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sarahmartin567809 | Men only please would you ask your fiance to pay off your debt if you knew she had the money to do so? |
and how would you feel if you asked and she said no |
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Vegan
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I would not ask her to pay it off outright, I'd instead ask for a loan.
I did this for my gf with her student loans. They all had relatively high rates of interest. I gave her the money pay them off and asked her to pay me back with interest (the same rate I was getting through my bank, which was significantly less than what she was paying.)
It worked out great for her, she saved lots in interest. It ended up working well for me as well (As I didn't pay tax on the interest earned.)
In response to your second question, I would not be upset. It is not my fiancee's obligation to pay off my debts. |
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Jolly
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No, I wouldn't ask that at all. The guy should be responsible for his own debt management before and during marriage. |
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matsystud
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my guy friend said only a loser would do that, a real man takes care of business! |
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Crighton
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I wouldn't, but thats mostly my pride talking, plus it's my responsibility to pay for my debts not hers. Of course if we got married then got into debt she'd be co-debtor in my view. |
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Wolfsburgh
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sarah,
It would be MY debt and therefore I would be the one responsible for it. I would not ask, but I would feel responsible for disclosing my financial condition prior to getting married...
I would not feel anything...I would not ask. |
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Max
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I would never be able to bring myself to do something like that. |
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ak
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of course not! |
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solokingcat
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No , I could never ask that, especially of someone I loved. I would have to take care of my business before marriage, otherwise it's a burden on both. As for the second part of the question, I would feel like a schmuck for asking in the first place, so it serves me right for her to say no. |
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kamikaze2427
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I would not ask her outright to pay off my debt, but I would certainly explain the situation to her honestly, and depending on the situation and my (the man's) previous history with borrowing money from her and paying debts on time, etc, I think a caring fiancee would certainly be willing to help if she can trust you to pay her back and it is something absolutely necessary. However, if it is just small debt and not a pressing issue, or if the man does not plan on paying back the money, it would be a ridiculous proposition. |
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lizzgeorge
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Once you are married your debts belong to each other and so do your assets. So you should each make a combined balance sheet--including all debts and assets. Then you need to make combined financial goals (the first of which, I'm assuming, would be to pay off debt).
But you shouldn't take any action as far as combining your money, paying each other's debt, or putting each others' names on your accounts until you are actually married. If you do it now it can cause resentment and confusion, plus it will upset the balance of power.
If you wait until you're a legal couple, you will both feel more like equals and it will just be part of the reorgainizing/combining that needs to be done anyway. Plus I'm not even going to mention the emotional and legal issues that can agonize you both if break up before the wedding and also have to worry about mixed finances. |
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rowanwagner
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No, it is your debt and your responsibility |
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Flappy
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Okay, so I'm not a man, but when you get married, technically the debt is both of yours, as well as the money.
But still, it's not fair for you to have to pay it off... It sounds like YOU manage your money wisely, since you could pay it off...
Teach him to manage money. Give him a budget, and make sure he sticks to it. Include a section dedicated to helping him pay off everything. |
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silentnonrev
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maybe if I was desperate...and if I was, it would kind of suck if she said no! OK, not married yet, so his debt is his debt and her $ is her $....but if really going to come together as one, I would hope for some help, if I really needed it. |
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♥ Mommy of 3 ♥
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I'm not a man, but from a woman's perspective I can answer this. If it is your fiance, the woman that your going to marry...yeah, ask her! She is going to be your wife and your finances will affect her finances once you get married. So, yeah she would probably be willing to help you out. |
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