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Julie | Becoming a stay-at-home wife....tips please....? |
First of all let me start with the fact that we do not have children, just yet. We are working on having kids and currently we both work full-time office jobs. We finally realized the other day that we want me (the wife) to start to stay at home. There are many reasons behind this but I won't go into it now.
I will be working on getting my cake business up and running so that I may provide a second income. We really want this to happen soon because we know that we have been pushing it off for too long. So I am asking for suggestions or tips from others who have experienced this before.
To give you a glimpse of our financial situation: My husband’s finances will cover our bills (if we sell one of our cars) with $50 to spare at the end of the month. In the bills I'm including groceries, gas, etc.
I do plan on working a couple temp jobs, like 5-10 /month to bring in extra cash until the cake business really picks up.
I would really appreciate to hear from everyone! :o) |
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Violet Pearl
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You are my hero, future stay-at-home-mom! And a cake maker, too- I'm so envious! I'm addicted to watching Food Network and "Ace of Cakes."
There are lots of tips and experiences here:
http://www.drlaura.com/sah/sahm.html - general info
http://www.drlaura.com/sah/money.html - money info
http://www.drlaura.com/sah/budget.html - savings info |
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feather girl
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Hi, I have been a stay-at-home wife then mom for almost 10 years. Here are a few things I have learned during this time:
~ Do not become "married" to the house. Meaning, don't let the mundane duties of housework keep you from having a life in the outside world.
~ Make sure to have a clear understanding with your husband as to how the chores will be divided up. Just because he is now the primary bread-winner doesn't excuse him from being responsible for some of the housework. It's his home too! This is especially important once you have kids.
~ Watch your funds. If you haven't all ready, develop a budget and try to stick to it.
~ Plan dinner menus and buy in bulk things you use the most.
~ Take care of yourself! Just because you will be home more doesn't mean you can't wear nice casual clothes. Fix your hair, wear a little make-up. Do nice things for yourself from time to time. It is great for your self-esteem and will help you feel more in control.
~ Develop a schedule for housework. Be flexible with it.
~ Be thankful you have been given this wonderful opportunity. So many women are unable to stay home, so for them, enjoy it!
~ Make friends with other stay-at-homers. It is good to have the support of others who are in the same situation.
I hope these suggestions help! Best of luck in developing your business. |
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kristiebozo
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First of all remember to keep yourself up as you would if you were going out in the real world. Stay pretty for yourself and your husband it will help your self esteem greatly. Also keep involved with alot of people to fight the blues. Remember that you want to volunteer because helping others once in a while is good thing. |
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Privratnik
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It's a great idea if that's what you want!
You're just going to have to be especially disciplined. Establish regular work hours for yourself and a list of tasks each day. You don't want to get sucked into the T.V., which is very easy to do.
Also, be sure to give yourself SOME sort of social outlet at least once or twice a week. Church or volunteer work are just a couple of ideas. You'll get depressed if you're stuck at home ALL the time! |
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bill m
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Sounds like you need to keep your real job at least till you can have more than 50 bucks at the end of the month. Especially if you plan on having kids. |
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smith_marcy_rose
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I am a stay at home wife although I have 2 children, I love it. It is a lot easier to have one spouse stay at home to keep up on all the household duties and to cook dinner. I think that is a great idea and if I were you I would do it. |
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zara01
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Sell the car, watch your spending, and enjoy. You seem to have a pretty good handle on things already. Good luck with your biz! |
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zoey26
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I'm not sure I understand the question.
Without knowing the reasons behind your transformation into "home house wife", it's hard to say if this is a positive change or not.
It sounds like as a couple, you'd be financially strapped, and as an individual, you'd be flat broke.
Getting your own business off the ground takes time (which you obviously know), but it also takes money. Would a part time job supply a sufficient amount of "you" money?
But, again, it's difficult to pinpoint what you're looking for without knowing the situations preempting this change.
Good luck to you! |
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chefgrille
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It's OK to spend maybe a week appreciating not working. But then don't sleep in, don't walk around the house in your PJ's, you'll be in charge of the house, planning dinner, cleaning, all while spending some time planning the new business (congrats!)
Aside from maybe the morning news, don't be around the TV. Find a routine. Like do the dishes in the morning so you have them to cook. Do your errands and store runs in the morning. Get everything out of the way first. Start prepping dinner (crockpots are great) or just chop stuff and put in the fridge. Then you have the afternoon to concentrate on building the business.
I'm a stay-at-home wife, and it's more work than you think. I have my own business (landlord) and that doesn't take as much time as having to bake all day!
Best wishes, and stay organized! |
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Emilia D
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Wow.. this question sounds like it was made for me...
You're very lucky to have a situation such as this to build a business on. You're guy bringing in the main income, and you slowly building your business. I have had the same thing for 6 years. The most important thing is that you are able to both survive even if you don't bring in a dime. That may mean, hold off on your business a sec. or children until you save a little money. I am a fashion designer and have been trying to start my own line for 6 years now. Much like you, I started with the idea to work part time until my business gets off the ground. The problem is that I do need even part- time income for now just to survive. Unfortunately some times that becomes what holds you back. If you're going to start a business, you need to give it 110% in order for it to flourish. I have a 4 year old daughter and freelance to bring in some of the work... between the two, the business has taken the back burner only doing well when freelancing is not, but then there's no money for the business when the freelancing is not doing well. So the day you decide to start your business, be sure that it is your only focus at the beginning in order for it to have a chance. The first two years of a child's life are the most time consuming for you. That in its self is full time job... think of working part- time and a business on top of it all. I'm not saying it's impossible, but hearing your question now and the advise that I am able to give you will help you in the long run. Figure out how much your family needs for the year. If your husband makes $40,000 a year and you need 45,00-50,000 to survive ($50 to spare a month is not enough- you can spend that on 1 dinner out) Put$5,0000-10,000 away in an account... what ever extra amount you may need over the course of 6-12 months. This will help avoid stress, arguments etc..., it will give you the ability to work full time at home on your business and you will be ahead of the game. I'm not saying to not start at all, but the minute you decide to actually stay home from an external job, this will help you immensely. |
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chris
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The first thing I would do is set a date for the goal to become a reality. But not this very minute! If your husband's income will cover your life together, start today to live on his income only. Put every penny you make away in a savings account. Do this for a fixed period. It will accomlish two things 1) you will know exactly how his income provides for you - on paper it isn't always correct - and -2) you will have a nice nestegg to fall back on for emergencies and to get your business started--say in 6 months or so. |
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chrys w
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find your hobby that your good at, pinch pennies, maybe your hobby can turn into cash. ie: the woman who invented her own diaper rash cream, she makes bank. |
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survival_paul
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I think you'll do fine, we just had a daughter 5 weeks ago and like you have about 50 left each month. My wife left work about 18 months ago to return to college and it was a struggle for a while until we got used to it. My best advice would be to do your budget as you have done. make sure you include the not so often expenses, car insurance, service, car tax, heating oil. These are what caught us out. We put the money for each weekly into an account we dont touch until these bills come round. say 7 for insurance 3.50 for service 8.50 for heating oil. It doesn't seem like much but a 600 bill can really throw you for socks when you are just wasting the extra change in your pocket. Best of luck with the cake business. Try wedding forums to advertise your wares. You should be able to start selling cakes right away. Take pictures of them when you make them to show prospective clients. |
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BOOTS!
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your lucky to be able to do that. I would say don't over do your self. You may feel bad that your Husband is working and your not so you might want to over do it to justify! Once you have kids it will be harder. I recommend having more than $50 a month left over before you start baby making! Best luck |
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Captain Trips
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Don't become a soap opera watching fat slob. |
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