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A | Should I co-sign a loan with my mom? |
My mom wants to apply for a debt consolidation loan but has bad credit. My 2 brothers, sister, & brother's friend live with her in a house. I rent an apartment with my bf. I'm the only one in my family who has good credit, so my mom wants me to co-sign a loan with her. My mom is a widow & has no one else to ask. She has me pegged as her last hope.
The thing is I'm still in my twenties and have intentions of returning to school, marrying, & buying a house in the future. If she defaults on her loan payments, which I've heard occurs very often in instances where there's a co-borrower, then I am liable for the loan. It'll hurt MY credit!
My bf has even told me that if I co-sign this loan, he won't marry me because, as my spouse, he'd be indirectly responsible for her loan too.
If I don't co-sign, she'll lose the house. I told her to sell & move but she's stubborn. I suggested bankruptcy but she says it'll be bad for her job status 'cause she's a public employee. What should I do???
Additional Details
All of my siblings & my brother's friend are over 18. Brother 1 recently lost his job. Brother 2 is paying $1200/mo for rent. Sister is a full-time student & will be moving out with her bf soon. Brother's friend pays $150/mo for rent, which needs to increase because he's practically get a free ride! My mom is scared of Brother 1 & his friend because they're ill-tempered & are domineering. After all of that, they're still short $1800.
Thank you SO much to everyone who has provided an answer! You've been very helpful! |
 |
 
1 Hr Bookkeeper
|
You absolutely should not. There are other ways for her to clean up her credit. If you co-sign the loan and she doesn't pay it, your credit goes down the crapper.
Your mom won't be affected at work by her personal credit...even as a public employee. If she lost her job due to credit, she'd have a lawsuit.
If you marry your bf, he is not responsible for pre-marriage loans. However, once married, you will have problems getting a house if your credit was ruined by your mother.
Now, just fyi, your mother can get a loan on her house to pay all her bills all by herself even if she filed bankruptcy. It just means she would have to make a higher monthly payment...but mortgage lenders love people with bad credit. They can even do a stated loan or a reverse mortgage if she is unemployed or collecting her dead husband's pension/social security.
Don't get trapped into your mother's drama. I know how hard it can be, but you are better off letting her know that you aren't comfortable with it and you really don't want too. If she can't accept that, then she is being selfish and she doesn't care if you get hurt in the process. Just focus on what you need to do for you.
Hope this helps. |
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src50
|
I totally agree with the first poster. It is unfair of your mother to ask this of you. You have to think of yourself and your future. |
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Corona
|
I am sorry to say this, and I know a lot of people will say "It's your family, you have to do it!", but you know what...you have to watch out for you. Your mom, sadly, got herself into this and if she needs to file for bankruptcy, then she needs to do that. We are all adults and have to take responsibility for ourselves. I wouldn't do it, but having said that....my mom would have never ask that of me. |
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Nicholas S
|
This could really screw up your financial situation. I have heard stories of these consolidation places not paying creditors. I think your bf has very valid concerns about this. I think very gently telling Mom no is the best thing you can do. You didn't get her into it.... |
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Umokay
|
Don't do it. Not in a million years. I hate to be harsh but she is a big girl and must deal with her own problems. At best, you will only put off the financial disaster awaiting your mother and then you too will have bad credit- for years. While I think your BF may be being a little harsh, I agree with him and support his feeling 100% that you should not get a loan with your mom. I know you are probably dying on the inside about this, but please don't do it.
Edit- It is unfair of your mom to ask as other people have said, but at the same time, it is your mom, and you have understandable compassion for her. That is good. It means you are a good person on the inside. All good people feel bad when other people are in trouble. But, regardless, also you must be a smart person and refuse to sign this loan. Please don't do it!! |
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lynnguys
 |
I completely agree with your boyfriend. You need to stand your ground and tell your mom, "no". It sounds like her situation is just way too risky and the subprime market can be brutal with variable interest rates and such. You need to tell your mother that she should sell her home and pay off her debt. Yes, she raised you and has other children in the house, but, she needs to face the fact that she could ruin you both with one missed payment. |
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Rita F
|
I would strongly suggest that you not co-sign a debt consolidation loan for your mother. She has a history of bad credit and needs to learn to live within her means.
Even very smart people end up having to file bankruptcy at times. This may not be the only way out for her. I see that there are 4 other adults living in this household. They are all responsible for paying a fair rent and utility bill.
I would also suggest that you start reading Dave Ramseys Financial Freedom books. Your mom and everyone else needs to eat beans and rice and rice and beans until they get out of debt. Your mom needs to make a list of her expenses and pay the rent, utilities, food, car, insurance in that order. All other money can be placed on the credit card with the least debt. Once she has paid that one off, she starts on the next one. If she is able to make at least the minimum payments on the credit card debt that will help also.
Guilt can be a heavy load to carry and you should not feel the least bit guilty for forcing your mother to grow up and take control of her life. It is a tough pill for her to swallow but your co-signing a loan only allows her to be continue her bad financial ways.
I am a mother and a grandmother and I have always taught my family never to loan money to anyone, if they want to give it freely never expecting to be repaid, then it will be a pleasant surprise if they get it back. Remember, neither a borrow or lender be.
Good luck and I hope this helps you. I will keep your family in my prayers as they are going to need it. |
|
XoxoxoxoX
|
It is a tough decision, but I will tell you NOT to do it. I am sorry that you are in such situation, but your mother do have those two options - to sell the house or file bankruptcy. Of course I would suggest her to sell the house over bankruptcy. BTW, I don't think being a public employee cannot file bankruptcy. It is the most secure job ever, and they are human too. But my answer would say NO. Because you are still so young and since your mom got herself into this situation herself, I would say she is a very high risk to default this debt. DO NOT DO IT...you have bright future because you earned it. Other you wouldn't have good credit score. Be strong and tell her NO in a nice way. |
|
marie76444
 |
Its hard when it comes to your loved ones. I personally am experiencing this right now. My husband co-signed with my brother on a car loan, he is in iraq right now, but he soon got married out of the clear blue sky, and about a month ago she got mad at him and stopped automatic withdrawl at the bank. So now we have to hunt her down every month for the payment. Its hard, I would not recommend it it is ALOT of STRESS and yes you are liable if he defaults. My husband and I strive hard to have and keep our good credit. I would just tell your mom you dont feel comfortable and dont want to co-sign with her for personal reasons. Be upfront and honest im sure she will understand she's your mom!! |
|
?
|
Listen to your boyfriend. DON'T CO-SIGN with your mother. She is OBVIOUSLY a bad credit, and she has a high likelihood of defaulting on this loan too. A child should NEVER have to be the one to provide financial support for a parent, as I just told my 23 year old son this past weekend. The finances should go the other way: the parent assisting their children to establish themselves financially. I, too, got in a situation with my mother when I was a teen, and she kept "borrowing" money from me, till one day she admitted she could never repay me, so she gave me a very expensive present that my dad had bought for her. She never told him, but when he found out, he said, "You made a very good deal, son." He said that in "dry humor", and meant no ill will towards me. But I can tell you that that incident, which occurred back around 1965, has haunted me all my life. My mother didn't have the backbone to curb her own spending, nor the respectability that an adult should have and go to her husband, my dad, and deal with it. They were married, and we all lived "happily" in the same home, but she didn't have the gumption to act as an adult and deal with her own financial irresponsibility, so she came to victimize her only child that she knew had saved some money and wouldn't turn her away because he respected his parents. My dad died back in March of 2005, and you can bet I have NEVER gone the short distance between our homes to see her in her old age. I am my fathers' son, and I disrespect my mother, for more reasons than that occurence back in '65, to ever see her again. Stand your ground and keep your self respect, and respect for the man you plan to marry. Your mother sure doesn't respect you. I can vouch for that, based on your question. NO parent should be so irresponsible. God Bless you. |
|
mad as hell
|
It's a sad situation.....you want to walk away and save yourself..but on the other hand you want to save your mom....but your mom may have to face the reality that she may have to sell....or lose everything altogether.
You didn't mention the ages of the others in her home..but they should be helping out the best they can.
But you B/F is correct when he tells you that your credit would be devistated if your mom defaulted on the loan and you cannot afford to pay it.
Maybe you should find out if there is enough equity for her to get a reverse mortgage if she meets the age criteria..which is generally 62 yr old.....or a bigger challenge..find out what she owes and see if you and your b/f can purchase the home and charge rent to your mother and others living there. |
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gogo7
|
Do not do it.
A couple reasons:
1) your mother has bad credit and I guarantee she will make late payments and trash your credit
2) your mother will be applying for more that just a consolidations loan but also borrowing for more $ to bring stuff she can't pay off like the mortgage. this will just increase her problems and will not solve it.
3) Like Rick says, consolidation does nothing but push the debt around but in my opinion the rate increases everything, debt consolidation are high risk loans to lenders
4) Like your boyfriend says, "indirectly responsible" means the loan will effect your finances as a couple. You will be just as responsible for the loan as your mother and could end up paying the loan (you probably will with her bad credit hate to say) which comes out of your household income then.
If she can't afford the home, maybe it's better she sells it. If she's that subborn, then she deserves to lose it. It's better if she downgrades the payments since everyone is grown and leaving. It might even have a side benefit of getting rid of brother #1 and his friend out of her home.
But please don't cosign. You will be paying for that favor for a very long time and regretting it dearly. Instead of giving her a flat no, you can make up an excuse I guess.
And about the public employee, if she has a job that has to have good credit, she's already not complied with that so I'm not sure how bankruptcy can be any worse. Just my opinion. |
|
sapling.geo
|
It really depends on the situation. I'm in a similar case as you, except my mom hasn't asked me to cosign for a loan, and I'm not sure that she would. If she did ask though, I would trust her to pay the loan because she wouldn't want it to hurt my credit. Knowing her, she would do just about anything she had to in order to make those payments. And since she has cosigned for apartments and loans for me to help me through school, I would be happy to return the favor.
That is, of course, my experience. The real question comes down to - can your mother reasonably expect to make the payments with her current income? Do you trust her to do so? The fact that you're asking here asking makes it sound like you have at least some fear she wouldn't follow through. That may tell you all you need to know. |
|
Kaska
 |
What do you mean by "public employee" I had a federal job and filed bankruptcy with no problems at all.
Yes if she flakes and don't pay the bill it will ruin your credit and the bill collectors will come after you.
If you get married your spouse should not be held responsible for the bills as they were received prior to the marriage. But since your credit is damaged (if she didn't pay) It would be difficult for you all as a couple to buy your own items. (house, car etc)
It may be best she give up the house and move somewhere she can afford. |
|
Rick B
|
Consolidating her debt does not pay it off. It just moves your debt around. It rolls high interest items AND LOW interest items into the same loan at a mid-range interest rate. It might lower your monthly payments, but that means it will take even LONGER to get out of debt. It also frees up all your lines of credit so you can simply run them up again! Finally, you often have to pay a loan origination fee.
She should call all of them and work out a payment plan and try to get your interest lowered or stopped.
Then, make the minimum payments on every one of them. On the lowest dollar value, put all her extra effort toward paying it off. Once it is paid off, then roll that extra money to the next largest balance. She should continue this snowball until all her debts are paid off.
She probably needs to cut her expenses back (and her deadbeat tenants) to the bare minimum. Get rid of cable, cell phones, internet, etc. Lower the electric bill, gas bill, water bill, etc. Don't eat at a restaurant until all debts are under control. Take a sandwich for lunch. Cancel the gym membership. Etc.
She should try to increase her income by getting a second job. If she has a car with payments, get rid of it, and buy a good dependable used car for CASH.
Go to the library and get "The Total Money Makeover". Read it and follow it carefully.
Go check out Dave's website as well.
www.daveramsey.com
Finally, DON'T co-sign. It is not your responsibility. Your mom is an adult that has made financial decisions. At her age, if she does not know that you can't keep assets that you don't pay for, then bailing her out this time is not going to make any difference.
If she has THREE people living there, why don't they go out and get some additional work and pay some of the bills?!?!
Quite honestly, her losing the house (and the three deadbeats) and moving into a one bedroom apartment might be a blessing.
Note that I assumed your siblings are over 18. I may be wrong there. If so, please ignore the deadbeat part. BUT, if she is in dire straits, she has no business supporting your brother's friend. |
|
lilsister
|
Hi,
Is it possible to get a mortgage loan by myself on a home I inherited and co-own with my brother? The home is free of any current loans. |
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