Beige Almighty - Goddess of Nada
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She said she was going to get the finances in order and she is doing that, what's not to believe. Sounds like she is being pretty responsible. If there is more work to do in cleaning up your finances then she is right, you don't need more cards.
She didn't invade your privacy, as the primary cardholder and your wife she had every right to take those cards back and cancel them. What makes me wonder is why she felt that she had to go to that extreme? Has she tried less extreme measures to improve your finances and you did not cooperate?
I also do not understand why you feel cheated. Yes you would be entitled to half the money in the 401k, but you also would have been responsible for half of the marital debts. If she is planning to divorce you, she is being nice in cleaning up your credit rating before she does it. You aren't losing out on anything by what she has done.
If you are trying to keep this marriage together, getting another bank card isn't the solution, talking to her is, once you get the chip off your shoulder about feeling cheated.
As for feeling like a kid, wanting to spend more money when she is trying to save it and take care of business is pretty childish. |
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#1 Due on 12/22/08!
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Whats wrong with wanting to get out of debt? Maybe you are acting like a child with the credit cards, when she is getting rid of them? |
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saraparker
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i have only been married 5 years, but what seems to work well is to both keep your own accounts. not everything has to be joint. |
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BLOODHOUND
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your wife sounds pretty smart to me.maybe she is tired of drowning in debt. shes right about the credit cards.we would all be better off with out them. if you want one in your name then get one. i have a feeling you have run all hers up and she had to cancel them in order for you not to use them. what do you mean she invaded your privacy. i didn't know a wife could invade on a husbands privacy. i bet she asked for the cards back and found it easier to just take them with out a fight. you need to relax.if shes going to leave you then there's nothing you can do to stop her. if shes not then give her credit for trying to get you twos finances in order. i would stop with that privacy thing.when you are married you don't have a lot of privacy from your mate. |
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andy
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You forgot to mention how far in debt you are. I wish I had done this to my ex-wife before she ran up $30,000 in credit card debt before we split. I would suggest that you and her go and get some marriage counseling and talk more open about your finances. |
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foxyfaerie
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Act like an adult and trust your *wife*.
And learn to spell & write like an adult too. |
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stahlcyndi
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First I don't believe you can touch her 401k and I hope she took out tax money on that loan. My Husband used to have credit cards until found out the interest rates on them.. We paid them off and I thought we only had the one until before Christmas he got another one mailed to his office. I was so ticked off !!!!! My thing is if you can't pay for it in cash you don't need it. We do both have ATM cards do you have that then I would think nothing of a divorce unless your fighting alot!! |
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That 70's girl
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Number 1. Are you having marital problems, other than finances? Have you both discussed a divorce at all? Ever? If you answered yes to the above questions then you may have a reason to doubt her motives. But if you answered No, Why are you so paranoid? If she pays the bills and the cards are in her name, maybe she really does want to get out from under the debt. I have been there, I know. It is her 401k to do what she wants also. You are feeling like a child because you are acting like a child. It sounds like she is doing the right thing. Other than going through your wallet. :) |
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ronidl76
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Be gratefult that she's using that money to PAY OFF DEBT! She's being responsible about it, and you're crying cause you think she's treating you like a kid. Get your own card if you want. It's not unheard of. Do you not qualify for your own credit? Listen to Dave Ramsey and you'll see that she's really doing you a favor by destroying the credit cards. |
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Blair V
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Don't jump to conclusons bud!! This sounds like you are just freaking out...and if she is the primary holder, then she has every right to want to get rid of them if she deems necessary. Also, in divorce she would not only give you half her 401K, but half the debt as well...so she would be doing you a favor by paying off ya'll debt with her 401K. Chill buddy... |
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Muschi
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Get your own credit card and your own separate bank/savings account and start putting money aside, you're going to need it. |
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happyhive7
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If you suspect something,the best you can do is prepare yourself,as she seems to be doing. You may have a right to half of her 401k,but she also has a right to fight it. If she can prove that you are a frivolus spender,and bad with finances and perhaps the main cause of the ultimate debt situation you are in,and she was the responsible one to fix it,then you can be out of any compensation. Unfourtunately/fortunately the law depending on where you live usually sides with the woman,because as always we are still being seen as the "weaker sex" and a man must always be able to provide for himself and his expenses. Just start saving some money is all you can do, watch your spending and hope that if you do end up in divorce that you get a small if even half compensation,thats the best you can do. |
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Solace78
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U better watch your back out for her. Sounds like she's putting alot of things in motion to prepare herself for leaving you. U need to prepare yourself financially in case that's what's going down. How long have yall been married? |
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Jeff
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When it comes to your family finances, you don't have privacy. The two of you are a team, and what you need is trust.
Most of all, you need to sit down and have a talk with your wife. The two of you need to be on the same page when it comes to your finances. If she's trying to save, and you're trying to spend, y'all aren't going to go anywhere.
It sounds like you don't have a financial problem; you have a marriage problem. |
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GO TO HELL
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Get your own card no matter what she says. |
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John R
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You got the dick here man....really 50 years ago she would be beat you need to check yourself....really.....I think you need to be the man and put on the proverbial pant in that house and tell her to back up a string bean and knit me a god damn sweater, sounds like a joke but I mean it. My wife and I have a great relationship but we are EQUAL in ALL decisions and it sounds like she needs knocked down off of her tower a bit.....just my opinion |
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ZE
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To late, your already married, you gave up the right to make decisions for yourself. |
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