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TNsouthernbelle | About to marry into some credit problems.? |
I may be getting married to someone who has at least 13,000 dollars in credit card debt. His first finace was to blame (or so he says) but the point is, the debt is there. I feel like I'm going to have to suffer to get this paid, off, and suffer in the marriage financially because of this mess of his. He keeps saying that he wants to pay the debt off before we get married, which is understandable, but with the amount of money he makes a month, it's impossible to save up enough. He wants to pay it off all at once. It's a bad situation. He tried to consolidate his debt but the company told him that he didn't make enough money.
Does anyone have any advise for me? How can I help him get out of debt? |
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likepepsi
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He wants to pay it off all at once? What's the point of that? He could be and SHOULD be paying down that debt every month, not trying to save enough money to write one huge check. That's a pretty silly approach to getting out of debt.
If he's committed to getting out of debt, he will develop a budget that allocates an amount every month towards the debt. From that budget, he'll know how long it's going to take to get out of debt. Since you mentioned consolidation, it sounds like he owes a number of companies. He should start with the one with the highest interest rate and put all extra money towards that account while making minimum payments on the others. As soon as he cleans up the first account, reallocate that money towards whichever remaining account has the highest interest rate. Repeat until everything is paid off. He can take a second job (nights and/or weekends) and put that money towards the credit cards in order to get done faster.
Yes, it might be nice if someone would give him a consolidation loan, but the above system is something he can do on his own starting today. I think you'll learn a lot about the type of person he is by how he dedicates himself to this issue.
What is a concern to me is your comment that says his first fiance was to blame "or so he says". You're not convinced he's telling you the truth about the debt. You also know you're going to suffer in the marriage if he brings that debt burden along. These are both huge warning flags, don't you think?
My advice about helping him get out of debt is above; now for the rest of the advice... don't get married until the debt is paid. He may feel that's an unreasonable position, but if that's how you feel, that's your right. If there is no possible way for him to pay it off, and you choose to get married anyway, then make sure you're able to live with that situation. It would make no sense to go ahead with the marriage and then feel miserable about the debt he brought to it. |
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Hoosier Daddy
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The only ways to get out of debt are to pay it or to go through bankruptcy. The only way you can help him materially is to give money to him. However, you can help him survive using his own money on it by being a good companion and partner. |
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brneyesturnblue
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You asked how could you get him out of debt....other than paying for it yourself, I don't think you can. If a consolidation company told him they he didn't make enough money to consolidate that is pretty scary!! I went through something similar, and I did go through a company and I didn't make much money at all! But I did it!
You know it is up to you what you do...but be careful that you don't get sucked in paying his bill and then you two not getting married. |
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Mom26g
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You're right to be worried about marrying into this situation. If he doesn't make enough money to pay off $13,000, then he isn't making enough money, period. What happens if you want to buy a house or have kids some day? Does he have a plan for his life to improve his situation, or is he going to have a low paying job forever? If he is going to school to get a better job, then I wouldn't worry about the debt as much... |
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Pengy
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He does not make enough to handle his debt? Sorry he is not ready for the financial responsibility associated with marriage, and the children that will follow, would hold off on the marriage part or you will end up in dire times in the near future. |
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kennethrieser
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This isn't a question that has a right or wrong answer. Sometthing for you to decide. How much do you really love him? If you truly love him, this shouldn't matter. it is a big decision to think about, but definitely wouldn't do a bankruptcy, as that can long lasting effects. |
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spnkitman
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I would wait until he is out of debt. He could get a second job to make more money. I would also be very careful about mixing your finances once you are married you will be responsible for his debt. You should also check into his spending habits and make sure he is on a budget. |
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Becca, not a Sheeple
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It is hard to get out of debt fast if you do not make enough money to pay a lot per month. That is a lot of money that will grow with interest. You can check out these organizations that can get you a lower interest rate. Debt relief? Make sure they are for real. The only other way is if you won the lottery but that is an expense also. I would suggest you two do nothing , like eating out ,movies etc. Live as cheap as possible, get the debt paid off before marriage. Something like this could cause a real quick divorce. It is stressful to be in debt. If you two make it through this then you might have a chance at a good marriage. |
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Yils
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If he has 13,000 in CC debt how much total debt does he have? It might be a case where bankruptcy might be the best choice, but that is for you and he to decide. If you have enough credit to purchase on your own with out him then do not have any credit relating loans or cards jointly. When you fill your taxes do it seperatly, dont file jointly. That way his debt is his and yours is your, depending on your money situtation. If nothing else work together in helping him get his debt paid off before you rack up more debt. |
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