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Jefferson | What is the best way to stop shopping addiction or compulsive spending? |
My girlfriend is a compulsive spender. Whenever we go to the mall for a movie she always stop to buy things she doesn't really need. She have numerous pair of shoes and some she even just used once.
She also have a collection of cellphones. Every time there are new model of mobilephones she fancies, then next payday she will buy it.
My girlfriend is quite pretty and passionate. I am planning to marry her but I am thinking-twice because of her shopping addiction. Please help!
Additional Details
I have checked this site:
http://personal-finance-management.blogspot.com/2007/12/10-easy-steps-to-stop-shopping.html
Is it true that people who shop or spend compulsively get a feeling of being "high" from the experience? Then, this is a psychological malady like gambling and alcoholism?
Thanks for the advice! |
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Daniel Boone's Farm
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She needs to cut up all credit cards and ATM cards.
Forcing herself to use cash for all purchases (and going to the bank to get cash) will likely reign in her crazy spending. |
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Elizabeth
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Compulsive spending is usually a disorder that has to do with extremely low self-esteem - the idea that buying something gives the sufferer a temporary "high" that makes her feel good about herself and her world. Unfortunately, it doesn't last long and must be repeated frequently to keep that "high" going. It's like a drug.
People who are in deep have extensive credit card debt and mountains of stuff they don't use. Every time they feel bad, shopping is the cure, but it's often the cause the problems too as financial worries crop up.
If this sounds like your girlfriend (she shops to celebrate, to self-medicate, as a reward for doing well, as a feel-better when she does badly, and cannot stop - especially if she steals money or is in serious debt) then she should be in counseling. |
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hevenlyshades
 |
best thing I could suggest is to sit down and go over the budget with her, show her where she is spending money that she does not need to and then if you do a little homework first you can show her how fast that money would add up to a nice trip or a big purchase that you both want.
I am kind of a compulsive buyer myself, I buy things because they are there but if I sit down and make goals its much easier to avoid buying that new game or (insert frivolous purchase here). |
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Barbie doll lover
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Did you try communicating your feelings to her about her spending? When I met my boyfriend, I told him I love to shop and I love looking and smelling good. He had a chance at that point to make up his mind whether to stay or go. Till this day almost 5 years later he's still here. He just bought a big screen TV, (which we didn't need, we had 4 big TV already and I'm only working pt now) but he wanted it and now has to pay for it.
You have the opportunity to except people from the get go or not. Either except them and communicate your feelings or move on, but make sure you examine you motives the next time and look deep before you leap!! |
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Goodbye
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Please talk to her about it, bring it to her attention. Chances are she doesn't realize that she's addicted to shopping, just like someone that is addicted to drugs and doesn't want to admit that they have a problem.
I have had a shopping addiction myself, I am glad to say that I kicked myself out of the habit, it was tough and there's a lot to deal with but I'm facing up to it. But I do wish that my family and friends would of told me I had a problem, because I would of listened.
Try saying things like "Do you really need ANOTHER pair of shoes?" or something like "How many cellphones do you already have?" This may alert her and make her think and if she doesn't come up with good answers or just brushes it off, she's in denial and it should be dealt with before it gets worse and gets her landed in debt. |
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snow princess
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family intervention is the nice way to go...remember it is an ad dition and should be treated that way if to stop it!!! |
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Ian H.
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Let her try the net, go to the 'Gaia online' (it's like a virtual game/site and the avatars are cool!) They don't really use real money. |
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Melissa Antwort
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Check THIS out!
10 Easy Steps to STOP Shopping Addiction and Compulsive Spending (Shopaholism)
Please follow link.
http://personal-finance-management.blogspot.com/2007/12/10-easy-steps-to-stop-shopping.html
Good luck on your girlfriend! Love conquers all. |
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JAM
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that's a compulsive disorder and there are support groups for those. |
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morgan
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OK take her wallet and dont let her spend any money! |
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Princess
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If u 2 go to the mall or something just bring a limmited amount of money. If u don't have money u can't buy things. |
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xo_cuddly_kitten_xo
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Get a psychologist involved. There might be a deeper issue that causes her to spend so much. Maybe something that happened when she was young. |
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richard t
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it sounds like an addiction.............
there's AA...OA...GA....................look around there is probably a shopers anonomous.............. |
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LOL
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Talk to her about and have her see a psychiatrist. |
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