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Cameron Diaz | If my parents are complete selfish jerks, should I disown or forgive them? |
This isn't really a joke. I wasn't perfect, but I was only 14. They, on the other hand, used religion to selfishly acquire what they wanted out of each other, my two brothers, and yours truly.
They beat us. They emotionally abused us. All three of us ended up turning to drugs. I turned away from drugs and found a life I'm proud of, yet I'm still watching my brother destroy himself. He was practically dead the last time I checked. My mom is still pumping him with the b.s. church crap.
To tell you the truth, I don't want anything to do with them.
What do you think? |
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cligradchic04
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The hardest thing to do is to forgive; but it's even harder to live with regret. Don't let them hold any power over you, and just forgive them. This doesn't mean you have to like them; or even talk to them! You just have to forgive. It may not help the relationship--but it'll help you! This is your chance to be a little selfish and look out for yourself, AND be the bigger person (lord knows they certainly weren't)!G'luck:)
PS- Sorry what happened! I know someone with a similar story and I wish you the best! :) |
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Lady Lara Croft
 |
Forgive them. Everyone hates their parents at one point in their life. |
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Lynnifinn
 |
If you do not want anything to do with them (I would not either) than just don't talk to them. If you love them, talk to them. |
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jang geum
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I think the best advice I could give you is to work hard -- study hard so you have a better future for you and so you can drive your life. Dont punish yourself for the mistakes of your parents. I know its hard to forgive right now, and i am not asking that you understand them either.. what i ask of you is be a better you, dont let the situation beat you.
Prove to them and to yourself too that you are not like them. And pray hard, there may be tougher times ahead but it is always a comforting idea that you are not alone. You always have God.. |
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Kalydescope
 |
It depends. First, I think u need to detoz urself of ur parents' selfish ways. Yes, for that, it takes forgiveness. Forgive them for ur childhood. Forgive them for ur siblings childhood. But if they're still the way they are, and u just cant take it anymore(provided ur out of the situation), then maybe moving as far away as possible, changing ur identity, and basically dropping of their radar might be good. As for disowning, I don't know...u might need or want them some day...and wounds run deep...and u might want ur kids to know their grandparents....and on a chance that might never happen...they might change and see the error in their ways. Disowning is a harsh thing, and it shouldn't be taken llightly...that's why moving far,far away,and leaving ur # unlisted, and conveniently forgetting to give it to them, might be a better remedy for u. Everyone does hate their parents at one time or another, but they can love again, atleast leave ur heart open to this? |
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soledad67
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I'm sorry you feel that way.Parents have good intentionsand do only what they know how to do.It's too bad parents were not required to do courses before they have children.Alot of young people are turned off by religion because of false beliefs.And the fear of God. |
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jayztttight
 |
you should distance yourself as far away as you can, because I have felt some of this. Forget disown, forget the forgiving part. What you need to be concerned with, if they have abused you and made you do drugs and have been a bad influence, is distance yourself as far away as possible, take that from someone who knows. I actually still live with my parents, but as I grew up, I knew that if I wanted to stay on a good path and become something one day, I had to distance myself as humanly possible while being in the same house (trust me, very hard). I am now at the point where I don't talk to them unless it's relevant or important, talks about how things are going and whatnot no longer happen, when they are here I try to get out, I try to distance myself, it is much better if you personally can move to another house/place, but ya that's just my 2 cent's, it helped me tremendously, whatever you do though do not let your parents stop you in any way. Look at it the same way I look at it. If your parents stop you, they win. Period. If you let your parents stop you, they are the better people. You cannot give into this. IF THEY STOP YOU, THEY WIN. Say this to yourself when you are down and out.
**Update**
by the way, that having nothing to do with them probably is the best idea. Like I said, distance. Get away from them for a pretty long time, then when your life is in the order that your parents could not hope to touch it, then maybe you can decide for yourself whether to disown or forgive them.In my experience, I think that the things done to me will never be forgotten, but I think when I get to be like 25 I will forgive them enough that I can visit once in a while, be civil, and maybe take care of them when they're older. |
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misskiss0901
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well i think if she hurted u taht bad the nnot to forgive her for sumthin she has put down on ur heart |
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'---:::{♥
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Forgive them,but keep away from your no good parents.Stay close to your brothers help them out to get clean,they need you more than ever.It's sad to hear that your parents weren't there for you and your brothers,but you can be there for each other. |
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McSpicy
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follow ur heart. if u feel u carn take it, do wat u want to do. |
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Rishi
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This is a tough one...the art of parenting isn't a perfect science, i've also got friends who've been pumped with the church stories....i think the trick is to stop pushing...the harder we push them...the harder they push us. Losing touch with our parents is a really difficult decision to make...most of the time we seem to hate them, but could we have been who we are today without them? I don't know your age, but I really hated my parents from about 11 onwards until I moved away to college....distance does really make the heart grow fonder...so maybe that's worth a shot.
Whatever you decide to do, make sure you won't regret it...and good luck!!! |
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