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Venus | Married, two bank accounts? |
I am sure this has been asked a couple times- anyway its about having two bank accounts. Is it better for the marriage, in the long run if the couple decides to have separate bank accounts but agree to share bills and stuff? Say the wife pays the utilities, he pays the rent etc Would it be a solution to constant money fights in the marriage? OR would it be the beginning of a bad/failed marriage? Can it work? |
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lizzgeorge
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Separate accounts are usually important and make each person feel more powerful/autonomous in the marriage (a good thing).
But you should each take care of all household expenses and savings for mutual goals together. Don't split up responsibilites like you pay rent and she pays utilities. Figure out how much you need each month to cover all household bills, and each of you contribute the same percentage of your paycheck.
For example, each of you could put 10% of your income into retirement accounts, put 10% into a joint money market for mutual short term goals, and have 70% go to your joint checking for household expenses. The remaining 10% should be split evenly between both of you and put in your separate accounts (that way you each get $200/mo, for instance, rather than 10% of your individual income. Fun money should be equal in dollar amount). Adjust the percentages as needed.
That way you both feel like equals. The joint account should be used solely for household expenses like groceries, bills, and debt payments. All shopping, spa, gift and entertainment expenses that you do individually should come from your separate fun money accounts. No more arguments. |
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Roger C
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No bank account, one bank account, two bank account, three bank accounts....
It doesn't matter, if the two of you are not on the same page with finances there will be problems. |
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dashelamet
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When I was married we started out with two different accounts. I made less than my husband but not by a huge amount. He paid the rent and I paid utilities, groceries, etc. He was very extravagant with his extra money and saved nothing. I could barely pay the bills and I had nothing for myself (I couldn't buy a magazine if I wanted it). I once sold some of my jewelry to buy diapers while my husband bought himself clothes and toys, etc. If I said anything, I wasn't budgeting properly. We combined into one checking account after our cable was shut off one month because I couldn't pay the bill. After that, I was able to manage our spending better because it was all in one place and he had to see what the other bills were that I was paying before. We eventually got divorced and money was one of the main issues.
I'm remarried and we have two accounts. I make way less money than my husband. His account pays for everything, and mine is used for groceries and spending money for me (gas, gifts, etc.). It works out great.
My point is that having two accounts can work well or be a disaster...it depends on how both people budget. I would completely advise against having certain things you each pay for...unless they are fairly based on each person's income. If not, serious resentment will develop.
I also believe that every woman should have her own bank account or savings account that is just hers. Not to be kept as a secret, but just because. |
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BeBu
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That's a good question, I think It all depends on the couple. For me and my hubby we do fine with a joint account, but we have never fought over money. But I know people who say it is the thing that saved there marriage |
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pdonlevy
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I cannot speak for everyone, but keeping seperate finances has been the right thing in my marriage.
I have my accounts, my husband has his accounts, and we have joint savings, checking and investment accounts. I manage my finances and the joint accounts, and my husband manages his stuff. I do our taxes, and we file a joint tax return.
Each year I do a budget, and calculate the amount each of us must contribute to the joint account to manage the household bills. If we want to make a large purchase for the household, we discuss where the money will come from before the pruchase is made.
This may sound complicated, but it has worked out well for us. We both work, and are both rather frugal. We trust each other, and discuss finances regularly, and in 15 years it has not been a problem.
By having seperate finances, we each have the freedom to manage our spending money as we please, which we like.
I really don't think the number or set up accounts is the issue. It's about trust and fairness. I have known married couples that have only joint accounts and fight about money a lot. |
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Splendable
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We have four checking accounts:
1) Joint checking (all household bills, joint evenings out, car insurance, etc. come out of this account)
2) Joint mortgage (we keep this separate to make sure that it's never short at the end of the month!)
3 & 4) Individual personal checking accounts (gas for our individual cars, any "personal" stuff that we want to buy like books or games or lunches at work, etc. come from these accounts)
While our incomes aren't the same, the *percentage* of our paycheck that is deposited into the Joint accounts are equal, so we're both "paying our share".
It works well for us. It means that I can spend stuff out of my personal account for shoes or clothes or whatever and not have to worry about the "What did you waste money on that for?" argument, and my husband can buy things for his hobbies out of HIS personal account, without us worrying about not being able to pay bills throughout the month. |
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Carthlete
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I have heard a lot of people on here with this question and more often than not the most common answer is yes have the two bank accounts.
I disagree with that. If one makes more than the other..who pays for outings? dinner, the movies, ice cream...things like that? I think that having seperate bank accounts allows for tension to grow between the two people. Why not just pool your money together and have a savings account, and a second account for everyday purchases like lunch, shoes, movies and whatnot.
The more in your bank account, the more your intrest will grow. |
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yagurlbubblez
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Yes it can work. me and my bf have been together for 2 yrs now and we arent married, but marriage really doesnt make a difference to me.
Now, the only reason we ever had money fights was becuz he wasnt saving for his part of the bills, now if both parties are on the same page, its okay and it can work. But the agreement has to stay in tact on both sides. both parties have to pay their bills and be on time and there shouldnt be an issue after that. |
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JennyJ
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I as the wife think it works great...I don't feel like I have to ask permission everytime I spend money and neither does he...if you both have the same goals and attitudes about money than either way should not be a problem. I don't think it would be a solution to all your problems however I don't think it could be blamed for a failed marriage ...it's the underlying issues that would cause that. Communication is the biggest factor and if you sit down and can both agree with a solution that meets both your needs than go for it. |
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calliope320
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I think it depends on a lot of factors. My husband and I have joint accounts, and it works for us because neither of us is a big impulse spender. I pay the bills and buy the house stuff, he takes care of computer stuff and dates. If we have a big ticket item we want to buy (new computer, new desk, etc) we discuss it first. Sometimes that's just figuring out a dollar amount and then one of us picks out and buys the item, but there are never any big surprises on where our money is going.
Now, some people on here have complained that their spouses are buying Xbox games and other superficial stuff like that with no intention of staying within the budget. For people like that, it's good to have a seperate "mad money" account. No money gets transfered into the account without you talking it over first, but once it's there it can be spent on whatever. Then there's no surprises when one of you tries to buy that really nice comforter set and the other one tries to buy a new suit the same day. |
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Indiana Frenchman
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having been through a divorce and my ex-wife spending most of what was in a single checking and savings account I am an advocate fo split accounts with completely shared payment requirements |
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Rob K
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it is always good for each of you to have your own spending cash, but in the long run it won't matter. If your marriage fails and you do not have a prenup, you split everything 50-50 from time of marriage in most states. |
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Ilovecheese
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A marriage can work with separate banking accounts, as long as you are not hiding anything. It isn't about banking accounts, its about why you want to have separate ones. Do you trust each other? Why do you want to have separate accounts? My husband and I have seperate accounts because he is the kind of person who has to document the tiniest ATM fee and I just check my balance online each day. We started out with one account, but after the many, many reciepts I lost drove him nuts, I just opened my own. We pay the bills together, we both know how much the other person has, and we're fine. |
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greengo
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NO
You need to be in total agreement about finances, because financial issues are the NUMBER ONE reason for failed marriages. If you do not believe that "what is mine is ours" you should not be married in the first place.
Be honest, get on a budget, discuss plans, talk about your money handling preferences....and be united, not untied |
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