Not Ecky Boy
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1) tell them you have AIDS.
2) tell them that whatever they are selling, you'll take TWO. Then casually mention that you are unemployed.
3) tell them that you do not own the house, you're actually a tenant. This REALLY scares them.
4) ask what colour underwear they are wearing. ( regardless of whether the're male or female)
I have used all the above successfully. |
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Monty
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Best one I saw came from Seinfeld. He tells the telemarketer that he's busy and then asks the telemarketer for his home phone number. Then Jerry says "Oh, you don't want people you don't know to call you at home? Well, then you know how I feel!" |
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Ah!
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When they ask me if I've got double glazing I say
"Hang on, I'll just go and look!"
Then leave the phone off the hook whilst I make a cup of tea and take bets as to how long they'll stay on the line waiting!
Or I just say '...Yessss.' manically for every question they ask.
Or I just don't say anything. Wait until they are in mid flow and just walk away from the phone.
I pity them really! |
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Lynn D
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My stock in trade answer....no matter what they are trying to sell... is always...I couldn't possibly afford any, as I spend all of my money on crack cocaine. They usually just hang up. |
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damarketingguy
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My favorite...and it takes some practice...is just to repeat back to them everything they say ..word...for..word...it takes about 2 minutes for them to think you're mental and they'll hang up and never call you again....work's like a charm. |
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janewayps
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sorry i can't talk right now i am naked and the showeres going cold. call back later i wont be home. |
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Miss Metro
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A rep refused to answer my question so I said "Look, I know it's you job to sit on the phone all day and make these calls but I have a life and I'm not going to play these stupid games with you!" |
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jomama
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I keep a whistle by the phone.........they don't call back! |
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Wanderer
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I get loud and obnoxiously say, "I can't hear you!" then they start talking louder and louder, disturbing their co-workers. Only once you have them up to a scream do you shout back "I DON'T WANT ANY" and slam the phone down. |
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Grannygrump
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I used to live in a very secluded cottage way up a single track lane among woodlands. I kept getting calls from a double glazing company, I explained that the property was listed and I didn't actually own it. Would not go away - asked for name of landlord, I replied the Queen you'll find her at Buckingham Palace! It was the truth the house was Crown Property! I often wondered if they were stupid enough to call! |
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debs1701
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I don't have any funny stories when it comes to telesales/marketing, I just tell them politely that I'mnot interested in what they have to say before they even get started on their speel and they're like "but you don't even know what we have to offer" so I just tell them once again that I'm not interested then I hang up.
I think hanging up on these people is the only kind of language they understand...fel sorry them at the same time, it's an awful job that I wouldn't have the patience for. |
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funkybluebird
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I ask them if i gave them the number when they have to say no i tell them "then your not welcome to phone here" and hang up |
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trouble4U
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i once told a magazine sales man that i was illiterate and was waiting on my son to get old enough to read to me
he told me that there were good programs he could offer me |
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yohan m
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sorry, i'll just go and get him
then i leave the phone lying there |
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Moofie's Mom
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Hi!
I have two things that I say!
First of all I decide which 'persona' I'm gonna adopt!
I have Maria the foreign Housekeeper. First of all I use a Mexican sounding accent. I say "Ello?". They ask if Mrs so'n'so is in. I say "sorry she no come out of jail 'til next year, Mr so'n'so say I must close house up and go back to Mamma". That gets rid of 'em right away!!
The other one is a Police Detective. I answer in a very authoritative voice and at first just say "Hello". They ask for Mr or Mrs so'n'so. I say "This is Police Detective Hardman. You have just rung this number which is part of a homicide crime scene, what is your business with the deceased?" It's hilarious to hear them stuttering and apologising!
Try any of the above and you'll have some great fun! |
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Duncan S
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Tell them that, like Traffic Wardens or Taxworkers, that:
"I know you're only doing your job, but it's a ****'s job and you have to be a **** to do it." |
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Ad Man
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You simply answer in a made-up foreign language. It works every time. |
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einreb
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I ask em for their home phone number |
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golferwhoworks
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I am very sorry, he died last week. I am just here trying to settle his affairs. |
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.......
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I tell them their through to the STD clinic and how can i help, the hang up pretty quickly lol |
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bratty brat
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My spouse *E works at a company(*ABC) that has telemarketers. By chance before E worked there E had bought a product from them. The telemarketers will call to set up service appts and such. So one day while E is at work, the phone rings so I answer. his is *Jane at ABC is E there. I'm puzzled thinking to myself hmm. I say to Jane, well no E better be there with you. So Jane is puzzled now. I say well E is supposed to be at work now and since E works there with you, you need to tell me where the hell E is. Jane was really puzzled and hung up on me. I was freaking out thinking something was wrong with E. So I called ABC to find out what was going on. Come to find out Jane was just a telemarketers there trying to make a service appt. She thought I was a nut job. |
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sharmie
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I said, "I'm sorry I'm not all here right now; please leave a message, and if I enter my right mind soon, I'll be sure to ring you back." |
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herbal ashtray
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My boyfriend recieved a call from one who was selling mobile phone contract, he said yes im really interested and then put the phone on the side and left it there. |
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zeggy
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I've now got that telephone preference service so don't get them anymore but when I did, I used to try and sell them stuff down the phone. Everytime they tried to read a line from their pre written script I would come back with a sales tack of my own or I would repeat exactly what they said. They got really pissed off and would hang up on me.
I also used to hand the phone to my daughter who at the time had only just started talking and she would babble down the phone at them! |
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bubblegum_lollypops123
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i went in a really babyish voice + started talking about barbie, it was so funny him trying to ask me to get my mum i then sed dat 'i go get mummy now' then pressed loads of different numbers so he could hear and then hung up |
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michael b
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i know where you are and if you ring this number again I'm coming with my shot gun to blow your balls off...never heard from him again |
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smartiebc
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The telemarketer asked me if I am interested in a magazine subscription so I asked him if he is interested in paying my phone bill since they call so much, he said no so I said NOOOOOO real loud into the phone and every since then I haven't received a call from them, hahaha.... |
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