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soccermom | Is arguing over money worth divorce? |
We are losing our house to foreclosure because my husband wants everything all at once.He wants new cars and the best of everything.I save money for a rainy I buy stuff on sale have the same car I bought with cash I saved and worry about family over money.can we work things out or is it a lost cause?
thanks in advance.
Additional Details
we have been married 12 years with 3 kids. |
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Betty R
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my husband an i argue over money all the time men will be men they have to have the best of everything. what i do is make sure i have a place to live and a car to drive and money in the bank and let him do what he wants. if the house is in both your names u might be in trouble but if not then just ignore him let him see how it feels to have nothing then maybe he will come to his senses if not then divorce him and move on. good luck |
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Butterfly Lover
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This is an issue you probably should have discussed and resolved before you got married. However, if you love each other, get a good counselor and try to work it out. |
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kelly
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you need to go to professional counseling as together as a couple and indepently. |
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STEVEN F
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NEWS FLASH: You are NOT arguing over money. You are arguing over your basic approach to LIFE.
Money is only the VISIBLE symptom. You MAY be able to work things out, and I would ALWAYS recommend that if possible. In order to do that, you must start by correctly identifying the issues. |
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Andy S
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Well, money ( lack thereof) is one of the top relationship breakers. Unfortunately, your husband has different money values than you do...would he consider a counselor? One for marriage and another for budgeting. I'm sorry you're in this spot. Good luck to you. |
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Michelle
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If you love him you guys need to work together and compromise. Divorce is no answer, you need to live within your means. He sounds really materialistic, he must be very young. Men do mature as they get older so there is hope.
Best of luck |
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chocoholic!
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Money issues are not worth divorcing over. If you love each other you can work it out. You may need help (marriage guidance or counselling) but give it a go. My husband & I struggle with money (making ends meet) but no way would we get divorced over it. We've been married 20 years soon & we try & work through any problems. Lots of luck to you, I wish you well & hope you can sort things out between you. |
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David M
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Money problems are the #1 cause for divorce. Sounds like you two are diametrically opposed when it comes to money issues. You're the saver, he's the spender. You don't say how long things have been this way so I don't know if he can change, but he has to or else you two are over. Good luck. If I were a betting man, I'm sorry to say I'd be betting against this working out. Sounds like you have a spoiled little boy for a husband. |
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ms. vesio
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If he is bringing your family down, it may be time to save yourself before things get really bad. |
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broccoli brain
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It is amazing that some people value "stuff" more than a roof over their head. Get thee to a counselor as soon as possible and take away his checkbook and credit cards. Your kids need to be with both parents and learn financial responsibility from this family experience. |
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SneakersPeepers
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OMG!
I hope he doesn't have access to your stash of cash. Sounds like he needs a spanking and grounding. If he want to act like 5 I would treat him like it. He's going to bring you both down the rabbit hole of debt otherwise. Take his credit cards NOW!
This worked for my boyfriend who likes to spend:
Use a wall in a spare bedroom to map out all your big expenses for the year.(I used a huge bulletin board) Have a his & hers side and everything else in the middle. Write an estimated amount on each. Sit back and add it up. Now ask him how he thinks your going to accomplish all of this in one year. The 2 of you will need to decide what can wait, what's not important, what would be really nice, and what is most important.(Saving the House) If you can't do this together, what could you do.
Get creative and keep in mind. If he's not willing to communicate about the problem he is causing for the 2 of you, then he doesn't care about you nearly as much as he says/acts (otherwise he would try).
We used this technique for home improvements, wedding, new tv, and a used car. Surprise the wedding was not worth it, so we got the new tv instead and that's why he's only my boyfriend |
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Sania Badnaam
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I don't want to give bad advice, but if you don't have any kids then you should definitely consider seperating from your spouse. |
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