Got any funny blonde jokes?

I may be blonde but I luv to hear blonde jokes.

TRY THESE...

1

A bartender is sitting behind the bar on a typical day, when the door bursts open and in comes four exuberant blondes. They come up to the bar, order five bottles of champagne and ten glasses, take their order over and sit down at a large table. The corks are popped, the glasses are filled and they begin toasting and chanting, "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!"

Soon, three more blondes arrive, take up their drinks and the chanting grows, "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!" Two more blondes show up and soon their voices join in raising the roof, "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!"

Finally, the tenth blonde comes in with a picture under her arm. She walks over to the table, sets the picture in the middle and the table erupts. Up jump the others, they begin dancing around the table, exchanging high-fives, all the while chanting, "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!"

The bartender can't contain his curiosity any longer, so he walks over to the table. There in the center is a beautiful child's puzzle of the cookie monster. When the frenzy dies down a little bit, the bartender asks one of the blondes, "What's all the chanting and celebration about?"

The blonde who brought in the picture pipes up, "Everyone thinks that blondes are dumb and they make fun of us. So, we decided to set the record straight. Ten of us got together, bought that puzzle and put it together. The side of the box said 2 - 4 years, but we put it together in 51 days!"

2

A blonde was driving down the motorway when her mobile phone rang .It was her
husband, urgently warning her: "Honey, I just heard on the news that there's
a car going the wrong way on the M25. Please be careful!" "It's not just one
car!" said the blonde, "There's f***ing hundreds of them!"

3

A blond gets tired of it all and dyes her hair. She's now a brunette and feels *much* smarter. Everyone tells her she's smarter. So she goes for a drive in the country one day and stops in a lane which is blocked by a herd of sheep. She gets out, talks to the farmer and says, "If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I have one?"

He looks perplexed but says, "Sure."

So she says, " Uh....157?"

He says, "My God, that's correct. Take a sheep. "

So she wanders among the herd. She likes this one and that one and finally is very attracted to one that wags its tail and likes her. She picks it up and puts in it the car.

The farmer says, "Can I make a deal with you?"

"Sure, " says she.

He says, "If I can guess what color your hair really is,

can I have my dog back?"

4

A man entered the bus, with his pockets full of golf balls and sat down next
to a blond. The blond kept looking quizzically at him and his bulging
pockets.

Finally, after many such glances from her he said, "It's golf balls."

The blond continued to look at him thoughtfully and finally asked, "Does it
hurt as much as tennis elbow?"

5

A blonde is roller-skating down the board-walk one day. She's just skating along in her lycra pants, smiling at everyone, listening to her Walkman.

She decides that she really needs a haircut. She skates into the first salon she sees and goes up to the hairdresser and says, "I need a haircut." The hairdresser checks her out and says, "OK, sit down and take off your headphones." "No way!" shouts the blonde, "If I take off my headphones, I'll die!" "Then I can't give you a haircut," replies the hairdresser.

So the blonde gets up and leaves and skates further down the board-walk. She sees another salon, goes in, and says to the hairdresser, "I need a haircut... but you can't take off my headphones or I'll die!" The hairdresser looks at her a little weird, but says, "OK, no problem. Have a seat." So the blonde sits down and the hairdresser comes up behind her, and when she isn't looking, rips the headphones off her head.

Suddenly the blonde starts choking, and soon turns blue in the face, then keels over and dies right there in the salon chair. The hairdresser is a little freaked by this. The hairdresser leans over and cautiously listens into the blonde's headphones and hears...

"Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out..."

HEHE..HAVE FUN!!

I get bored of Dumb jokes...
What did the blonds left leg say to her right?
Nothing, they've never met!

Whats the diffrence between the titanic and a blond?
We know how many people went down on the titanic

Brunette and Blonde in a lift and the Brunette says "omg! is that a c*m stain on the wall?!" She sniffs the stain "well deffiently smells like a c*m stain!" To her disgust the blonde drops to her knees and licks the stain! "Yea it's deffiently a c*m stain... but it's no one in this office block"

One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.

The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.

He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.

Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.

The blonde started laughing.

This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.

This time the blonde laughed even harder.

Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.

The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny.

The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"

Q: What do you call a blonde behind a steering wheel?
A: An air bag

I am a blonde, and I love blonde jokes too:)

How do you keep a blonde in suspense?

A brunette walked into a hair salon and the hair stylist said wat nice brunette hair you have, she said it's natrul.
A red head walked into a hair salon and the hair stylist said wat nice red hair u have, she said it's natrul.
A green haired girl walked into a hair salon and the hair stylist said wat nice green hair you have. (first wiped her nose and then into her hair) she said it's naatrul

~ thier is this blonde and her house is on fire!!
~ and she calls the fire department and thier like ma'am how do we get 2 ur house??
~ she says big red fire truck duh!!!

~ lol i thought it was funny!! =)

what is the difference between a blonde and a mosqitoe? when you slap the mosqitoe it stops sucking.

A blond, a brunett, and a redhead are standing next to this well that sucks u in if u tell a lie.

The redhead says "Im the smartest girl in the whole world!" and she gets sucked into the well.

The brunett says "I think im the prettiest girl in the world!" and gets sucked into the well.

Then the blond goes "I think..." and gets sucked in.

There are a bunch of people standing around telling blonde jokes and giggling. A blonde, insulted, retorts "I hate blonde jokes....I just don't get them!"

Is that funny? It seems funnier to me because this actually happened when I was at high school.

theres a blonde at work her boss sees her crying he comes over and says wats wrong she said my mother just died he asked her do you want the rest of the day off she said no ill be fine an hour later her sister called her and saiad her mother justed died the boss sees her crying again ask her wats wrong she says my sister's mother just died to

LOL thats my favorite!!!

here's one for you. it's a blonde guy joke though...........
One day three men were working on a building and it was time for the lunch break. The first man was Spanish and he opened up his lunch box and found burritos. He said "If I ever see burritos again I will jump off this building." The second man was Irish and he opened up his lunch box and found corn beaf and cabbage. He said "If I ever see corn beef and cabbage again I will jump off this building too." The third man was a blonde American and he opened up his lunch box and he had ham. He said "If I ever see ham again I will jump off this building as well." The next day the bell rang for lunch..............again the Spanish man opened up his lunch box and guess what he found? You guessed, burritos. So he jumped off the side of the building to his death. The Irish man opened up his lunch box. I don't need to tell you what he had for lunch. He had corn beaf and cabbage. He also proceded off the side of the building to his death. The blonde American man opened up his lunch box and...........you know what I'm just going to skip to the end. So at the three men's funural's their wives were all talking to each other saying, "I could have given him a taco, or I could have given him some potatos." The blonde American's wife said, "Don't look at me he makes his own lunch." I hope that was a good enough joke for you. :)

How to kill a dumb blond.

Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

What do a blonde and a turtle have in common?

Once they're both on their backs they're screwed.

There are 3 blondes lost in a desert right?
They have been walking for days!!! They come across a lamp in the dirt.
The first blonde says, "I saw the movie Aladdin" If we rub the lamp, than aa genie will pop out!"
So they rub the lamp, and sure enough, out comes the genie!!
The genie says, "Allright you know the ddrill, since there are three of you, you each get one wish."
The first blonde thinks for a moment, "I wish I was smarter."
She became a redhead.
The second blonde said, "I wish I was smarter than her!!"
She became a bruenette.
The third blonde sits there for a few minutes and says, "I wish I was smarter than the both of them put together!!!"
She became a man!!!!!!!!!
How was that?

a blonde brunette and a redhead are sitting on a couch
the brunette says i am gonna have a boy cuz i was on top
red head says i'm gonna have a girl cuz i was on bottom
the the blondie starts cryin i am gonna have a dog cuz i did it d.oggie style

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