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JoMama | Suing my mom? |
My mother opened a credit card in my name when I was 18--without my knowledge. She charged it off and now I have a $6000 collection on my credit. I forgave her( because I'm an idiot) A month ago, she was $1400 behind on her house payment and begged me to get a loan in her name. She promised she would make the payments on it. The onely thing I could get was a short term loan for $900, and payments of $233 come out of my bank account each time I get paid. Of course, she's not making any payments and my bill are getting behind. Her excuse is that she loaned me money when I was young. You know, like, $20 when I had no food or $70 when I had to pay my electric bill. This was a LONG time ago when I was younger and her and my dad were well off. (My dad has since retired) I think I will have to sue her. I realize that this will casue a major rift, but I have a family of my own (husband and 3 kids) to think about. My question is, do I have grounds to sue? Would you do it? |
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Eggolas M
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Lawsuits are very expensive, especially if you need a lawyer. The cost will dwarf what you might recover and if you are in the U.S., you will most likely have to bear your own costs.
Thus, I wouldn't sue.
However, there is another matter of the identity theft. Think carefully about whether you would report a second attempt to the police and if so, whether you want to inform her of that so that she doesn't take that avenue again. Talk it over with your husband and decide what you want to do.
My concern is that her "justification" for the current non-payment of the $900 could easily lead her to "justifying" another attempt at identity theft, which could completely ruin your credit rating and leave you and your husband greatly burdened.
What would I do?
1. Don't sue, it's way too expensive.
2. Let her know that you will not tolerate another identity theft and will report it to the authorities if it should happen. I would be the lioness protecting my family.
3. If you are on speaking terms with your father, what does he say about all this? I'd ask. |
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peppersham
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Well you probably could but its still family after all, You will have to be the judge of that. |
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blaiseshimmer
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The credit card issue falls under identify theft, and depending on how far back in time, your mother could still be charged. Taking out a loan for her, unfortunately, was a well-intentioned by bad move, as I'm sure you found out.
You need to keep a financial distance from your mother. Don't let her blackmail you emotionally (I paid for your stuff when you were small,,,,), For some reason, she has really big issues that translate into not being able to handle money, and unless you want to further risk your own family's financial health, you need to keep her away from your pocketbook, and learn to say No.
I don't buy the 'she's your mom' stuff....your her daughter and she is taking advantage of you, whether or not she realizes it. Helping out our parents, we all do that at one time or another, but not at the risk of our own futures. |
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Morgan
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Well, I would get the lawyer and things set up, and at the same time sit down with her and tell her that I you have a family , a husband and three great kids I have to help support, and if you don't start paying me back I will be forced to sue you for the exceding payments. Tell her the things her grandchildren are missing out on without the extra money every family needs. Tell her that suing is your last option and that you may not want to cause a rift but you will do what you need to do for your family.
-----**** But first talk it over with your husband to make surew he is willing to support you through the hard time. Goodluck! |
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bull_rooster_aardvark
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Geez thats tough, I mean I think you do have grounds and should win the suit - but suing your mom is tough. Another thought is, I suspect that if you had the money easily you maybe would've just given it to her.
If it were me I'd just let it go (again) but absolutlely never lend her money again in your life (or if you do, go into the deal knowing that this is not a loan its an outright gift to your mom and never expecting to get anything back).
If you want to teach her a lesson you can take her to small claims court and you should win the suit. Then the problem comes about on collecting the money, and are you really willing to garnish your own mothers salary or force her to pay you in some other way. Just forget the whole thing, and call the $900 a lost bad debt - but never lend her money again and if you do lend her money again, its your own fault when (not if but when) she doesn't pay it back. |
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KAT188
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You should honor your mother even if she is not honorable. Your mother is playing you though. Only God can truly repay. Your mother is being selfish. You can try to sue her but it will just bring on more distress.
The best thing to is cut off your finances from her( not your life), trust her based on her actions( we all see she can't be trusted), and tell her she will have to come up with her own means of survival because you are a mother now and have your own family to care for.
Make this decision final and know that it will benefit your mother in the long run, to stop using people. You are no longer a child that lives with her, but a mother. It's your turn to be honored.
She will run over you all your life if you don't make things straight and upfront with her! She doesn't respect you, but she will learn by your example. Sometimes we teach our parents something.
I'm having strife with my mother now, but I know God will change the hearts of my family, and eventually we will speak. |
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nwtime
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You need to realize that your mom is irresponsible and the sooner you kiss the money goodbye the sooner you come to the conclusion never to let her use your name for credit again.
Also this is going to cause a problem with your personal life, if it already has not, and you need to focus on who you are responsible too and for....Your kids and husband |
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JB
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Your first responsibility is to your husband and kids. If that means suing your mom then that what you have to do. She put herself in this situation not you.
Do you have grounds to sue? You certainly do on credit card she opened in your name. You never should have been responsible for any of it.
As far as the short term loan. Do you have anything in writing? If not, it'll be tough to prove it wasn't a gift. |
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xron
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you may only have grounds to sue if you have proof that the loan/card was to be paid by you mum. otherwise it would look like a gift or favour and because it's between family members they won't find in your favour |
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Radical Raven
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I don't know if you have grounds to sue, seeing as you lended the money to her. Don't ruin anything over money, please, I would never sue my mother. |
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