Smilin'Bob_ The Enzyte Guy
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Thats up to you... If you get a 2nd job, then the courts can get even MORE money out of you.
My advice would be that if you have done everything you can to scrimp and save, and you still cant make ends meet, then appeal the judgment. If you can make ends meet, leave well enough alone and dont stir the pot..... |
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YahooGuru2u
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How can two children live on $550 per month? School expenses, clothes, medicines, food, etc. come to, well a lot more than that. What if your kids want to play softball? Are you going to give extra? What if they are in a play, or go on a school outing? What are you going to do with your money if you get to keep it? Is that really more important than the kids? Give more than the court orders. Give it gladly. Give till it hurts and love it, then you won't be a deadbeat. Just my thoughts as a father. |
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Bella
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Consider getting a second job, so you could be able to afford your payments. |
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skeezbucket
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the only way you can be a deadbeat dad is if you dont care for your children. it seems to me that you care for them dearly. maybe you should look for a part time job for a lil bit and see how it goes. but then if you do you might not see your children as much. i'm sure you'll figure it out. good luck! |
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thelucidmonkey
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The real, true, and hard answer is this: make lots more money. Then when she is getting thousands and thousands a month you can afford a lawyer to fix it to a more reasonable number. Use this as motivational opportunity to further your education and work skills to improve your life. Most people I know in this situation will either:
1) fall behind in their payments and lose (depending on the state) their driver's license, hunting/fishing privileges, rack up a huge bill that will collect interest and NEVER go away, and/or go to jail.
OR
2) Step up to the plate to pick a new career and go for it.
I recommend #2 as it simply ends up being far less work and having money beats being broke any day.
Best of luck. |
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UPESKYMO
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I do understand that it is hard to make those payments, but how is the x-wife doing raising those children? What are her expenses. Do you have an idea what it cost to raise those children? In all fairness a person really can not answer that without knowing what the x-wife is living on. Did you ever think of taking on a second job. Maybe part time on the weekends. I know it is hard, but you brought those children into the world, now you have a responsibility to provide for them. If you were still married to this person, you would still have the same problem financially. It won't last forever. Just until they are 18 or graduated from high school. Good luck! |
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jer332005
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If you are making more money now than before.....They will make you pay more no matter what your living expense is....... They look at you as a deadbeat, and they dont care what YOU have to go through or pay..... It sounds fair to someone?? Right?? |
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Kier
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I guess it also depends on the mother and kids. Are they going to be able to live with it lowered some??? Do you know what she uses the money for? I think if you can barely afford to live and they will be fine with it lower, then yes you should ask for it to be lowered. Good Luck! I hope it works out for all invovled!!!
Edited to say: Man alot of the women on here are ruthless!!! I'm a woman and I have a baby and a step-son.
Yes the parent that doesn't have the child needs to help support the child, BUT they shouldn't have to pay for EVERYTHING!!!! When we have my step-son it doesn't cost us ANYTHING extra to support him here. And all the clothes he had are ALL stuff WE bought! |
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mihalis_9999
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Dad?? |
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motherofthree
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Apparently you are in arrears (you're behind in your child support) if they are taking out more than what your monthly order is. Here's a thought...pay your child support every month! Your kids eat everyday, take baths, use electricity, etc. Why should their mother be the only one that has to worry about how this is going to be paid for on a daily basis?
I'm editing due to your additional details...why don't you and their mother get married and live in one house? That would definitely cut down on both of your expenses and eliminate your child support issue all together, wouldn't it.
Before you argue that you don't want to get married or you're not ready to get married or whatever...perhaps you should have thought about that before you had to children. |
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Dee
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I don't consider you a deadbeat if you are willing to pay it, and you can try to appeal it, but think about what the effect will be on your kids. $550 a month for two kids is not much in this day and age. |
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Pepper
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Well its pretty much law to pay what you pay. If I were you I would just bite the bullet and get a part time job to get that money back. You had the children, now you have to face the music man. How important would that money be to you if you had the kids? its your kids man..come on...just be there. |
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Angela S
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I consider a deadbeat dad someone who doesn't pay at all. It is something you can ask, but how are the kids doing? They're well being comes first. Can you get a part-time job? Search for your state's bar association to see if you can ask that question without a charge. |
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mister ed
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if you and your wife is still on good terms i would try to work an off deal until you can get on you feet and than get the back pay caught up!!! |
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fotoguy
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You said you're still with the mother???? Why the hell are you ordered to pay child support if you are still with the mother??
Child support is for people who are no longer together! |
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scottygirl
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Yes because on a day to day basis children cost a fortune and it's not as if you are looking after them full time for free like your kids mother is! Work hard and get a raise and whatever you do, don't have any more kids if you can't afford the ones you have now. $2080 is what you earn per month {$ 13per hour x 40hours = $2080}. Your taxes can't be as high as $580 per month so you have around $1700 minus $550 = about $1150 for yourself. When you are a parent you have to put your kids first so bite the bullet and pay up. |
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boomy haha
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your not a "dead-beat dad" as u describe yourself, i mean if u cant afford it u cant afford it, however your the one who wanted children and now u r responsible for them and there well being so it is ur responsibility to pay...sorry!
=) |
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Mustbe
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This is how I feel:
Both working...still married...she probably still has home....support should be divided up..
Its when a man goes on with his life and has more children and com pains about his first kids that's what I call a dead beat dad. |
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vinny_the_hack
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I find it fascinating how not one single person suggested that your ex- get a second job or consider upgrading her skills or starting a new career. WTF is wrong her lazy azz? I guess it's a lot easier for her lawyer to squeeze the life blood out of her children's father to the point he may be lost forever both as an income source and a father to the kids. There's something wrong with a world where 2% of fathers get custody and 90% pay child support.
Appeal it and appeal to your ex- to try and help, too. |
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x=x*+v*t+(1/2)at^2
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You're only a deadbeat if you refuse to pay. If you pay what is ordered while appealing the amount, you are not a deadbeat. |
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Yinzer from Sixburgh
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If YOU don't pay to support them, who will? ME? I don't think I should have to pay for YOUR children. You made them---you support them. Just how much do you think $550 a month will buy? If you can't make it on 40 hours a week, work some overtime or get a second job. Sorry, but you know, lots of us have to work extra to make ends meet---and that is partly because of US paying for people like YOU.
EDIT: oh, so "you're still with their mother". So in other words, you have two children together, still have a relationship, but have not married so that she can collect welfare and foodstamps and low income housing and wic and free lunches at school, and all the other "perks" of NOT getting married! hmm. Why doesn't this surprise me???
Somehting is wrong with this country.
So, to answer your question: NO. Suck it up and be a man. |
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KITTY44
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First of all no you are not a deadbeat dad! I applaud your efforts and you can try to appeal but it would not work the courts take a certain percentage from what you make. Your best bet would be to #1 move in together to raise your children this way it would cut your living expenses and you would not need to pay child support. You would be surprised at how many couples do this to help each other out. It is even better that you both still see each other. Or #2 get a part-time job!
I am a wife and a mother I saw what my ex-sister in law was capable of doing, if you get a part-time job they can not include that part-time job into the amount you are paying because it is only part-time and you can work as many hrs or as little hrs as you choose. My brother and his ex went through a nasty divorce and his ex took him to the cleaners he didn't contest anything and agreed to pay whatever he needed to for his son. However, he needed to get a part-time job just to keep above water once the (not so nice ex) found out she called the AG's office to tell them he had another job but they could not touch him because it was only part-time there were no set hrs for them to go by. I am not protecting my brother or all men but some men are honest and willing to do the right thing for the sake of there children and it is not fair to call them names or assume they want to get out of paying.
When my husband and myself got married we made an agreement that if we ever split due to just not getting along he would pay the mortgage and help with expenses for the children. If he cheated on me I would take him for all he is worth. We even got it signed by both him/myself and our lawyer it was even notarized kind of like a prenuptual agreement. Just something stating that we would not fight for the sake of our children and we could not bring another person into our childrens lifes I was there only mom and he was there only dad.
Depending what your situation is, depends on the options you have. Sit down and talk with your babies mama you might be surprised at what she has to say!!! |
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sergio d
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I am in the same boat. I have 2 kids also and I pay $ 554 a month. I asked my employer for extra work and they complied. The strange thing is that my ex makes more than me and I thought they would take that in consideration.....hell no. Just hang in there and things will turn out great. |
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whiteboychubs
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You work hard for your money. Most fathers do that are concerned with child support. I believe that children should be your first concern. If the children seem to be getting everything they need, then maybe it wouldn't hurt to ask for something a little more reasonable for you. Especially if your finance problems could cause you to lose your job, vehicle, or anything else that is basically bringing in the money in the first place. Something is always better than nothing. Now, if the children seem to be struggling, maybe you could ask them to lower the child support but still bargain shop for some of the children's needs like pampers, clothes, etc. This way you know they are getting what they need but you're looking for the best prices. |
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Tiffany
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you can appeal, but be sure to provide proof of your income and monthly expenses. It's not that you are trying to get out of paying child support...you are just trying to be able to support yourself as well. You don't seem to be living outside your means, as long as you are sincere and abide by your responsibilities...you should be ok. Talk to your ex...if that is possible. Speak with your lawyer.
After reading the answers you have gotten thus far....it is really sad that an honest, caring father is getting such a raw deal from the people here. No...550 isn't a whole lot, but you aren't the only one supporting the children. You are helping to take care of them. Their mother is responsible as well. you shouldn't have to be the sole support for the children. 550 will buy clothes, food, electricity, water, etc.
You aren't asking to be let out of your responsibilities, just lessened to be able to provide for yourself as well. |
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john p
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No. Appeal away. Why not consider going for custody & have your ex pay you? |
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kind1
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That's fair |
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pplz1st
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i think that you should try to get it lowered so that you can live too and your children won't have to do without you.btw I knew a John Zimmerman and a Monica in a place called Komandorski Village once--friends. |
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Brandon B
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people have problems man i feel you man it wouldnt be wrong at all its hard to live now days |
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christina.lorraine
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I don't think so. Children are expensive yes, but sometimes people are grossly overpaid in child support. Appeal the court showing them your expenses vs. your income. The only thing is most courts don't count some expenses, like a new car payment, or credit card payments etc. Its usually only what you need to live that they include. So you may need to recalculate your expenses to see if you stand a chance. PS - to the others out there I think he stated he pays 550 PER child, thats 1100 a month. I say he deserves an appeal. |
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FaZizzle
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You brought children into this world and you have to pay. Sorry that you have living expenses that exceed your salary, but then you need to cut back.
You are supporting your kids, and I cannot think of a better reason to keep on the child support. No judge is going to have sympathy for anyone who says, "Well, I just can't afford the $250 on top of the cable, the phone, etc." |
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