jacg
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I think you already know the answer to this one. Why isn't she either working or trying to find work? Just because you can't claim Job Seeker's Allowance doesn't mean you can't be a job seeker.
Maybe it is her pride that's getting in the way. Perhaps she needs to lower her standards and get a job, even if it's not really what she wants to do. It is much easier to find another job if you are already in one. Also there may be other opportunities which become available once she starts work there. There are very few people in the world who are lucky enough to work in a job they love that is their vocation. Most of us have to work to pay the bills.
If she has been unemployed for a long time, she may feel unconfident about returning to work. There are good schemes available for free from Learn Direct or job centres to help people learn the skills they need to get a job. They also help with interview techniques and travel expenses.
Perhaps she might consider returning to college and will be entitled to some sort of loan/bursary.
In any case, make it clear to her from the outset that as much as you love her, there's no such thing in life as a free lunch. She needs to act to start earning and paying her way or go back to Mum's. The longer you leave it, the more set in her ways she'll become and the more resentful you'll become. |
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nigel v
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she is freeloading and you are enabling. If you give her an allowance she won't be motivated to find a job. |
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Confuzzled
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Dump her and marry me! I would love to find a soft centred sweetie like you! geez.......go talk to yourself in the mirror!!! Give yourself a good slapping and ask yourself what she is askign here.......does she want to sign up as a housekeeper or a concubine or what? Is she expecting you to pay her to stay with you??ppppffftttt....I'd just tell her if she needs something and you think you can afford to buy it for her you will but if it is just like pocket money tell her you aren't prepared to do that as she is capable of work!!! |
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vampini
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I would tell her to get a job! |
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s s
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Sounds like a user. Her and her mom are just trying to manipulate you. Don't let them. You are giving her food and shelter, if she wants extras -she needs to work for them!!!! |
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WHO am i?
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cant she find a job? |
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ALLEN B
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If you want a daughter, pay the allowance.
If you want an adult relationship with your girlfriend, she has to realise that she must meet her own responsibilities..............
and let her buy her own clothes!! |
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jet-set
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She sounfds like a freeloader! Tell her to find a job. |
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K B
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If she wants money she should work for it like the rest of us do. |
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Zani Ladi
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Is she actually capable of getting a job for herself? If not, I would find her one myself and ensure she takes it up. Noone should have to pay their partner allowance! |
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boden21
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shoot and scoot pal ,free loader no good ,how long did she work before and did she stop when she moved in with you ???????? |
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vampwithaheart
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Yep, I agree with everyone else... she needs to get a job!
How did she cope before she moved in with you?? |
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jenn8
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No if shes really hard up get her to work at tecos or mcdonalds if your paying the bills and clothing and feeding her she needs to contribute .Yes theyre shitty jobs but beggars cant be choosers and if its bringing money in its a bonus .Theyre is plenty of jobs out there make her get off her butt and find one |
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shirju_rich
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GET A JOB.
Everybody else does and she should be doing the same.
She could even work at McDonalds. Anywhere is good enough and better than an allowance. |
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jay
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she aint your kid, shes your girlfriend, tell her find a job if she wants the luxury to buy things. if she says she needs gas money, then give only that. dont let her bs you |
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Tattoo Ted
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If she can't claim jobseekers allowance then she needs to get a job and stop freeloading. |
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forgetmenot1908
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She may not be entitled to jsa but she should be able to get income support |
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tvark
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Tell her to get a job |
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shashi_shashikanth
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Don't just dump her. try to think it over again. you might get a good solution when you think minutely. If you find her compatible and comfortable with her you can keep on. try to solve your money problem first. |
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alatoruk
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ok, answer the question with a question - what the ***k has it got to do with her mother. she moved in with you, not the mother.
its your relationship and you should be happy with whatever you do. My g/friend stops at home all day, but does all the housework / shopping etc. she also does all the driving now my disability is getting worse, so there is a trade off. i provide income to the house, she provides services, between us we sort out anything else.
anf allowance wise, all our incomes go into the bank and we both have "personal spending" money from that, just liek it was a bill or something. up to us what we do with it. |
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minniemoe
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why don't you tell her mom''since your so concerned why don't you give it to her'' and tell her butt to get a job. |
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DaMan
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I have 4 words.
Hell to the nawl!
The very last thing you should do is co-sign bad behavior. You have provided her food and shelter and probably some good-loving to boot.
You have to let her fend for herself.
If you give her an allowance, you establish the expectation that you are to PAY her for living in your home.
Don't fall for the banana in the tail pipe trick.
And one final thought, if the MOTHER is in a position to provide YOU with advice, she is also in a position to open up her purse and fund that allowance for her daughter.
Tell momma to put her money where her mouth is or to butt out. |
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jizzumonkey
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whoa can i be your gf !? |
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rookethorne
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Give her £25 a week, and start charging her for sex. |
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Franco
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I she is clever, she will get you to marry her and then she can claim 50% of what you have already and 50% of your earnings and pension rights.This is the law in UK now. |
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Blicka
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Dude,
This is headed in a bad direction. Either stop giving her money or break up with her. As a middle ground. Sit her down and talk to her about how frustrating it is for you to have to go to work while she spends your money. The 'it just isn't how I was brought up' angle should work well. If she whines about not being able to find a job, tell her it might be a better idea if she were a little more proactive. If your buddy told you this, what would you tell him?
Good luck! |
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minas_101
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Ahh, just sing her this:
[chorus]
I won't pay
I won't pay
A NO waaaay!
A nana why don't you get a job?
Say no way
Say no way
A no waaay
A nana won't get you a job!!
Problem solved.
:D |
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bundy2175
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hell no,her mum wants u to support her so she wont have to,the more money u give her the less she will look for a job,get a new g/f one with a job would be cheaper. |
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ellerose
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You're giving her enough already. As you've said, the only thing she doesn't have is a bit of spending money!
Make her pay her own way, support her if she needs to find her feet, otherwise how will she have any self-respect in the long run? |
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jackie m
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If she doesn't get job seekers money then she can apply for income support unless you are giving the tax office your details as you would do as a cohabiting couple? as what is she suppose to live on? I think she would be better moving out and find another boyfriend. |
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Writers cramp
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Tell her mother to give her an allowance or alternatively, and even better, get another girlfriend. |
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