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Additional Details
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knightmoose2000 | Please help my wife has credit card debt problems? |
My wife has a 13,000 debt in credit card bills. About 5 years ago i helped her pay off a 12,500 debt due to the same thing. Now im in Iraq working my *** off and i have found out that she has been lying to me and is in debt 13,000 all over again, i found out by, you guessed it paying 10 bucks and getting her credit report.. this is destroying me, i have no credit card debt, ive saved 50K in im in the army as an enlisted soldier, and i only have 1 credit card that i pay off all the time, i hate owing money, in fact arguing about money is leading me into wanting a divorce, i cant live like this anymore i have 2 baby girls and they are suffering because of a shop aholic.. this is ridiculous, i can pay the debt off but what good would it do? she needs professional help maybe through tricare,
who can she see to get help withhow she spends and budgets money?im fed up and dont know where else to turn to, i dont see where the money went to, she doesnt have anything its probally all interest..
Additional Details
first she is not a stay at home mom, she has a job she spends all her money plus an entire end of the month pay check of mine, so throw that out the window, its not i left her and didnt give her any income..
next we have seperate accounts because she cant control her spending she was like this back in the 90s and she is still still way today.. she makes good money and still its all gone, she only pays the bare minumum and is slow to pay and misses payments now the intrest rate is over 30 percent on a tab of 10,000 she is paying 600.00 just in intrest alone not even touching the principle, we dont have co-owned credit cards they are all hers in her name not mine if they were in both our names being that im deployed i would have been able to get them down to 6% intrest by federal law due to being deployed...
The money i saved is of my own saving for years, i've given her everything she needs, but now im forced to cut her off because she cant control her spending, she buys junk ...... |
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Studly
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The good part is that you are in a financial position to fix this.
But here is your problem. If you were in a leaky boat, do you spend all your time bailing out the water, or do you plug the darn hole???
You need to sit down with the wife get her to understand that she has a problem. Without this acceptance, you will never fix this problem, and you might as well plan a divorce.
Once she understands that she can't control her budget, find someone who can control your finances. A trusting friend, family member....even if you have to pay someone. They get all the bills and the paychecks, and they budget out everything. You all sit down and make a budget and stick to it.
Otherwise..good luck. |
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bakfanlin
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Kindly take the credit card out of her hand. Cut it into little pieces. Put a stop on your credit so she can't get new credit she may apply for.
Yes, she needs help from someone. I know about marriage counselors... maybe you both could benefit from that. There are also credit counselors.
I can't imagne what she is shopping for! |
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Debi
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First, thank you for the job you do!
Now, to get down to business. You have got to tell your wife that she needs to get out of this debt on her own. She can contact Debt Shield @ 1-888-828-4673. They will set her up on a monthly plan and negotiate payoffs for her with the credit card companies. While she is in this program she must agree to NO credit cards.
During this time, I would suggest that your wife get into counseling for the spending addiction. There are many things that could cause her to have this spending problem.
This is a situation where you don't argue, you just, very firmly, put your foot down! Make her understand that this is absolutely her last chance to get the problem straightened out. Not only get the charges paid off, but also her spending problem straightened out. If she loves you, she should be more than willing to get to work on this problem.
You say you have two baby girls who are suffering because of her problem. But, she may in fact, be spending on the girls. I know I used to. She may also be spending because of her feeling "lost" without you. The spending may be a "pick me up" for depression. Please, try to approach this as an illness and insist that she get help!
I wish you good luck and a safe return home! |
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Bumblebee
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first cut off the cards. pay off the debt. dont let her have anymore, or its divorcetime. Maybe while your working your *** off, shes out partying - thats a money sink. and hate to say it man, ive seen it many many times before in the military. |
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Jamir
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I hope everything works out for you and that you make it home safely.
Many areas have credit counseling agencies that will help you for free. I would check in the phone book to see. They will go through the bills and help set up a budget to pay everything down. Also can help rebuild credit. Your wife will just have to call around.
But ultimately, to fix things, she's going to have to have some counseling to discover why she spends so much money and stop the cycle.
If she is unwilling to get help, then your only course may be divorce before you end up in even worst shape. |
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Look Out
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GLAD YOU SUPPLIED ADDITIONAL DETAILS
Sounds like an addiction.
If she applied for her credit using her own income and credit history, not using yours, wouldn't she be the only one accountable for the bills?
Would filing a legal notice of separation separate your credit from hers?
Does the military have an attorney or advisory panel that could advise you?
Can she file for bankruptcy on her own?
You need some emotional and mental relief. |
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Helen Scott
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Maybe she should see a financial planner who can help her make a budget.
The good news is she's below the average amount that Americans have in CC debt.
And maybe the fact that you had to order her credit report without her knowing should tell you that you may have bigger problems in your relationship than her spending. (not to be rude....I'm going through the same thing myself right now). |
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Linda S
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Your not alone this is happening to many people. I can't tell you to get a divorce but can't you cancel the credit cards?
Is there any way you can refuse to be on an account with her?
This does seem like a load of bull. You are on an account and you can't control things from where you are. I don' know whay tri care is but it sounds like your only hope for her right now. How can you convince her to go to a program when your so far away? best of luck. We helped a family member unbail twice. finally they went bankrupt. I refuse to sign for any thing to help them out again. Best wishes |
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peilthetraveler
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Dont talk about divorce, you said for richer or poorer in your vows.
Thats said, since you are the husband, tell her to give you her credit cards so she cant use them anymore. If she refuses then you also need to call the credit companies and tell them to lower her credit limit and to never raise it without your say so. |
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GG
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wow i can see your side of things. you are working way too hard to have to be dealing with this type of nonsense. are you sure you want a divorce though? she does in fact need help. get her some credit counseling. sounds like she's shopping to substitute you! missing and worrying about you is probably stressing her out and shopping alleviates these feelings. shopping helps me with all my stresses! even though i know debt isnt the answer. it feels like it helps. |
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New snow.to cover the old (UNR)
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Wow!! Women like her really make me angry. Babe...if you get a divorce now...she will never pay the debt, and you too will be liable. Tell her you are thinking on leaving her, and give her a choice, stop or you are out. Maybe if she gets some medication, sounds like she is bi-polar. Even if she gets help, you still can not trust her with credit cards. Let her credit get bad, where she can not get a loan. Do not give her access to any money or accounts. Good luck, and thank you for what you do for our country, sorry you don't have a good woman at home looking out for you and your children. |
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Antonio M
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First everything needs to start where the problems had occur and work your way up to solving your financial problems. Learn the systems on how credit works. I can suggest a web sight on how your wife can start fixing her credit.
http://www.creditrepairrevolution.com
It's a credit repair kit. |
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