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Absolute Rotter | How much will it cost me to buy Great Britain? |
Being a British gentleman it pains me to see this once great land in much need of repair. And I have decided to purchase it off the government and have it spruced up to its once former glory. I'm thinking of offering that oaf Gorden Brown £6.5 million do you think that's a reasonable offer. Of course once its in my hands I shall make a few much needed changes, the first being evicting Gorden Brown. |
 |
 
Scoundy
|
This chap, Broon - or whatever his name is, would have no authority to sell this great land as he is a non-elected Prime Minister (like a dictator sort of thing) and therefore cannot speak on behalf of the people (not forgetting of course that he his an immigrant - this is one situation where our friends in the USA wouldn't have allowed to happen in the first place anyway).
However, I feel the people would welcome such a sale if only to be rid of the man. Your valuation seems to be a good offer indeed - yet another example of the Rotter generosity, good show sir.
Presumably, one of the changes you would make immediately would be the reinstatement of the servant's proper place - i.e. "downstairs". In recent years they seem to have developed the audacity to demand - yes DEMAND I tell you, implementation of "Health & Safety" laws- how ridiculous, and all instigated by this brutal communist dictator Broon.
Gad sir, it makes my British blood boil just to think of what has happened in recent years and you have my full support in this enterprising venture and any financial contribution I can give will naturally be on hand to help secure this much needed purchase, should you need it.
Alternatively, we can meet at the club over a bottle of Gordon's and I can work out some scam at getting the place much cheaper, old chap. Why not, eh? |
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sumbumblebee
 |
Hm. That works out to be around 11 million USD. (Sorry, I can't think in pounds sterling.)
Can I immigrate to your new country? Sounds like fun. |
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Lady Felicity Pamper McFud
 |
Good grief, old chap, don't pay for the country in sterling! Don't you know our pounds are worthless at the moment? Might I suggest you pay the equivalent in Zimbabwe dollars? One Mugabe dollar should be enough to bail out old Blighty, given the current balance sheet. Indeed, send our oafish PM over to that African bastion of democracy. I hear Gordon Brown is very popular in Zimbabwe these days and would be welcomed with open arms by their despot leader, especially if he gets off the plane and tells them how happy he is to be in Rhodesia. Toodle pip. |
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James Jones
|
hmm. what would the changes be? I'll chip a tenner in, anyhow. It can't be much worse than it is now. |
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Lord Percy Fawcette-Smythe.
|
As a member of the House of Lords, Boodles, Miss Fifi Latours Pleasure Palace, the Hackney Bingo Hall and a Justice of the Peace I am obliged to tell you that it makes me a public servant and as such you will own me if you buy this country. Well dammit Rotter you are not going to own me, by jingo no !!! I know your sort from past dealings, in two shakes you will have sold the damned country side to the Arabs and the towns to the Chinese. So if it happens, I am off to the colonies, can't be much worse, Lady Agatha has a yearning to visit her sister Ermintrude in Botany Bay or somewhere similar, damned impertinence. |
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Roderick B
|
Are you certain about this, ol' bean? I was told that it includes retaining the services of the current PM. |
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Lord Charles
 |
Brown is most certainly NOT authorised to sell the family silver. He's just a temporary member of staff and he doesn't own Britain any more than your chauffeur owns your car. I shudder to think what you would do if you saw the Bentley being driven away and Arkwright skulking off with his pockets lined with tenners.
That said, I believe that the UK may be available this weekend at the Crown Assets Christmas Special '50% off everything' sale. Sadly they've pulled the 'buy one, get one free' offer as no one seems to want France as part of the package. |
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Mick W
 |
I think you need to enlist the services of christine keeler and mandy rice- davis, as they have vast experience and a proven track record in milking politicians, which is only fair as they have jerked of the British taxpayers for the last 10 years, made the country bankrupt and the population destitute, perhaps woollies could offer special deals for having the entire cabinet breast fed on battery acid and snake venom, to stabilise their brains before they are sent to a special convention at Blackpool's Funny Girls club and then onto the Flying Handbag Club, to convert them fully into five speed articulated diesel driven doughnuts, then be Integrated with canine deposits normally found in plastic bags, and their cologne, this valuable mixture could be used to fertilise the flower beds around palaces and stately homes of the titled gentry. |
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Roosh
|
Sav some money and buy it in Euros! |
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Jazz Guy
|
2 pounds sounds better. |
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Fred F
 |
Certainly agree that the first thing you do is get rid of Brown.
I think your very generous offer of 6.5 mill is a bit on the high side though. Try about £1.50 and Prudence will bite your hand off for it.
Rex Tremble (or whatever you're called), had a sense of humour transplant have you. |
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smoking with style
|
Ok, this is what you do. Send 100,000 dollars to
8957 el oro plaza drive, elk grove california 95624 in the us. Thank you. Oh yeah, name is matthew kammerer, I'm 17 and I need it to strike back against the government. SWS |
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ann f
|
Well being as our money isn`t worth the paper it`s printed on I reckon about 50p should do it |
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mim
 |
It is tooooooo much.You can buy U.S.A with this amount.I think u will get Great Britain free. |
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Rex Tremendae
|
Your question is a bit nonsensical and the premise is fundamentally flawed (the government does not "own" Britain, so they would have no right to sell it to you). That said, your offer would be laughed out of Parliament.
Valuing Great Britain would require the standard valuation considerations -- projected cash flows and an appropriate discount rate. Great Britain's GDP was roughly $2.8 billion (USD at market exchange rates) last year, and their 5-year average growth in real GDP as of last year was 2.8%. The most basic valuation one could derive results in a roughly $1.21 billion value. |
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