luna
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You can't trust him. He's just getting comfortable: "ok I have problems and they are getting worse. I ask her to sell her stuff, she solve my own problems and I can manipulate her by telling her It's for us. I hope she doesn't realize It's just for me"
I mean, It's a lie. When something is for a couple benefit, then, both get better. In this situation only he gets better...and you?
You're right: you are being used. And think about this: maybe he won't be your partner forever, It doesn't make any sense to lose your things for a person than maybe will not be always side by side with you. |
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LAUREN K
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its just plain dodgey!!! dont do it. dont sell your house to pay off his debts. You arent married so its not like you share the debt. he got himself in this mess so its upto him to get himself out!! |
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confused
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You need to think very carfully about this man.. do you want too loose your home? Does he really love you??
He might not be thinking like you, you need to stand up and speak up!
Why do you keep helping him out with money?? You need to be cruel to be kind.. Just say NO you cant give him anymore.
Then see how he treats you? sounds to me like he doesnt care about you and is using you for money..
If your already supporting him financially now before you have a home together then how the *ell is he going to support you within the relationship and the new home 'mortgage' bills ect..
Get rid of him he will just drag you into the gutter and you will have nothing.. |
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Enigmatically Poetic
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When a guy (a self-respecting one) has financial problems, he should not go to his girl...
Because that kind of problem is a personal fight...
Look back...
How can he love you when he can't even love himself?
I'm really sorry...
I hope you have a nice day... |
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Mr Corky
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Some guys (and chicks, don't get me wrong) can lie and lie just to get outta finacial debt. If you are going to marry I'd suggest prenup. |
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Gemma
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don't do it. Your the one with the house and everything and he is trying to get his hands on it! It def seems dodgy to me, esp as he has so many legal problems. Are you sure he is not a gambler? |
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dukefan86
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You're right to listen to your gut. You need to protect your assets here. Saying "no" to him doesn't mean you love him less (and don't let him try to tell you otherwise!!). If what's his is his, the same applies to you.
If he insists on a joint account, don't put everything in there! One idea is to start with your shared expenses, if you have any, like utilities, and see how it goes. But tread carefully!
I'm reading a book now called Financial Bliss: A Couple's Guide to Merging Money Styles and Building a Rich Life Together. I ordered it from Amazon, and it's got some good advice. You might want to check it out.
Good luck! |
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alphacenturi
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You absolutely MUST NOT do this.
People with a history of bad debts don't change, they will be plagued through life with never having any money, they will always spend what they don't have just like a gambling addict.
In ten years time you will BOTH be sat there with nothing and massive debts hanging over you, it could cause a split and them what? You have no money but half of his debt!
I've seen this so many times with female friends, they have been drained of every penny and then left, don't be a complete fool.
There is something you need to do TODAY, make a list and every single little thing that you have a financial connection to this guy, any finance agreement, any bank account, any credit card and start to legally seperate yourself from them.
Cancel any joint accounts/cards or at least get your name taken off the account, go through every single little thing you can, (do it on the quiet if you have to) think of it like your with a con artist and you've sussed him out.
If this was me, i would get rid of this guy now but that's for you to decide as a seperate issue, what sort of future will you ever have with him?
Seriously, this guy is going down wether you help him or not, the question is are you going to let yourself go down with him? |
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Karen Marie
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i agree, he may be using you , and since you have never really told him no and always been there to help him with his situations. seems to me that he may be taking advantage of ya. since you already have your priorities in order and established stability there is no way i would let a man drag me down in the cutter, and besides if it was for "us" then he wouldn't be in the situation in the first place, he would be trying to better for "us" seems like he is out for "himself" any way he can.... TRUST is important and if you don't trust him it may lead to more trouble then he is worth.. TRUST ME, i was married to one of his kind, and that made me the IDIOT! good luck |
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This, That & such
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Tell you what, you want to know if he's with you for the love or for the money ?
Tell him you're inheritance has been tied up do to some court procedure and that they may even take the house and leave you only the necessary to make it by. If he runs then you know, If he sticks by then he probably does love you enough to see you through your upcoming hardship.
Good luck and be careful. |
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~♥~Bella~♥~
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Run for your life.... |
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miss (chocolate) starfish
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by questioning him means that you know something is not right
please do not sell your property and do not use your inheritance
you have every right to question him
i suggest its time to sit down with him and re-valuate the relationship |
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dave_uk06
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I don't know if its dodgy but i would certainly tell him its time he took responsibility for his financial mess, maybe he should consider bankruptcy before you both go broke.
I would stop bailing him out and see what his reaction is. |
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bob t
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there are two words you should use with this guy "Good Bye" |
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rogue
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The warning bells should be ringing very loudly!!! There is something wrong with this situation and he hasn't told the whole truth. Its not fair for you to support him and there is no way you should sell your property to dig him out of the hole. He's a big boy and needs to a) own up to his problems and b) work to solve his own problems by himself. I was used in a similar way and I can't believe how stupid I was. He is completely using you for financial purposes. Your property and your inheritance is just that; YOURS. Its especially questionable that he continues to dodge your questions, especially after you've been together for a few years. This situation isn't right... Do what YOU want with your property and save your inheritance. Stop supporting him and confront him about the issue. If he opens up and talk to you about it 100%, there might be a chance for you to stay together but if he continues to blow you off, you know there is definitely something wrong.
**I completely agree with alphacenturi. Nicely done! |
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richardhwright@btinternet.com
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now i don't know a 'ell of alot about these kinda things.
But what i do know is tht when money enters a relationship, the friendship disappears. so it's a tricky one.
but the best bet is to make him tell u straight - or maybe you could pay halve the debt on the condition tht u get ur money back within 5 years. or something
good luck i'm such it can't be an easy thing to have to go through. so all the best
rich |
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GAPO
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just pray and concentrate |
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