Thundercat
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How about something different than the rest of the herd...
Your situation is just as you want it. You were the one to submit the forms to your job to have the money put into his account. You were the one to decide to live with him instead of on your own. You sound like so many women who have no sense of self identity but rely on their boyfriend's/husband's identity to determine their own self-worth. You did not lose your independence, you willingly SURRENDERED it to him. He is only controlling inasmuch as you are letting him. If you were to have your own apt. and pay for everything (rent, utilities, food, clothes, transportation), you would definitely not have $50/week of "free money." You'd be in debt. Be happy you don't have to worry about the day-to-day woes of bill paying and still have some money in your pocket. |
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joni_usa
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not only do i say no, but HELL NO!!! you are digging a giant hole girlfriend. What part of independence says give him all your money... I'm not saying don't pull your weight or pay your share, but you should put a little in savings for your future even if its $20 a month, believe me after a time it grows into good money. Don't give up control of your earnings... |
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Brian N
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When the money is put in his bank it's not yours, it's his. Plain and simple don't do it. I don't care how nice he is or that he's good at paying bills on time or whatever other complacent excuses there are, it's a very bad idea to give away your money and let him siphon off a tiny trickle to you. |
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dancelover
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Why would you in the first place agree to put your paycheck into his bank account? Is it because you do not know how to manage your money? If so get help, then talk to your bf about putting the money into the joint account. However I know it will not be easy, He might blow his top but keep this in mind the money belongs to you. You had every right. So good luck!! |
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khender
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You should not be putting your paychecks into his bank account. You don't need any other reason than you feel like you have lost your independence, but there are plenty of additional reasons why you should maintain your own finances. If the two of you are saving up for a big purchase of some sort, you should set up a shared account so that each of you can put a percentage of your paycheck into that account each month, but BOTH of you have your names on the account.
By putting your paychecks into his account, you are setting yourself up for a very bad situation if your relationship ends. I have had many friends who have fallen on very bad financial times because they either let their boyfriend manage their finances or they let their boyfriend's financial needs come before their own.
Check out this article: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/1923080.stm |
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wineboy
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Wait, what? You're kidding right?
You get to keep $200 out of $1,200. Wait, what? You're kidding right? |
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demonic angel
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NO!
WHY DON'T YOU HAVE YOUR OWN ACCOUNT? WHAT IF YOU BREAK UP.....HE HAS ALL YOUR MONEY! |
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tikitiki
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Well, that depends I guess. Are you planning on getting married? I definitely wouldn't like that "allowance" thing going on.
Little story, my ex boyfriend and I had a joint account. Mutual bills were paid, each took money as needed. I ended up getting my own account, he was going through a nasty divorce, didn't want the court to end up taking any of my money out of the joint account for child support purposes-weren't my kids. So I opened another account to deposit all my checks. Long story short, when we ended up breaking up, he decided all the mutually purchased furniture etc was his, so he moved it out when I wasn't home. But, the idiot didn't realize, I had the access to the joint account online(still had my name on it) and one click-online transfer of all his money from the joint account to my personal account-not illegal both accounts had my name on them.
This guy sounds kind of controlling, and that's how a lot of men (and women I suppose) control women. I would suggest getting your own account, and being more like a room mate situation till he can get over his controlling complex. Just to cover yourself so you don't get screwed and left with nothing. Just my opinion from my own experiences. I would suggest getting your own account, write him checks for 1/2 the bills. Maybe get a joint account for savings, and each put equal $ into it and document what you put in. |
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reallyno
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ummm, no. Your paycheck your bank. There should be a house fund where both parties put money in for household expenses. It's your money why should you have to have an allowance? Pay your fair shair and leave the rest for yourself. You should also be putting money aside for retirement and emergency funds. With out being married your out of luck should anything happen to him. |
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NirmalJain
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STOP PLAYING FOOL. put all your money in ur & only ur a/c. split the bills and pay ur share. |
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?
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I wouldn't put my money in his account. When he kicks you to the curb, he'll keep all the money & you'd have no way of proving it was yours |
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Adios
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You have lost your independence. Open your own account and put some in your account and some to the boyfriend for your portion of the household expenses. If you're mature enough to be working and living with the boyfriend you're too old to be getting an allowance. |
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Mimi T
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That is a very dangerous thing to do if you aren't married. You don't have any legal recourse. I would open my own account and then split the bills evenly. If he wants to pay the bills, great, you just write him a check for your portion.
I'm married and still maintain my own checking account. What if something happened and I needed my own money.
You have lost a big bit of your independence, now go get it back! |
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kirunkmir
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NOOOOOOOOOOOOO |
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sweettoni37
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You have your own job, You make your own money, You should have your own bank account, This is for your well being, This you guys are not married and you are not a child so what is with an allowance? PLEASE I hate hearing/seeing things such as what you are dealing with. This is all about control If you don't believe me just tell your boyfriend you are going to open up your own account in your name only because you guys are not married, And see want he GET MAD. I don't know how old you are but If anybody needs to put money in anybodies account it should be HE in YOURS. Now if you are not able to for some credit issues able to open up an account in your name then Have someone who would like to help you out open up an account in your name, This is not at all safe or good for you to have your money going into his account. You ask so I am telling you what is BEST FOR YOU. Please I know that you LOVE your boyfriend but EVERY PERSON young/old person who are not MARRIED even if you live w/him 100 years YOU SHOULD HAVE YOUR OWN BANK ACCOUNT IN YOUR NAME ONLY. I hope everything WORKS out for you but you really need to GET YOUR MONEY AND PLACE INTO YOUR OWN ACCOUNT. |
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mark2zephyr
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My advise is set up a joint account to which you contribute equally. You are right you have lost your independence, but if you have a good solid relationship, both of you should be able to alter the plan... |
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Imagine4ever
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What everyone is telling you (incl. myself) : "Take control of your finance."
YOUR next pay check goes into YOUR bank account, as it is YOUR money.
And YOU can write him a check for cost and living. YOU need to manage YOUR own earned money.
Get your independence back! |
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♥cinnamonmj♥
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Set up a bank account of your own and put some into that along with the joint account. How dare he GIVE you an allowance of $50.00 when it's your money!!!!!!!!!! My ex-husband did that to me, that's why he's my ex. |
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cork
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DO FROGS HAVE WINGS???????????????? |
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NONAME
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You are a moron! |
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papsmearsurprise
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You can put them into mine if you'd prefer... |
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