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Lord Charles | How to become an evil genius? |
I have decided to become an evil genius. I’m not planning anything sinister – world domination is after all so passé. I’m happy to content myself with untold riches, girls in micro bikinis and small pacific islands…..nothing too ambitious. I do however want a very big weapon that comes out of a volcano.
What is the best way to go about this? What are my chances of getting a business start up grant?
Additional Details
Edson, you have failed to grasp the whole evil genius genre. If and when I want to fly, I will use a private helicopter piloted by a girl in an incredibly small bikini. |
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Roderick B
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First enter Politics. Then make certain that all cameras & microphones are under your control. Do Not make the same mistakes as Blagojovich & 'Bobby the Torch' Torricelli. Keep all recordings in thermite protected safes (5 at a minimum,a chap once kept his in four, they were all stolen on the same night) Always remember to share the wealth with colleagues and keep the evidence,if somebody tries to get you, then your friends have the incentive to come to your assistance. Do Not keep cash in the freezer!
Not Pirianas ,the little blighters are too quick with their food,I recomend spread eagle over fire-ants, with a honey soaked string leading to his treasury. The wee darlings even eat the bones.
M'Lord have done in 34 ants, gilded them, ready to post! (34 x 6 = 204 feet) |
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Lord Percy Fawcette-Smythe.
|
The place you have described is identical in every way of Little Boffington on Sea, except for the following bits.
Its broke
its cold
no girls
no volcano
no bikinis allowed
its in Norfolk
No business enterprise allowance given.
No flying
No booze |
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Lady Felicity Pamper McFud
 |
My dear, you are quite right. Any evil genuis must have WMD worthy of the name emerging from a volcano. The preferable choice is something harnessing the power of the sun, which is usable between the hours of 12 and 2, thus providing anyone wishing to save the world a small window of opportunity for dramatic tension. I can provide some mirrors from my boudoir. Though I would love to pilot you adorned in mini bikini, I'm afraid my amble bosom would not fit, though the exposed flesh might well distract any secret service hero long enough for you to get your huge weapon out. |
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Temporarily incapacitated
|
Is there a vacancy for the Ursula Undress position? I'd like to apply. I am accustomed to fat ***** cats, flesheating pondlife, men with metal teeth (Igor, poor dear, such a nasty accident when swinging from a trapeze) and huge, underground, cavernous dungeons in which weapons are unleashed and horrible punishments inflicted on good-looking, suave, English gentlemen.
Don't worry about the money. Broon's promised to send the bankers for a session or two at my fitness centre if they don't cough up and support new enterprise. |
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Absolute Rotter
|
I can supply the big weapon old boy, the thought of the Rotter missile entering a big volcano would have those girls in micro bikinis getting a touch of the vapours but i'm sure you could deal with that. All I ask for in return is a solid gold yacht (nothing under a 200 footer) Tip top. |
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Stephen Fry
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Well my Lord it would appear to me on cursory glance that Evil Genius requires much in the way of presence that you naturally display in shed loads. However this needs by definition to be an ominous and malevolent presence. Here I worry that your good nature may leak through. To compensate for this I suggest you find a remote and forbidding location to put a fortress from which to launch ones diabolical schemes. However be aware that over the past few decades, the cost of effective villainy has skyrocketed. And you may find external funding somewhat scarce as the only person you will want to describe your evil intentions to in detail will be your Nemesis's. And they will be fixed to some sort of board awaiting theiryour destruction so unlikely to offer much financial support. Also you may struggle with the genius bit, I see you as Quite interesting but a genius? none taken I hope.
. |
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MOLEVOLENT
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Mount Edna is available she's not the most popular because of the remote spot and unappealing caldera seepage but I am sure you could design your costume around lava protection.
It is rumoured Sir Charles that your weapon is so big that it even frightens the horses, so there you are sorted on all fronts. All you need do is simply get a "member only" lift installed throughout the cones shaft bit, to point your weapon and indeed make a point of it. |
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Edson V
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The best way to find out is run off a cliff, if u can fly then you ready. if you cant fly, then you did all of us a big favor and checked out early!!!!!!!! |
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eightieschic
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I think you should consult Oprah. |
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Ruby Jane
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Are you having a dream or a nightmare........ |
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jedimomg
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Talk to Dr.Phineas Waldolf Steel.. the best evil genius around. He may offer some tips |
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iLoveTortas(:
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Do you have an evil laugh down? If not, then you are not ready. If so, just think well about your next move and the rest will beocme simple. |
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