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ADAM S | I have just found out my wife has ran up over 65,000 in debts? |
she cannot get an iva as three of the debts are joint i do pay her my share but she is finding it increasingly difficult to pay her bill we both work and as she is paid one day she is in debt the next with her going over her agrred overdraft and having diredct debits returned to the tune of 50.00 a time then 150.00 amonth for going over we both work to pay bills mine are managable as i only spend what i have got but my wife if she has a spare penny which is rarley she spends it on anyone it seems to cheer her up i have sreamed at her shouted to no avail now she seems to be so depressed i think the debt is getting to her she has told me she would go bankcrupt but she cannot afford it she has got phones out in her name for her family who are running up 700.00 bills and not paying her for it so because it is paid by direct debit she pays for it which leaves her with nothing evey month please can you help me help her |
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Caoimhin
 |
You could start by advising (not dictating to her) to cancel the direct debits on her familiy's phones. Put quite simply if they cannot afford to pay the bills that accrue then they should not have the phones. The money saved could be used to offset other debts. £700.00 I assume is a substantial amount of money which could be saved and diverted more usefully elsewhere.
Whatever you do, or your wife does, neither of you can afford to sweep the issue under the carpet. It will not go away. Debt is an insidious and horrible thing which can only get worse as time goes on. It just cannot be ignored.
Advise your wife to contact the creditors and make some arrangement.
Immediate action is required otherwise your creditors will initiate bankruptcy against you both.
Remember that with joint debts you are both liable, so whilst you as an individual may be ale to manage your share, any default by your wife will affect you equally. For both your sakes PLEASE do something now.
Good luck.
EDIT
By the time you receive/read this you will have received a lot of replies most of which will be helpful. Extract from all the best advice and act on it. |
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Nick B
 |
1 report phones stolen and get them cut off. Cancel direct debits
2 Go to CAB. You may both have to do an IVA as if she defaults on the joint debts you have to clear them anyway.
3 As you are married your financial situation will impact each other.
4. If she informs a credit card issuer that she cannot pay, if you have a card with the same bank, you will find it cancelled too.
Every day you leave it is a day the problems are getting bigger.
going bankrupt may be her / your only choice. If she goes bankrupt the joint debts will become your debts alone. Can you afford them without her contributing?
Phone the Citizens advice bureau and make an appointment now or visit the debt-line website and get their info pack. They are a registered charity and will not try and sell you anything. |
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stevexnelson
|
I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I wish there was something I could do to help. Your wife sounds a lot like some of my relatives.
She may have to file for bankruptcy if she is drowing in debt. This may be her only option. It's not the end of the world.
Never allow any company to directly take money out of your account. This gives them way too much power.
Good luck. |
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PhatCat
 |
Um
1. Tell her stop paying the telephone for her family.
2. Tell her to get a second, or perhaps third job
3. Tell her to get some common sense
4. If you are willing to continue putting up with this, you need to check whether or not you need some common sense. |
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bunya nuts
|
cut the phones off for starters and get her family to start paying. Take all cards off her until she grows up and learns to manage money. Give her a weekly amount in cash and let her know that's all!!!! Remove all possible ways for her to spend money and seek help both in couple counselling and financial . $65 000 is alot of money |
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richard t
|
your wife has a spending problem.....see a doc about her compulsive behavior,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,close the account with the debit card attached to it.....................shouting will not help...............there are those groups like AA for her..............
good luck........... |
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hanora
|
Your wife needs counselling. It doesn't sound like she has a spending problem so much as a trying to buy approval problem.
The easy one is to get rid of the phones. Just call the companies and tell them that the phones were left in a taxi or lost at a theater. You will still have to pay the minimum but not all the extras for the term of the contract.
All credit cards go, debit too and no checks. She runs strictly on cash and by the day. Minimum amount for transportation and she takes her lunch. If you have a second car that isn't absolutely, and I do mean absolutely necessary - sell it.
Pare every possible expense, no cable TV, no eating out, no movies, no clothes shopping other than socks and underwear (just can't find those at Goodwill). No gifts that aren't handmade from things around the house
If she's bought stuff, see if any of it can be sold. Of course you will only get a faction of what was paid, but that's a good lesson in the worthlessness of most "stuff".
65,000 is a lot of money but if you work together and really tighten your belts it can be paid off in a few years - the effects of bankruptcy will last longer than that.
If she won't agree to such tactics or if you are unwilling to sacrifice with her, consider if you want to continue in this marriage. Without intervention she is unlikely to make a significant change in her destructive habits. Is this the way you want to spend the rest of your life, is this the way you want your children to be raised?
Good luck |
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Bilge
|
This is a very bad situation. Clearly your wife cannot handle money so she is probably a psychopath thus it follows she will be giving you a hard time at home anyway!
The only advise I could offer is that you are going to HAVE to bite the bullet sooner than later and declare yourselves, that is BOTH of you, bankrupt. If you don't do it NOW then it will be done for you by the creditors. Probably sooner than later too. By doing it NOW it is certain whatever problems there are will be more manageable than those arising in a few months (years?) time. It means you will have some minor control over events. Leaving the problem to fester is NOT an option for YOU! |
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tom_gpp
 |
Bankruptcy very well be her only option. First, she needs to cut the damn phones off! I would speak to a bankruptcy attorney right away! After that you need to figure out what it is that is causing the exorbitant spending and cut the root out of that ASAP! |
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jhs80123
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I think you might be enabling her behavior. Perhaps you should both see a therapist |
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happy
|
Adam you and your wife need to go bankrupt. As once you have done this your wife will be unable to run up any further debt then you need to get her some help go to your gp and the cab for advice - good luck. |
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Miss De Vill
|
She is as irresponsible as they come. Even if you divorced her, I think you'd still have to pay her debt. With the economy so bad, I don't know, get some bankruptcy lawyer or leave the country. |
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*Jiiize*
|
god!
My wallet nearly had a stroke there!
I would suggest to run away from such spender but...you are married maybe you'll be liable!
Yes she should definitely stop spending, thats the only way to start! Then its another story!
How? no idea, its you the hubby who knows her! |
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G.V.
|
First off cut off those phones for family members. Then get some counseling for your wife...she is a compulsive spender with no self-control.
Avoid bankruptcy as much as you can. The following are good resources:
National Foundation for Credit Counseling
(800) 388-2227
www.nfcc.org
Also known as Consumer Credit Counseling Service (CCCS)
Based on your area code, your phone call will automatically be plugged into the NFCC office nearest you.
Debtors Anonymous
Debtors Anonymous General Services
P.O. Box 920888
Needham, MA 02492-0009
Debtors Anonymous is a 12 step spiritual self-help fellowship, modeled upon Alcoholics Anonymous. For information about the DA program and groups in your area, contact the General Service Office, 781-453-2743 (all calls are confidential) or www.debtorsanonymous.org. |
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sincitybud
|
yes go to the indian casino she is losing all your money at and put her on the problem gambling list so they will make her leave and not gamble there when they see her. or you can get a second job so your credit doesnt go to the slot machine your wife is losing all her $$$$ at. or break all her crack pipes. |
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Lady B
 |
DIVORCE !!!!
Na only joking, Sh1t thats bad. Dunno how you can help her. |
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kritkratt87
|
wow that sucks |
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chinrasu
|
Yes. you are through a very difficult situation. I don't think any outsider's advice is going to help you come out of the predicament. God bless you. |
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Andrew^
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Are u christian? if yes, then go to Church ask advise for pastor. He knows the answer and will give the best advice. |
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