Can the chairperson of a committee vote?

The convention is that the chairman does not vote unless the vote results in a tie. In that case only, the chairman has a vote known as the "casting vote." It is customary for the chairman to use the casting vote in favour of status quo.

For example, at a board meeting of Johnson Brassieres, Bicycles and Safety Matches Ltd., Fred (sales), Gillian (finance), Harold (manufacturing) and Ian (product design) are present. Johnson is in the chair and Katie is making tea and taking notes.

Johnson: Item one, gentlemen, report on the new equipment being put into the factory.

Harold: After installing new machinery production will increase 8% and our unit costs will fall by around the same percentage.

Gillian: If it works.

Harold: There are always teething problems but no customers have died using our products since last Thursday.

Fred: I think the Bradford plant has breathed its last, quite honestly. The dead rat in the box of matches that exploded in Tesco this morning is the last straw. The Press will kill us and eat us for breakfast.

Katie: How can a dead rat explode?

Fred: It wasn't the dead rat. It was the box of matches.

Katie: How can you tell? Suppose the matches were perfectly all right but the dead rat had been eating a hand grenade?

Harold: That's what I'll tell that journalist if he rings again.

Gillian: You can't have Johnson's Brassiere, Bicycle and Safety Matches Ltd. admitting to harming an animal.

Fred: We didn't harm the animal. We say it ate the hand grenade before it got stuck in the box of matches.

Fred: Enough. We should outsource the whole manufacturing operation to China.

Katie: How did it pull the pin out?

Harold: What? I'm horrified. Do you know the temperature and humidity range for Beijing? I can't go moving halfway around the world and learning Chinese at my age.

Johnson: Let's put it to the vote.

Harold: It's just a long line of scribbles.

Fred: You'll get used to it.

Katie: Can I vote?

Johnson: No.

Ian: (waking up) May I have a cup of tea, please, Katie?

Johnson: Those in favour please show.

Ian: In favour of what?

Johnson: In favour of closing the factory and moving the manufacturing business to China.

Ian: Oh, I'm in favour of that. Anything for a quiet life.

Katie: Here's your tea, Ian.

Johnson (counts): And those against?

Gillian: Listen up, Ian! You're supposed to stick your hand up.

Ian: Up what?

Johnson: Two in favour and two against. There is an equality of voting. I shall have to use my casting vote.

Gillian: Where is Bradford? Is it near Richmond?

Johnson: The Bradford factory stays open.

Harold: Thank God for that! I could never get used to riding a bicycle.

God: Thank me? It's your decision, Harold, nothing to do with me at all.

Johnson: I wasn't expecting you.

God: You'll have to start believing in me now, won't you.

Fred: You don't seriously think the Bradford factory can turn out goods at the right price for much longer, do you?

God: Have you thought of producing food out of loaves and fishes?

Katie: Couldn't you just hold an earthquake or a tidal wave or something that'll engulf it and let us share the insurance money?

God: What about all the workers?

Harold: They'll find some other job.

God: No, they won't, they'll all be engulfed by the seismologically orientated calamitous destructuralisation event.

Johnson: Seismologically orientated calamitous destructuralisation event?

God: Earthquake. I'm trying to sound like a manager. Would you like me to do some Powerpoint?

(Slide appears on wall opposite. It says, Proposed Seismologically Orientated Calamitous Destructuralisation event at Bradford Factory. Slide 1 of 73. Start Yawning Now)

Harold: Our workers are just overalls on the minimum wage. We'll soon get another lot.

God: Jesus Christ! Is this really what goes on in the boardroom of a famous international company?

Ian: Actually, that's a jolly good idea of yours, Katie. Let's take a vote on it.

God: Can I vote?

Johnson: No. All those in favour of the Bradford factory being the unfortunate casualty of a seismologically orientated calamitous destructuralisation event?

Gillian: There hasn't been an earthquake in Bradford for more than a thousand years.

God: With me, a thousand years are as a day.

Johnson (counts): Four in favour and none against. Motion carried.

God: I can do you an earthquake in October. There's a bit of a waiting list. If I do too many then they don't get enough Press coverage.

Katie: Would you like a cup of tea?

God: Yes, please. Milk, two sugars. Got any of those little chocky biscuits?

Johnson: Meeting closed at 14.30 hours. Must get to the golf course by three. Gillian, a note of how much we can expect from the insurance policy on my desk lunchtime tomorrow please.

Katie: Here's your biscuit, Lord.

Gillian: Certainly.

God: How much is my share?

Katie: Oh, you can have all of it.

God: I meant my share of the insurance. After all, an earthquake would be an act of Me.

Gillian: Three per cent to your favourite charity?

God: Done. Do you want the straight earthquake or shall I tack on a volcanic eruption?

Johnson: Put that on the agenda for the next meeting and fetch my golf clubs. And tell Kevin to bring the Roller round to the front door in five minutes.