lostinlove
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Honey, I know just how you feel. My husband passed away and we had only been married not quite 3 years. He was my soul-mate. I can hardly remember anything I did for that first year. It was like I was in some kind of a trance. It was so hard going on without him. At first it was hard to talk about because I would cry every time. But now in has been 7 years and it no longer hurts to talk about it but I really think it helps. I believe right now you are still in shock but when it wears off you will surely know it. I wish you happier days ahead and my prayers are with you. |
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Tom M
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Time will heal your pain. Right now it hurts so much. As time passes you will feel more, because you will be stronger. You want to carry him in your heart for ever, and it takes a while to get used to it. It is so normal for you to feel this way. If you want to talk to someone about it, ask your doctor for references to grief counselors. If you still feel real bad after a few months, you might want to talk to a counselor, anyway. But the first few months are tough. Don't worry, though, things will get better. |
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pamela-burnett@sbcglobal.net
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I am so very sorry for your loss. People grieve in different ways and there is no reason for you to feel guilty for not crying every day. When the numbness wears off, who knows you may just cry your heart out. Allow yourself to grieve in your own way. When my dad died I was criticized for not showing emotion. I poured myself into my work. That was my way of dealing with the pain of the loss. It didin't matter what others said. That was the only way I knew how to cope. Stay in touch, will ya? |
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♥cute~girl♥
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I'm sooooooo sorry to hear that. You have to take your own time to grieve. I have seen other girlfriends go through this and it's usually when they talk to other people about it the tears start to come out.
Just don't try to replace him too fast, give yourself time.
Good Luck. |
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DLeibowitz
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I'm sorry to hear this. Please accept my condolences. Numb is normal. First comes denial and anger and grief. Then ultimately acceptance. You will certainly cry. And someday, the pain will ease. Your friends and loved ones will help.
Don't feel guilty. Your emotions are your's alone and they are valid just as they are. |
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myneighneigh
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The realness will be after a time when you don't see him for a while. The only help i can give is turn to God and Jesus. They are our own real comfort. I know your friend can't put his arms around you now- but because of Christ- it won't always be like that. Don't make the mistake with your next-- of trying to see Him in other guys. Don't compare, or try to find him in others. He would want you to.see others and be happy. DON'T go to his grave. He would not want that for you.Get yourself busy- help others, etc. |
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drewster
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You shouldn't feel guilty about it. No doubt, you are still in shock over this. It may take a little time to actually register. However, don't feel guilty or beat yourself up over this---that is definitely the last thing you need to be doing on top of everything else. My Sincere Condolences. |
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miso1cat
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I am so sorry for you. I know when I lost my Dad I went through different phases of emotion. First I was in disbelief, then I was angry, then sad...still kind of sad but in a different way, then comes the acceptance. Losing a loved one just takes time. You will process it emotionally as you are able. I know everything seems very strange right now but just try to alow yourself to feel. God Bless. |
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sweetheart25
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I'm so sorry I can only imagine what you're going through. I recently lost two family members at once. The first day I cried and after that I felt like you I was completely numb for days. You get to the place where you feel nothing at all. And after a few days my numbness turned into this terrible pain. A feeling of wanting to scream but you can't and then the feeling is unexplainable. You should not feel guilty for noting crying everyday. You're probably dealing with it in other ways. Just because you don't cry doesn't mean that you don't hurt. Sometimes you hurt more because you can't seem to find a vent to let it out. But there is one thing for sure. God's word the Bible gives us promises in regards to the ones that we have lost in death. John 5:28,29 says this "Do not marvel at this, because the hour is coming in which all those in the memorial tombs will hear his voice and come out, those who did good things to a resurrection of life, those who practiced vile things to a resurrection of judgment." and also notice what Revelations 21:3,4 says " With that I heard a loud voice from the throne say: "Look! The tent of God is with mankind, and he will reside with them, and they will be his peoples. And God himself will be with them. 4 And he will wipe out every tear from their eyes, and death will be no more, neither will mourning nor outcry nor pain be anymore. The former things have passed away." This briefly lets us know that there will be a resurrection and that we will have an opportunity to see the ones we lost in death again. I encourage that you read the following article at the link below. It entitled "When Someone You Love Dies." Also feel free to contact me for any other information.
http://www.watchtower.org/library/we/index.htm |
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tomcut2000
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It is sad to hear your loss... I can tell you that it is not a sin to cry everyday... in fact it is a strengh that you can move on with life and that is a good thing... as to becoming numb... it will happen only with time... how long... it depends on person to person.. I hope this helps |
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gizmogizgismo
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im sorry to hear that!....just be true to yourself dont think you shouldnt cry just let it out it will be better i promise you |
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jesom
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im sorry hon it is real go ahead and cry my prayers are with you |
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ktyler1512
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My grandmother was my best friend when she died, it took me nearly a year to cry and now I do it about once a week. I can't tell you it will get better or to let it out, just let your heart and soul feel their way through. My condolences and maybe you should talk with someone, maybe open up to his mother or a friend that could understand. |
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King Yellow
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Well, you have to survive and move on with your life. You should respect your boyfriend and think about him, but don't ruminate over his death. Ruminative coping has been known to lead to severe depression and even suicide. If you really need help, talk with a counsellor or a professional. Try to distract yourself from thinking negative thoughts, because that's not going change anything. In this difficult time, perhaps you should try to engage in distracting activities until you are better ready to handle thinking about the death.
Best wishes to you and your family. Hopefully you can handle this well. It's normal to feel a shock right after the passing and feel extremely numb, but normally you will feel the weight of it within a week or so. |
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cardinalfan12001
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Babbie girl it is what it is we all will go through right now i have a friend going through now her boyfriend passed u will cry when u cry don't feel guilty 4 not crying everyday that jest lets us know that u or being real grieve like u and only u being numb is OK not crying everyday is OK u or OK god b with u |
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Mad_Tony
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its real. its just the level of 'real-ness' that you have to put up with |
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babyphat
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i understand how you feel. i think it will become real when you see a car that he used to drive, when call him on cell and realize that he won't answer, when you go somewhere that you two have been. don't feel guilty it will take sometime. just remember that you loved him and he loved you and just hold on to that because no one will take that away from you right now the memories hurt but they will help in the long run |
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delayla
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dear friend , am so sorry for your lost , you will have to accept it , its ugly , it hurts , its not normal , u miss him .... but you are ALIVE !!! life is too short to do things you hate , he wouldnt wanna see you cry so "smile" .. he wouldnt wanna see you unhappy so "be happy" and he wouldnt wanna see you lonely , so " have company" .. let people help you , and go for helping other people , this way you will have company , happiness for helping others and a chnace to meat others !!!!
good luck |
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