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sun day | Sister using us as a co-signer? |
My sister in law is 19 and going to college. Her Mom is trying to get my husband and I to co-sign a loan for her because the parents and all 3 siblings have bad credit. I asked why they can't get financial aid and they said they will only give her 5,000. This loan that we would co-sign would be for 15,000. The Mom is actually telling my husband that we are his sisters only chance to go to school. What would you do? I am pregnant for the first time and we are already have loans out from school, our house and cars. I just don't want to get bad credit and have to take this loan over in the end. Any suggestions or stories that relate? |
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Etta P
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I will give you the advise my mother gave me when my son wanted me to co sign for a car loan for him, if you cant make the payment every month, then dont do it. There is a reason for the bad credit. Just food for thought.
Here is a website that offers some options for obtaining various types of student loans.
Hope this helps and be careful |
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H-townbaby
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OH my GOD do NOT do it! seriously you will regret it. If they all have bad credit its for a reason. They will not pay it when it comes time to pay it trust me. If they won't let them have the money its for a reason. Look she can find help somewhere else there are grants and scholarships she can apply for. Do not let them use the guilt trip on you all, that just makes it much worse. Where is the rest of the $10,000 going to go. They will spend it and then they will not have any money to pay the tuition and then if she doesn't go to school she has to automatically start paying on it, If she quits school. Besides you are pregnant and trust me if you do that you will totally regret it. You will risk your credit, your house, your cars and in the end your relationship and it will all affect your child in the end. How? well, no car, no money, no house..bad life for baby. Do not do it , trust me there are ways to be able to pay for college such as like I said , scholarships and other grants and offer to go with her and help her apply for the financial aid. I bet she does qualify they just want some extra money oh say like $10,000.00. Financial aid only covers tuition and books but heck what more do you need to go to school? Not to mention it will cause problems later on between you and your husband and with the family if they do not want to pay. It is better for them to be upset about it for a little bit about you all not co signing but, they will get over it. Now if you co sign and then they dont pay and ruin your life and credit it will harm the relationships you all had for good. You will not be able to be around each other, knowing they didn't care about your trust and well being, and that they ruin your credit. If they won't let them have the money its for a Good reason remember. |
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Gatsby216
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NO NO NO. Do not co-sign.
Do not get into other details, simply say to all parties, actually you should write a short note and give copies to parties, that you have a mortgage, car payments and with a baby on the way there is no way you can afford to take any additional financial risk. While it is unfortunate that money for college has not been saved up over time, or that the parents have bad credit, there is no way for you to step in and change that situation.
Listen very carefully. If you can afford it simply offer to pay $X of tuition per semester. I would rather just pay $1,000 per year then be on the hook for 15k. You WILL have to pay back the 15k if you co-sign. And worse everyone will lie to you about the loan, then it will charge off, ruin your credit and then you will be sued. Seen it many, many times.
Do the parents have nice cars, a boat, take vacations, maybe they could sell their house and downsize, or the daughter might have to do the community college 2 years then transfer to the bigger school.
I am very very sure there are all sorts of sacrifices that could be made, but the normal course is the take the easy road and ask someone else to take the debt and risk.
Make sure you sit with your husband and get on the same page. Also I am 99.99% sure if you do this, the requests will keep on comming unitil you lose your house and have to file bankruptcy.
a> |
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CrackBerry Addict
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No, you aren't her only chance for school. The burden to send her to school is not yours. It might be that school needs to wait until it can be afforded by her and her family. Or maybe they need to attend a lower-costing school. She might want to take a year off and work, as well as apply for lots of different scholarships. There is lots of free money to be had for colleges out there. She may need to write a lot of essays, but that never killed anyone.
The problem with co-signing is if the main lendee defaults on the loan (which is highly like, and the reason why the lender is requiring a co-signer) then the lender comes after the co-signer for payment. All the while your credit history is being ruined. And if that does happen, you WILL be resentful towards them.
I would calmly and respectfully tell her mother than being a co-signer is not something you all can do. |
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zornundox
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Your sister-in-law needs to grow up and start working for a living and pay her own way. If not, tell her to enlist in the military. I hear they have decent educational benefits. |
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curtisports2
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This is a disaster waiting to happen. Don't do it and don't give in to the guilt-tripping, which is shameful on the mother's part, but not surprising, seeing as how none of them seem to be responsible with money.
You don't recognize the mother as being your mother in law. Why is that? Is your relationship already that bad? Or is it because she is the girl's mother but not your husband's mother, and the girl is a half-sister to your husband? If it's the second, this woman is not going to be the grandmother of your child, so telling her off (nicely) isn't as big a deal.
You need to sit your husband down and have a serious talk with him. You and any children you may have are his number one responsibility. The rest of his family he can support in other ways, but not financially, and if he can't get them to see it without them getting nasty to his family, you specifically, over it, you expect him to support you 100%. That is the sign of a man.
Good luck. Don't co-sign anything that you can't afford to pay all by yourself, because that is what you are agreeing to do when you cosign. |
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Heather
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I think it's totally inappropriate from them to ask, or even hint for you and your husband to cosign. This is not your responsibility. When I got out of highschool I worked for two years to save up the money to go to college. Also, there is no reason why she shouldn't be able to get student loans, unless she has a drug conviction. Even if the parents make a lot of money she should be able to get unsubsidized student loans to cover the cost of tuition, and of course she can work while going to school to cover living expenses. She's an adult and should not be putting pressure on family members to help her out. |
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xbluebellax
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Cruel as it sounds, I would say have the sister-in-law clean up her credit and then go to school. Perhaps you could help her pay off any current debt (as in contribute an arranged percentage that is less than 100) and teach her credit responsibility. Then, once she has learned her lesson and shown that she can handle it, agree to co-sign a loan and write out a private agreement between yourselves. Perhaps saying that she will stilll pick up the tab for the original bill if she defaults and you pick up the interest or the other way around so that she doesn't expect you to bail her out. Giving her a way out may teach her that someone will always be there to catch her if she falls. This is a dangerous thing to learn at a young age because it just is not true. |
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kckid2
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They put you in a box: you are the key to another's ability to get an education. That's not fair to you.
If you co-sign, you tie up some of your credit. If sis defaults, you gottta pay.
There may be reasons to do it, but if I were in your shoes, I would first evaluate the impact on your personal situation. If you can handle it okay, then the next step is to evaluate sis... cause she's the one that has to perform. If she looks at all shaky in that regard, I would pass.
It is the parent's responsibilty to be there for their kid. And if they can't be, well, then perhaps they should be reminded of whatever the reason is that it is not possible now, You aren't the parent. |
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JWalker
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I would not do it... unless you are certain she is responsible enough to not to default on these loans. Now you will not know this until after college of course because most loans are not paid back until then, but it is a risk you take.
As far as her mom tell you that, my brother was the co-signer on four college loans for me and his credit sucks so bad that the Army would not accept him into Officer Candidate school. So, I am not sure where she is getting this information.
I hope her credit history is not as bad as her family's. But, I must say that it takes a lot for someone to become delinquent on a loan and it affect the co-signer. The loan company will do many things to get the money from her first.
Also, I feel that if you are this upset or questionable about it, don't do it. I had no problem turning down a former friend for this same reason. His money management skill were terrible and I frankly told him, "I am sorry but I've known you too long not to trust you." It seems harsh, but I had to do it to get my point across. Best wishes with this one... I am sure it is a bit tougher being family. |
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25531
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I wouldn't co-sign for her. If she is in college with only $5,000 in loans, chances are high that she will default on the car loan leaving you with the bill. It may sound harsh, but you have to watch out for your own new family. |
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