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Additional Details
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Which is better?
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Figuring things out... | I just found out my boyfriend is in HUGE debt, what do to?? |
Well, I just signed a lease with my boyfriend and we moved in together this past August. I trusted him and believed that he could afford the place we moved into…well, since we’ve moved he’s had 3 creditors call for money. I looked at his credit report (which he is now mad at me for doing, because I didn’t ask) and I found out that he has close to $20,000 in credit card debt!! Just credit cards!! He says it is all from his previous marriage, and I believe him……but now it is 6 years later and people want their money!! He had all the cards in his name, NOT his wifes, and their divorce was messy and he just signed off that she would get all assets, and he got all the debt. I guess he just thought if he ignored it long enough it would just go away….but it hasn’t and now it will most likely keep him from pitching in for rent and utilities, and then I will get EVICTED!! I really do love him and I know he means well, but he is so bad with money!!
Additional Details
Nobody showed him how to deal with it, or told him the laws on things and how things have to be done…he is just so clueless!! I am trying to teach him what his parents SHOULD HAVE taught him, but it is hard….especially when I might get evicted….I have perfect credit and have NEVER had a late payment or any bills really to speak of. How can I help him get rid of this debt (aside from paying it off myself)?? And is he really justified in being mad at ME for looking at his credit report?? I am watching BOTH of our backs, and trying to help him, protect myself and get him back on track!!! |
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Debt Advice
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settle the accounts for less than half of what is owed and move on. you can use a service like http://www.fdnsolutions.com or http://www.1800debtsettlement.com
they should be able to help with a payment plan in order to pay off about half of what you owe.
let me know if you need any other advice |
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seerofdreams
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Eventually creditors will either write-off the debt or will sue him for their money. Courts will eventually require him to submit a financial affidavit describing his income vs. monthly expenses and other debts he still owes. The court will then offer a settlement that both sides can live with. The court will never make him pay so much that he's left out on the street. |
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t b
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Get a prenup if you marry him. Get him a bugeting for dummies book. tell him to file for BK otherwise tell him start payin on the debt. |
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Andreas
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Myth #1 - debt goes away in 7 years if you ignore it. Wrong. Unless debts are paid off or discharged in a bankruptcy proceeding, they never go away. What most people believe about the statute of limitations making debts noncollectable is only partially correct. The ability to sue in court and get an enforceable judgment has a specified length of time. However, an unpaid bill that has not been legally discharged remains fair game for collectors until the end of time and can even start the clock all over again if acknowledged in writing or if the smallest payment is ever made on the debt.
If your boyfriend can't afford a payment plan, it would probably be best to talk to a bankruptcy attorney and get out from under the right way. |
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The Man
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Find the nearest curb and kick him to it.
set priorities with your money, pay the rent and utilities first, buy the food you need and any transportation expenses. If you have any money left, pay on the credit cards. The worst thing they'll do is harrass you. You don't have any money so it doesn't make sense for them to sue you. |
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Amanda H
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1) There is a statute of limitations on collecting debt, usually 7 years for most states. After that they can't collect-- unless he's been paying them nickels and dimes and then it stays 'current.'
2) Have him call each credit card company and negotiate for lower rates, dropped penalty fees, and lower payments. He needs to find out what the smallest amount he can get away with for each one.
3) BUDGET. Find out exactly how much income he has and how much expenses. IN BLACK AND WHITE. Tell him that this is his time to come clean with absolutely everything, that you wont get mad if he lays it all on the table now-- but will later if he covers up anything else. Jsut becuase its not on his report doesn't mean that he doesn't owe even more than you know about.
Now, figure out what his income vs. expenses are. Is he able to cover his own expenses or are you going to have to help him? This is going to be the time when you weigh your options. If you truly love him and want to be with him, then you may have to pay for his mistakes. See if he can't add you as an authorized person for his checking account (NOT ON HIS CREDIT CARDS THOUGH!! IF he adds you as an authorized user on his credit cards, they'll be reported to your report, and you dont want that.) and YOU be the person that opens the mail and pays the bills. He's proven he can't be responsible so he needs to be willing to turn it all over if he cares for you and wants your relationship to be successful. You may have to give him a cash allowance each week and use the rest of his money for his bills. HE created the mess so its not fair if he gets fussy over this.
He has to be willing to cut out the luxuries in life and comitt to getting out of debt. The #1 reason for divorce is finances! |
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ladyrebel
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Well Honey, sounds like he does need help he also needs support. If you truly love him get him help with the money matters. You might have to start handleing the money. Good luck. |
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mary57whalen
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School of hard knocks might be only way. Stop enabling him. Or do you plan to dig a ditch for two? |
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Watchman
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You should have noticed how cheap he was on your dates before moving in with him. Your credit is okay until you break the lease. If you marry him you'll probably inherit his bad credit. |
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CHAEI
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I was wrong of him to not tell you about this Because this could effect your credit. He needs to get a grip on this debt now. There are places he can go and they will help him get his credit straightened out where he can afford the payments. As for doing any thing together that involves both to sign Don't do it. Not until he gets his mess cleaned up. Sorry to say this but buy him ignoring this problem shows how immature and irresponsible he is when it comes to money and bills because he knew the bills need to be paid he did not care. And i am sure you relize this also. |
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LINDA G
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Ding,ding, ding! Get out and find someone with some integrity. You deserve better and you don't need his baggage. |
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blackstar1
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Honey...no he is not justified for being mad at you,obviously, he was never going to tell you...that's why he's mad. if you are in a relationship, espiecially living together, these things should be shared. As an adult, the responsibility lies on him, not on his parents. Sounds like he has been careless in the past no matter how much of a "good person" he seems to be. My advice....do not marry him!!!! his burdens will become your own and it will hold you back from achieving. the creditors arent going anywhere!!! It may seem selfish, but in order for you to not get evicted....don't rely on him financially....and If you can't do that at lease in the slightest...you don't need him.put him out. sometimes love hurts...........look out for yourself!!!!!!!!
be smart...& best wishes. |
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gypsy
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depending on how old he is he should know better ( or at least have learned something in the past 6 years) you are never going to have a future with someone who is so in debt to start with. dont pay it off for him as you will end up in a hole yourself. set him an appointment at a bankruptcy lawyer and hope they can get his balance knocked down to where he only has to pay a percentage of his debt. hopefully he will have learnt his lesson, he shouldnt be mad at you he should be grateful he has you |
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