Do u think i can pay off $45000 in loans and debit, i am 29 years old. i make about 85k a year?

Don't worry about other people judging you. Your income and debt has nothing to do with you being irresponsible. The fact that you are trying to do something about it, that to me shows absolute responsibility. As a formal financial counselor, I've seen much worse debt so don't worry. The good thing is that you have several options available to you and you have to weigh the pro's and con's of each in order to choose the one that best fits your situation. In my opinion your options are:

1) Paying off your creditors on your own directly through the lenders.
2) Paying off the creditors by transferring debt to low interest accounts.
3) Contacting a debt counselor in order to arrange a plan of action for paying down your debt over the next 4-5 years.

An explanation of the pro's and con's of each of the above:

I. Paying off your creditors on your own directly through your lenders: Obviously you're doing pretty well with your salary. Even with high interest on credit cards, you should be able to pay a bit above minimum payments. This route, would take the longest time, and even if you were making a larger payment, the interest would consume a large percentage of it. You could always contact your current lenders to try to have your APR reduced, this takes some persistence, and even then it is not guaranteed that they will do it. However, your credit report would fare the best of the three options, because your balances would slowly be decreasing and your payment history would be increasing. These two factors alone make up roughly 65% of your credit score.

II. Paying off the creditors by transferring debt to low interest accounts: This method would involve applying for low APR credit cards, transferring your debt to the new accounts and closing your old accounts. This method can be tricky, because many times when your debt-to-income ratio is not in your favor (ex. you have more debt than your income can support), you may not be approved for a new credit card and your credit score may dip a bit as lenders are inquiring into your credit for approval. Also, if you do get approved for a new credit card, you transfer the balances, and close the old accounts, you are pretty much reducing 15% of your credit score which is due to account age. In other words you generally want to keep your older accounts and close your newer accounts. As far as time, you would be making greater progress because your APR should be much less on the transfers, allowing more of your monthly payment to go to the principal instead of interest. Again, this takes a fine balancing act as you don't want to overextend yourself too much and be tempted to keep everything open with a potential to get into more debt.

III. Contacting a debt counselor in order to arrange a plan of action for paying down your debt over the next 4-5 years: Debt management programs have come a long way since they first were developed. More and more creditors are accepting this method as a true form of debt reduction and repayment. Basically here's how the system works:

1) You have lots of high interest debt. Perhaps the high interest rates are making it very difficult for you to make any progress. So what do you do?
2) You call a credit couneling company. I can't speak for all companies, but the ones interested in the consumers show care and compassion because they understand you are in a difficult situation. This is sometimes all someone needs. Someone to just listen to, but if the counselor finds that a debt consolidation WILL help, then they will walk you step by step through the program. Okay so you qualify now what?
3) You enroll your high interest debt into the program and the company will begin contacting your creditors to negotiate lower interest rates on most of your accounts. This is a tremendous help because interest consumes most of your monthly payment anyways. Another important thing that you have to remember is that the creditors also CLOSE your accounts. This is to further help you along in paying off your debts. But what do you have to do?
4) You stay in contact with your consolidation company and creditors. But you only make ONE payment to the consolidation company, who in turn forward it to your creditors. Then what?
5) Sit back and watch your debt slowly disappear! Regardless of the debt, it typically takes a person 4-5 years to pay off your debt. As each account is paid off, your payment is then redistributed among the remaining accounts. It's a snowballing effect, where the payments to your creditors get larger as each account is paid off.

In choosing a company you also want to look for these things:

1) A company who is genuinely trying to help consumers: A company who is looking for the consumer's best interests will not only counsel you, but they may take you through a budget, analyze your situation, provide free financial material, etc. In other words they don't just try to enroll you. You should never feel pressured.
2) A company who is non-profit, certified, and has a good track record with the BBB. A company who is non-profit may ask for a donation but it is purely voluntary. All your payments should go to your creditors. Also there are regulation agencies in place to weed out the "shady" companies, so you should make sure they are certified and a responsible member of the BBB.
3) A company that answers all your questions and whose counselors are also certified. You probably have lots of questions, but a caring and knowledgable counselor will walk you through step by step, and explain thoroughly every step of the process and its affects on your credit.

The reason I am a big fan of this method is because I myself am on a debt management program and I was once a financial counselor myself! My overall experience is a smooth one and it probably has something to do with the fact that I saw how the DMP (debt management program) worked behind the scenes. As far as my debt goes, in about 18 months, I have gone from $14000 debt, to about $8500. That's a big leap for me, and it's only going to get better as the payments get larger when accounts begin to close. It's a great system and more people need to take advantage of the great opportunity creditors have given consumers through the DMP. My credit score wasn't bad to begin with but it has increased from 695 to 723.

So if you are interested in the company I worked for, it is http://www.incharge.org . It is based in Orlando and has a great relationship with the Defense Department, who regularly refers its soldiers to the company for financial counseling. If you are interested in the company I have an account with, it is http://www.careonecredit.org/ . Both of these companies are registered with the BBB and have outstanding reputations.

The DMP does have some drawbacks also:
1) You can't apply for new credit or loans while on the program. In other words don't even think about getting a new car or buying a new house while on the program. It will be very difficult to get approved because of your "credit counseling" status.
2) All your credit accounts are closed. You may be allowed to keep one emergency account but overall if you ever needed to make a large purchase, and you're used to using your credit cards, they won't be there to save your day anymore! At least not while you're on the program.

So I know this may be alot of information to process. The important things is you keep an open mind to all your options and stay patient, as paying down debt that has interest attached to it can take years to pay back. I admire the fact that you want to instead of ignoring it. Whatever you choose, just make sure you act today because the sooner you get started the faster you will become debt free! Good luck with your adventure.