How can you let go your sister whom died of lung cancer?

Helping Yourself Through Grief
Active, healthy grieving requires balance -- balancing the time you spend directly working on your grief with the time you spend coping with your day-to-day life; balancing the amount of time you spend with others with the time you spend alone; balancing your need for help from others with caring for yourself. Focusing too strongly on any single side of these pairings is getting off-track.
Here are some things others have found useful in their healthy grieving. Choose the ones that fit for you, or make up your own methods of self-care. Remember that grieving is an active process, it takes energy that will likely have to be temporarily withdrawn from the usual pursuits of your life. Treat yourself with the same care, tolerance, and affection you would extend to a valued friend in a similar situation.

Go gently -- take whatever time it needs, rather than giving yourself a deadline for when you should be "over it"

Expect and accept some reduction in your usual efficiency and consistency

Try to avoid taking on new responsibilities or making major life decisions for a time

Talk regularly about your grief and your memories with someone you trust

Accept help and support when offered

Be particularly attentive to maintaining healthy eating and sleeping patterns

Exercise moderately and regularly

Keep a journal

Read -- there are many helpful books on grief; some are listed below. If grief is understood it is easier to handle

Plan, and allow yourself to enjoy without guilt, some GOOD TIMES. The goal is balance, not martyrdom

Carry or wear a linking object -- a keepsake that symbolically reminds you of your loss. Anticipate the time in the future when you no longer need to carry this reminder and gently let it go

Tell those around you what helps you and what doesn't. Most people would like to help if they knew how

Take warm, leisurely baths

See a grief counselor

Get a massage regularly

Set aside a specific private time daily to remember and experience whatever feelings arise with the memories

Choose your entertainment carefully -- some movies, TV shows, or books can only over-intensify already strong feelings

Join a support group -- there are hundreds of such groups and people have a wonderful capacity to help each other

Plan for 'special days' such as holidays or anniversaries. Feelings can be particularly intense at these times

Pray

Take a yoga class

Connect on the Internet. There are many resources for people in grief, as well as opportunities to chat with fellow grievers

Vent your anger in healthy ways, rather than holding it in. A brisk walk or a game of tennis can help

Speak to a member of the clergy

Plant yourself in nature

Do something to help someone else

Write down your lessons. Healthy grieving will have much to teach you.

More information here:

http://www.mtech.edu/counseling/healthy_grieving.htm

Take this as a lesson and don't smoke or work near a place with a lot of soot.

Ya, I wouldn't want to let her go. Always remember her.

It is very difficult to live life after you've lost a sibling. I can say this, because I lost a child of mine from cancer.

The answer is that you never let her go; if you truly loved your sister for whom she was, then a part of you lives on through her impressions left behind.

I can imagine how your sister felt knowing that she was going to die, I imagine that she felt at some point that she was concerned for everyone who she knew she was going to leave. It was probably more difficult for her to let go that it was for everyone else.

I'm really sorry for your loss...i am 16 & my father died of lung cancer last year...i understand what u must be going through....Seek counseling, write out your feelings in a journal, try yoga, talk to your friends about how you feel...the most important thing for you to do is to keep busy so you dont sit around mourning your sister...she would have wanted you to continue to have a fulfilling life, even if she couldnt....maybe you could attend a TRUTH meeting and volunteer to speak to the children about the risks of smoking...we need to educate our future generation to ensure that the right values & morals are passed on...i hope this helped you, and i will pray for you.

my aunt died from lung cancer

dont let go of her. keep her memory alive. set up a nice memorial for her on the wall or somewhere - something for everyone to see and remember her by. just be happy for her that she no longer has to deal with this evil and cruel world. talk to her in ur dreams. this is what she would've prolly wanted.

Well I know how you feel1 You may think that I don't but I do! For because I lost someone very close to me because of Lung Cancer. I lost my grandpa, who died on 12/25/04. I was so said. This is what i did. I tried to think of the good things we did together and remembered where he was going Heaven. Then what I also thought that I would join this person someday, and Then I just let go. I also know that this person would be with me where ever I go.

She will always be part of you but prayer does help and knowing that she is no longer in pain and in a much better place always helps too...

I don't think that you can ever let go of someone that you love. I would discuss this matter with someone that you are close too. I know that it helps when you talk about it. Good Luck!!!

i can say with confidence that it is a very hard thing to deal with, i have lost 5 family members including my wife in a three year period and it was one of the most difficult things i have ever had to go thru, all u can do is let your feelings run thier coarse, what i done was one day i just said to myself, you have to pick up the pieces and move on, then i loaded all my wifes clothes in the car and took them to goodwill, i still think of her today even though its been ten years now, but i think i made the right choice, it does not help to keep hanging on, your sister knows u love her and she is with you today, i think she would want you to go forward with your life,

i do wish you the very best and life is just not fair some times

DON'T LET HER GO LET HER LIVE THROUGH U

well i cant tell you how but i can tell you that what ever you dont think of the good times you have had with her because that would just make me cry all over again!

First of all I am very sorry to hear that. I have lost many people close to me in my short time on this earth, and the best way that I have found to deal with it is to always remember the good things about that individual (the things that made you laugh or smile) while at the same time realizing that you will not see that person again. (this is much easier to say than to do.) You have to come to grips with the fact that, as humans, we are fragile, mortal beings who cannot live forever. Death is just another part of life, and sometimes I think that the people who have already experienced death are the lucky ones because they have already been through the hardest part of life. I don't know if you believe in an afterlife or not, but if you do, try to envision your sister there and keep that image in your head whenever you think of her. I hope some of this made sense to you, and I hope that things get better for you.

Always remember her. Also have faith what happened was for a reason. Try and find that reason and make her death a positive thing.

The simple answer is time.

If you want to active in your mourning the best thing to do is help someone else. Spend time with the other people that miss her, especially if she had children. Donating your time to cancer wards is also excellent.

Help people to quit smoking.

I feel for you.

because you know now that she is in a better place and dont have to suffer no more. so you should that God for that shes not suffering no more no one likes to see a loved one suffer. sorry for your loss

you dont need to let her go in time all wounds heal you will never forget but in time things get better

I believe you should just pray about it. And believe me with all thats going on in the world right now, its probably best that your sister is in a safer place. And its better for you, b/c now you don't have to watch her fight the cancer. It hurts to see someone you love in pain, so just to get you back focused you probably should go to the gym. Exercise some of your emotions away. Sorry to hear about your loss. Keep GOD first, its going to be okay. SMILE

Why would you want to let her go? You should just remember all the good about her. Remember when she made you laugh or helped you out when you were in need. Most of all smile for her every time you think of her. She would probably enjoy a smile.

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