 Easiest way to......? |
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misscongeniality711 | Is this just a bad idea? |
I work with someone who is also one of my very good friends. She has 2 children, one of which has a condition that causes a lot of medical expenses. She broke down crying today because they are threatening to take her house, and her car is going to be repossessed probably this week. She had to pay a large amount of medical bills off, and it has left her with no funds.
Our company is having a fundraiser in October, where we plan to raise an extremely large amount of money. That, however, does not help her now.
I have considered taking out a personal loan for about 4 thousand dollars to keep her and her family afloat until then. She can not take out a loan, for her credit is ruined.
I am 100% confident that she will pay me back next month when the money comes in-probably before my first payment is due. I feel like I need to do something. She is in a really bad spot, and I would pray that someone would do that for me.
Is it a bad idea? |
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♫☼♥ ≈ Debbi ≈ ♥☼♫
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Cassie, only you know your financial situation at this point. It's very honorable of you to want to help your friend. However, as a couple people have already mentioned, you do need to assume that you'll never receive this money back. Would you be able to make the payments by yourself, and what would that do to you financially? There's no guarantee on how much you could raise on a fundraiser. Will she have another emergency at that time, that would prevent her from paying you back?
And while it's also honorable on your friends part to want to pay her medical bills, those should have been the last ones to be paid. But since it's a little late for the hindsight... all you can do is move forward from this point.
Does she have a relative or someone her and her kids could move in with?
There's an organization called FreeCycle, that has many groups throughout the world, in where people who are giving and receiving things for free in their own towns - including vehicles sometimes.
You and/or she could keep close tabs on what's being posted in your area; as well as posting her needs for your local area, to see if someone has a car they'd be willing to donate to her.
Another website you might want to consider is Craigslist, which also has a free section, as well as rentals, etc.
I wish her the best of luck, as well as you in deciding the best way to help her out. |
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RayRay
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It is never wise to lend to a friend. It puts a strain on the relationship. What is another problem comes up,like her roof leaks, and she can't pay you back? Also, it isn't likely that the company will give her a large sum.
If the medical bills are that high, has she not looked into medicade or asked the hospital for a payment plan (they will all work with you even if you are paying them $20 every two weeks the rest of your life)
rr |
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ncjay08
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If you can afford to kiss that money goodbye and never see it again, go ahead and do it. Just be careful not to let someone else's misfortune also ruin your life. It is extremely tough to not do anything, but is it worth ruining your own life to help someone else? It's a judgement call only you can make. Look for help from some non profit companies that specialize in this kind of situation. There are lots of people who would be happy to help if you just let them know about the situation. |
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worldinspector
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Tough call. If you had the money in hand, I'd say go for it. But taking out a loan to give a loan . . . I'm the most generous old softie I know, but this just doesn't add up to a good idea.
Also, healthcare in the U.S. is a disaster. Those who don't have health insurance are charged MUCH more than those who do. If you have insurance, your hospital and doctor bills, for each procedure (X-Ray, Whadyamacall Test, Stuff Injection, etc.), have separate columns for the amount being billed and the amount the insurance company allows. Despite frequently HUGE differences in the 2 figures, the doctor and hospital accepts the insurance company's allowance as full payment. In other words, those without insurance are PURPOSELY overcharged without any realistic expectation of ever receiving full payment! The healthcare providers then use the amount not paid as a tax writeoff, loss, etc.
Clear Example: My daughter had treatments for cancer (she's fine now, thanks) for over a year. When I added up all the bills, the "amounts charged" added up to over $60,000. The amount the doctors and hospitals had accepted as full payment added up to slightly over $20,000.
On one hand, not paying the medical bills may indeed wreck your friend's credit, but the reality is they don't ever expect full payment! |
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son-shine
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It is really nice of you to want to help, but I would suggest you not do it. Medical bills work with you, mortgage companies do not. She could have paid a small amount of money on those medical bills and paid for her mortgage on time each month. Doctors and hospital both will work with you. If you tell them your circumstances in a written letter, most of them will write off the bill for you. Otherwise, they will accept small payments and cannot do anything if you pay them a small amount per month. They may make threats that they will, but those are just threats. Your friends credit is probably already ruined so she is risking nothing by only paying a small amount on hospital and doctor bills.
No one should ever risk losing the roof over their head. Mortgage or rent is one of the first things you pay when you receive your income for the month, then food, then pay bills. If she is that far behind, she is a very poor risk for pay back. Because she is your friend, there may be more excuses when the time comes to pay you back. I've heard of people doing this and losing their friendship because it just rarely works when you loan a friend money. If your company is doing a benefit for her, possibly the company could write her mortgage company a letter stating they will being raising money for her in October. Mortgage companies work with people too. Also, if she cannot afford her mortgage, possibly she has more home than she can afford and needs to move anyway to an apartment until she gets back on her feet financially.
We should help those in need if we have extra money to help, if they are managing their money well and are just having a temporary bad spell. But it is never wise to borrow money in order to loan someone money. You should only give or lend what you have available yourself if you have that much extra. I love helping people and mostly do so anonymously, but it is just not right to go into debt in order to do this and a good friend would never want us to.
P.S. By the way, to the people who think God would want this person writing this question to take out a loan for a friend, this is wrong. God does not want us to be in debt. There are many scriptures which tell us this. Yes, God wants us to help people if we have the resources available, but He would never condone taking out a loan for this purpose. God doesn't want His children in any debt.
I know you want to do what you can to help your friend. But it is clearly not a good idea to take out a loan. I pray this helps you decide. May God bless you for your caring spirit and your friend in her time of need. |
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Jon H
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Personally i wouldn't do it. I find it is unwise to mix in finances into friendship. Medical expenses can be done on payment plans. Car payments can be differed. If she hasn't taken these steps already she should. If she has and she is still in trouble, I doubt she is capable of making the correct financial decisions. In that case your loan to her would just be another one to add to the list of loans in default.
Be Careful and don't let your friendship and sympathy cloud your judgment.
Good Luck |
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mouse3801
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it is very nice of you and i would do the same. most important thing is, you are 100% sure she will pay you back . If she does not pay you back can you make the payments? And if not then you shouldnt do it. |
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?
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Helping people is great, but not by putting yourself in debt. You have to loan money as if you would never get it back. If you don't can you afford to repay the loan on your own? If so , go for it. |
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?
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No. This idea is perfectly good because your friend will pay you back and she needs you. Also the fundraiser can help her! |
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Justine Kaley
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No it is not don't listen to the people who say it is there's that saying what goes around comes around I would rather have my friend be able to keep her kids under a roof then be homeless if you don't that shows you don't care and how would you like someone to do to you if you were in the same position. I have an idea if you can and your able to pay the loan off do it but also to be a bit more generous is also have your company open a savings account in her name put a little money in there whatever you and your company/co-workers/employees/etc... can then at the season for giving (personally I think the season for giving should be all year long) on that say surprise her. Don't expect her to pay back I don't expect anyone to I also won't going chasing them around saying give me my money if she can't or eventually when she can and she does who cares remember the good deed is much more important then the money. |
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Jill
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Not a bad idea, its a good idea... if you can do it then do it, esp since you feel as though she will pay you back, but more importantly you are doing something she cant for her family... its really sweet of you! |
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TxCatLuvr
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I believe your motive is pure and your heart is sincere to help your friend out in her time of need. However, I think it's a bad idea to go about it the way you want to. It is a dangerous thing to put yourself in debt to help out a friend. I've been there before and it's no fun when trying to dig yourself out of the hole. I would be very wise and if you do decide to do this, talk with your friend first and work out the payment terms for her paying you back in a timely manner. If she cannot do so, or cannot commit to paying you back, then you will need to decide what you are going to do. |
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DANIEL D
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If you do this be sure to get a written promissory note from her.
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you have always gotten. |
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Dee09
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no, as long as she doesnt take you for granted and pays you back. Thats what friends are for.You did a good deed. |
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[deleted]
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No, just do it.
Even if she cant pay you back, you'll have the Ididagooddeed feeling |
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sour_apple
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Do it... a good friend would help another out for anything.. Unless it was something that she brought upon herself, and this certainly is not one of thosee things.
Also, try writing a letter to the editor of your local news paper (if you live in a small town). You may be surprised how many people would be interested in helping her with donations and charity events. It happens all the time where I am from. It's kinda sad, but play up on the child's illness... people are moved by children.
Good luck, this is a tough one. You have a good, pure heart though and its great that you want to help your friend. |
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jarrodg2003
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good on u for the thought
it would be ok to do this if u write up a contract outlining conditions of u giving her the money. get a few copies of it, both of u sign it in front of someone, using them as a witness for legal reason, but be sure this "witness" is neither a freind of either of u two, get the witness to sign it aswell. each of u get a copy, inc the witness.
then u'll b all sweet. if anything happens that she cant pay or wont, ur covered in court of law and u will get ur money back
hope everything turns out |
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Danutzky
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If you do this I think you'll make a very good impression to God and he will take care of you when you'll need some help. I think the world has a lack of people like you... |
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Sleepy1
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Helping someone in need is never, ever a bad idea. However, you need to assume you will never see a penny of your money back. Not because she doesn't plan to pay you back, but because life has a way of getting in the way of all your plans. If you assume you will never see a penny back, you can take a great deal of satisfaction in knowing that you helped a friend. And if she does pay you back, you can be pleasantly surprised. A much better deal than being disappointed. |
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Laurie
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Yes, there is a saying about the best laid plans of mice and men....Just because you hope she can repay, doesn't mean she will...and where will that leave you!??? But, you sound like such a kind person! How nice! I wish there were more people like you in the world. can I borrow a dollar? |
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george_the_cat
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HELL NO! Are you crazy! You will be in her shoes soon . |
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