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wishingforpeace101 | What you think of this sentence? anything wrong? 10 points for great help? |
I am doing a project for this, and there this sentence i am not sure if got anything wrong. Need your kind help here.
"Today as we continuously search for breakthrough enhancement, we are proud to present and give our most heartfelt congratulations to Axion Pte ltd for officially launch the yet another grand Axion Autohaus located at Maine Road, aspired to be at the forefront of the industry.
Please read this sentence, is there any mistake? please correct for me as i need to submit this tomorrow and thanks for your help. |
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lizzylubinski
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"Today as we continuously search for breakthrough enhancement, we are proud to present and give our most heartfelt congratulations to Axion Pte ltd for officially launch the yet another grand Axion Autohaus located at Maine Road, aspired to be at the forefront of the industry.
Today, as we continuously search for breakthrough enhancement, we are proud to present to Axion Pte Ltd our most heartfelt congratulations upon the official launching of yet another grand Axion Autohaus. The new Axion Autohaus is located on Maine Road, and certainly aspires to be at the forefront of the industry. |
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drumrb0y
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"Today, as we continuously search for breakthrough enhancementS, we are proud to present our most heartfelt congratulations to Axion Pte ltd for officially LAUNCHING yet another grand Axion Autohaus located at Maine Road, WHICH aspireS to be at the forefront of the industry." |
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malcolmgriggs
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I think it should read:
"Today as we continuously search for breakthrough enhancement, we are proud to present and give our most heartfelt congratulations to Axion Pte ltd for officially launching yet another grand Axion Autohaus located at Maine Road, which aspires to be at the forefront of the industry. "
There doesn't seem to be too much to change. |
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telefantastical
 |
its way to long to be one sentence. you need to make it more than one. |
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words_smith_4u
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Seems a bit of a 'run on'. Perhaps you should 'announce' the opening and then give congratulations.
Today, we are proud to officially launch the yet another grand Axion Autohaus located at Maine Road. We are proud to present and give our most heartfelt congratulations to Axion Pte ltd as they continue to aspire to be at the forefront of the industry. |
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glt025
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What you said made no sense and was riddled with grammatical errors. I've corrected your sentence below. It makes better sense now. You are congratulating somebody for starting something and he must know where it is located. No need to tell him about its location. He must know it. So I've corrected your sentence for you.
"We proudly congratulate Axion Pte ltd for officially launching yet another grand Axion Autohaus."
I |
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bongsky57
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HI. I am an Editor in chief of a publication here in the Phils and I guess I can help you.. here's the revised one..
"Today, as we continuously search for breakthroughs, we are proud to lay our heartfelt congratulations to Axion Pte ltd for officially launching and opening another grand Axion Autohaus located at Maine Road, aspiring to be at the forefront of the industry" |
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white_goth_11
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Comma after: Today, then: Ltd, then: launching no 'the' after. comma after Autohaus,
and it is a bit of a run on. you might want to think about making it 2 different sentences. |
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vegas_iwish
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Too long & grammatical errors. "Today,.....launching (no "the" after it)...(no comma after road) which aspires..." Should break it down too. |
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leadbelly
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it's clumsy.
"search for breakthrough enhancement" needs a subject
breakthrough enhancement...of what?
"Today we congratulate Axion Pte Ltd on the official opening of their Maine Road Axion Autohaus."
I think you are suggesting that your company and Axion are partners, and you are commending further co-operation and hopefully improving market share for mutual benefit.
the phrase "most hearfelt congratulations" is too much.
In my mind it's not really necessary to spell out your desire for greater market share....but I know some people like to mention it. |
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shri
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heartfelt must be changed into heartful.Pte should be changed to pvt.Launch should be changed to launching.The as to be removed before yet. |
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Borat2®
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Too long. Can't you just say"
Thanks Axion Pte Ltd for your great contribution to launch yet another Autohaus!!! Viva Axion !!! |
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