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horse_is_breeze | I have a friend whose overwieght she always says she hates her body, while I'm underwieght. Any help? |
She hates her body. She wouldn't wear dresses really, while I'm always in a thight shirt and thight jeans. I really want to help her. Any help? |
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SkyRaider
|
She has a good friend. You're kind of in an awckward position to help an overweight friend. If you try to help her to get thinner, she might end up resenting you because she'll think you don't like her.
Remember that being fat is not a body problem, it's an emotional problem. What you can help her the most is in raising her self-esteem while she remains fat. Tell her "it's Ok to be fat". Well, not in those words. Say "don't worry about what people say, people are very judgmental, and they don't understand that women have issues". Tell her "I don't think you hate your body because you're overweight, I think you have had emotions you haven't resolved yet". That sounds like psychobabble but it's pretty close to reality. You can probably find a better way to say it.
If you're just wishing she was thinner, and she's bringing you down emotionally, you need to think of yourself first, also. You might get to a point where you can't take it, and that is OK, you can take a break too. |
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iwasjustwonderinman
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Well with the simple things in life is this..... you can help her lose weight by eating the right dietary foods that will help burn the fat and cellulite. And then work on the amount of times you should eat a day by talking to a Dietary Counselor on this problem schematic. And then work forth by drinking lots of water which does help with the body's secretion to help hydrate the body to keep it going. But be sure you talk to her about meeting with a dietary counselor and a health doctor. |
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lotus_of_peaceâ„¢
 |
Just give her your Love and support,dont judge her or talk about her weight,but ask if she would like to start an exercise routine or join a gym with you.Reassure her that she is a beautiful person and accept her just as she is,dont talk about your struggles with thinness and dont bring up her weight.When she is ready,then support her goals,but dont push the issue! |
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Demonica
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I'm not sure you can help her, but you didn't say in what way she may need support. I also have an overweight friend,we've been best friends for over 20 years, but I'm not sure if that's because I don't tell her she needs to lose weight (I never noticed it until recently that her health has become a major issue, we're both in our mid-40s) because she tells me she's hurt by people telling her she needs to lose. So, geeez, it is a difficult situation to be in. You want her to be comfortable yet you don't want her to die, or feel unloved just as she is. But YOU can't DO a thing. Just love and support her. |
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Hello my fellow Yahoo-ers!
|
Honestly, you can't dear. I (used to) happen to have a friend with the same circumstances. I am the smaller one, and she's the not-so-smaller one. All you can really do is try to encourage her to get up and around more. If you guys are as good of friends as I think, tell her you are concerned about her health. Really, that's all you can do. |
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ypgirl75
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That's really nice of you to care and want to help her. Have you tried talking with her and asking her if there is anything you can do to help? Overweight people hear all the time how they should lose weight...eat less, exercise more. A different approach would be to -instead of telling her what she should do- is asking what you could do to help her.
Maybe the two of you could start food journals - she would be tracking what she ate to make sure she wasn't overeating and you could track to make sure you're eating healthy as well.
Maybe you could research food portions together? What is a portion of vegitables? What is a portion of cereal? Measure it out - you'd be surprised.
Maybe you could start exercising together? If you were to do some weight training, that would help her lose weight (along with cardio) and help you gain a little in muscle.
Letting her know that you care about her - that she's healthy and happy IS helping her too :) |
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grape_vine18
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Just tell her to watch what she eats. If she wants to lose pounds, it wouldn't be that easy. She has to control and limit what she eats. And she has to consume healthy and nutritious foods, and of course, exercise. It's gonna take time but patience and determination will help her make it. Encourage her and be with her through her struggles. It's gonna be quite a long journey, but it's definitely worth it! =) Tell her that she shouldn't hate her body. It's not how you look outside that defines you..it is who you are inside that makes you beautiful inside out! =) |
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gracie lou
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i use to be the skinny friend and now after kids i am the fat friend and there really is nothing you can do but be her friend. she will get to the point and do something about it. just be there to help when she's ready (maybe be a gym buddy) |
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balula
 |
Well, i will be really honest here.
Trying to convince her that she is beautiful inside and that her body doesn't determines who she is ( which is all true) won't do her any good. Those are only words ... is hard but true.
If you are really her friend you have to show it with actions. Offer her to visit a specialist in weight problems if she is really overweight or tell her that you want to start and exercise program with her, you can do this like a girl thing and have fun.
There's even a website that can be really helpful with this and can even help her to eat better. Check it out.
In all that you say to her try to be supportive and patient. Try to understand her feelings and show her that she must try to lose weight not only because how she looks but MOST OF ALL because of her health.
P.S. Excuse my english, is not my native language |
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gradbabe04
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you should tell your friend that it dosent matter what her weight is or the weight of her friends that it's whats in the inside that makes her the person that she is |
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barrelcutterroper
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the only thing that i can tell you is are you happy with the way that you look if not then you need to change the way that you look. It should not matter what you look like are you happy with yourself. A guy that truly does like you and possibly love you does it cause of who you are not by appearances, that is what you think of yourself. hope i am of some help. |
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