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hip_n_hapnin_lpn | What do I do about a girl that is threatining and bullying my daughter constantly? I live in Oklahoma.? |
Additional Details
my daughter is 13 and has fought the girl b4 but she tends to keep agging it on! threats over the computer and phone!
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Imaka
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Is this happening at and around school? Most bullying seems to happen as part of going to school and while in school. And how old is your daughter? Those are important factors.
Do try to teach your daughter be assertive, but she is probably not strong enough to fight the bully physically as some posters have suggested ... bullies don't pick on kids who are stronger than them. Bullies don't go away. It is true that bullies are cowards, and tend to back down when people stand up to them, but bullies also seek revenge. I don't know how old your daughter is, but this problem needs to be dealt with. Unless bullies are stopped, they tend to get worse and worse, not better.
If this is happening at school, most schools have someone you can go to so that some adult there will know about what's happening and can begin to stop it - a guidance counselor, a teacher you and she both trust, the principal, someone. If this bully has actually attacked your daughter, go to the police. The bully can be charged. No matter what the bully has said about not telling anyone, TELL someone else.
Here are some well researched tips, designed for the kids, on dealing with bullying that may help you and your daughter:
1. If you are bullied, TELL. Telling is not being weak or being a coward or tattling. It is helping to protect everyone from that bully. Your daughter is brave to tell.
2. Tell someone you trust who can do something - teacher, counselor, parent, some other adult. You CANNOT handle this yourself.
3. Do not retaliate or get angry. This could make things worse.
4. Respond evenly and firmly or say nothing and walk away.
5. Develop good strong friendships and support each other. Bullies tend to pick on kids that they think don't have many friends or kids they think others won't hlep.
6. Act confident.
7. Try to stay away from places the bully will be if that is possible. For example, take a different route to school.
8. Avoid unsupervised areas of the school.
9. Try not to bring expensive items to school that might attract the bully's attention and that he might try to take or break.
10. To gain confidence and feel stronger and feel that you can take care of yourself, enrol in a self-defence program if one is available, or a martial arts program or something like that. Self defence programs teach you some very good skills, very quickly.
11. Join a group, such as Scouts, a cadet program, or something like that, so that you have a special group of friends who will support you.
Go to the website www.bullying.co.uk/ which has lots of information for parents and for kids about bullying and about some things you can do. I think this website might really help you figure out some good positive things you and your daughter can do to deal with this.
I hope this helps you. Good luck with sorting this out. Don't give up. There is help out there. Take care. |
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swimmom
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Do they attend the same school? If so, many schools are very proactive about bullying, especially after all the violence blamed on victims getting revenge.
Talk to the teachers and administrators. Talk to the bully's parents if you can. They may not be aware of the problem.
Document the incidences in any way you can.
See if your daughter can hang out with a buddy elsewhere. Support your daughter and teach her to get away from this girl as fast as possible if she is really going to get violent.
She can stand up for herself, walk with confidence and keep enjoying her life. She has the right to be safe at school and in the neighborhood. |
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leesa
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no dont talk to her parents that will just egg her on more, is it going on at school? if so tell the principal and she will be suspendid but I would talk to a guidance counselor as well, if it is happening out of school definately talk to a ploice officer because threats are against the law and so is harassment but i would recommend u do something soon before your daughter gets seriously injured! |
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Danny
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You need to go to that child's mother and let her know what her child is doing. If it continues.. you will then need to say something to the child. You may feel like you are stepping to their level- but your not. If her own mother wont take care of it-- then you need to do what you have to do to protect your daugher. Your daughter is probably scared, and feels embarassed. I have no doubt that this bully does these things infront of other people-- and that is traumatizing to a young girl. I feel sorry for your daughter, because I know the feeling. So-- please take my advice. Go to the mom- if she is just as ignorant as her daughter-- go to the bully-- and say leave my kid alone. OR_- if you dont want to do that, in fear that your daughter might feel embarrased that her mom is going to the school etc.. Give your daughter the encouragement to face this bully. My mom never did that.. and it always made me fear aggression with other people. I never wanted to fight etc. That is not always a good thing. Sometimes your kids need to know that they can defend themselves-- they will take that with them forever. |
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andy in greece
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I don't know, I live in Europe. But here I would go & see the mother & if I had no luck with her, I would see the School Principal & then the Police.
Too many people around like that.
I bet Milosovich was a bully at school. Now he's dead. ;o) |
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JJ
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Maybe you should talk to the girl parents. |
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DramaGuy
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It depends on how old they are. |
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iss_man03
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I'm a student, so obviously I wouldnt want my parents to do anything that would embarrass me, but you should talk to your daughter, ask her what she thinks is best, then you take action, its all about communication. Make sure you do whats best for you, and your daughter. |
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sarch_uk
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Talk to her and her parents to try and sort out what is happening. Also see if your daughter will take self defence classes. |
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?
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Talk to the school's principal, her teacher, the girl's parents and if all else fails homeschool. |
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Arizona Chick
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Bully's are something I had to just deal with as a kid. Now we see it everywhere kids kill themseleves from what these bullies do to other kids. I am really good friends with my old bully now and we talked about why she hated me and it was shocking to hear why. I started to fail in school and I was put in a Alternative school to finish high school so I had no contact with my bully at all that had helped me out but that was my thinking and I lived in a life that had no internet as well. So you have a very large problem on your hands you have to monoter your childs internet use if you know that this bully is getting at he/her from the internet as well(copy anything so you can show this kids parents). Then you have to figure out a way to cut that part of the bulling off if this all. Even if it takes you to record what this kid is doing so that the parents of this kid knows what is going on then you should do that to. But just like everyone else is saying go to the parents well that can make things worse for your child too. No one wants to think there kid is a bully or be told as well its just something we can never see our kids ever do. Even though this is happening in school you may just need to find something out of school so you can press charges on this child and to open some eyes with the parents as well. It's sad that even as partents we cant help our kids with bullies at all casue it just makes things worse.
Today is Parent Teacher Conferance day for my son and he is in 1st grade. I hope one day I never have to deal with bullies or him being a bully either I know what I would do if I was the parent of the bully and life would suck for my son. I dont ever want things worse for a child with a bully and no one really knows how to deal with one either other then getting the bully away from the school and the internet. Just do one thing get a meeting with the Parents and the Prineciple. That non of the kids know about so this dont get worse and well if the parents of this bully dont think his/her child is doing this stuff to your kid then ask them to make sure from there end but without going to their child watch them really close is all they have to do and with different types of family's we have different types of help needed cause say they cant take off work. This is a problem tha tthe poor, the middle class, and the rich deal with bullies all the time. Its a problem that no one wants to see with our own kids. |
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zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
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Find out more about the context that the bullying is happening in, for sure. Is it at school? Talk through the situations with your daughter and help her come up with creative ways to handle the bullying, focusing on standing up for herself, and maintaining a respect for the rules and decent behavior. If the bullying has been physical, you should certainly seek out the authority figures that are responsible for your daughter in that situation, and if necessary, go to the bully's parents. |
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catcherintherye
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Report to proper authorities. School principal. Police. Parents of the girls. |
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spunky_blonde_nurse
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Call the police...bottom line....nip it in the bud now so that this girl will learn that her actions have negative consequences! |
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beautiful_kolera
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ask for a meeting with the principle and her parents. if not, call the parents. also u must realise that its very hard on a child when he or she is being bullyed..so u better talk to her about it.. rather than just ignoring it or telling her to neglect her..it doesnt always work.. plus some kids r really cruel and don't know when to stop.
Good Luck! |
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raging_michelle
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find out who the girl's parents are, go talk to them and make it clear that if this continues that you will be contacting the police and filing harassment charges...we did this for our neice who was chubby in her teens and got nothing but hate from the bullies at shcool....met with allot of the kids parents and they never knew! They thought that their kid was an angel....it soon subsided and she got through her high school years, even made a few good friends...ones that did the bulling and they helped her to get educated on diet and exercise and she went from a 22w her sophmore year to graduating a size 10! |
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da_tweety_hot_gurl
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Well i'm black so if anybody does that to my child then we is about to fight, because she has to stand up for her self. i mean she cant go being scared do wahts right beat her. |
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tiffany
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I would first politely but curtly ask her to stop but if she didnt i would go to the principle of her school and tell them what is going on. if that doesnt work press charges on her. |
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Ms. A
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I don't know how old your daughter is, but I am a retired high school teacher. It all comes from your daughter knowing what to do. Mama, teacher, principal, authorities...none can fix it. Believe me, kids get around all of them by hook or by crook. Bullies are cowards...thats why they pick on those they think are weaker than themselves.
1. Your daughter or you must first tell the principal, making sure that they have record of the harrassment (there must be a record, so your daughter will be in the "clear").
2. If this is verbal bullying, your daughter must fight back...not necessarily physically, but she has got to stand up for herself. No one can do it for her. If the bully is verbally abusing her, then she must think of some good "come-back" statements that will put the bully in his/her "place". This WILL be done in public because that's how and where bullies operate. Bullies want their friends to laugh and think how clever the bully is at the time. What you want to happen is that the crowd will no longer laugh WITH the bully, but laugh AT the bully. Your daughter should make sure that the bully is not under attack...just receiving what he/she gave.
3. If it becomes physical, make sure that your daughter does not hit first. regardless of the outcome, the one who hits first will be in trouble. When she retaliates physically, all she has to do is show the bully that she will fight back. What ever she does, she must not run. The bully must know that your daughter will fight back. Your daughter will no longer be a "target" for physical bullies. She doesn't have to WIN the fight, she just has to show that she WILL fight. This will only have to occur once if your daughter does it effectively. Bullies don't like targets/victims that hit back. Remember they are cowards! I've seen bullies become best friends with their former victims/targets just because of that.
I know some of you will say that I am too harsh or giving out destructive and harmful advise, but I taught in the same inner-city high school for 24 years, so I know about bullies and how to protect victims.
Hopefully your daughter will never have to get to step 3. A lot of times step 2 will stop the harrassment. But if it continues, its because your daughter is still perceived as a victim or target.
Being a "nerd" in my growing up years, I was a victim. I was fortunate to have a sister that took care of my bullies, so that I could concentrate on my studies. Your daughter may not have a sister or bigger friend, so she will have to do it herself. Remember that any intervention by authorities or you will result in the bullying behavior getting worse...not better. So remember, You Can't Fix it! |
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toyoufrommuah
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you kill her hahahahahahhhaahahahhahaha just playin |
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