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kt | Advice for person moving out? |
i am 23 years old with a son who is 5 and i regretfully say this but i live with my annoying nagging mother who i have always lived with. i also go to college full time. i have never moved out and i need some advice. first of all do you think i should move out now or finish college? also don't you think 23 is to old to be living with your mother for gods sake! at the same time i don't want to turn out like many of my friends who droped out of college cause of finantial reasons or never went because of money issues. i was wondering does anyone have any advice on how much money to save up before moving out? also how much are utilities usually and other things i should consider? i am scared shitless about this for i am not only worried about me but about my son? perhaps you have a first time moving out story for me? thanks so much! |
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devybecca
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I take it that you are commuting to college.
I graduate and start college in January and will also be commuting.
I gave a lot of thought to the whole "moving out" ordeal.
The first thing you need to do is make a budget and find a stable well paying job.
If you are smart and use student loans, you may be able to have your rent covered in off campus housing (my sister does this.)
Make a list of your estimated expenses: car payment, groceries, cable, cleaning/laundry, clothing, entertainment and leisure, beauty products (shampoo makeup etc.), unexpected purchases, phone line and anything else you may need.
I made two columns, one for the expense then across from that i put the estimated cost.
My monthly budget was 1,280$ and i subtracted each expense from my budget. Keep in mind all of this is without taxes.
If you are living with your mother as of right now, who will take care of your child while you aren't home? You don't have to move 50 miles away from your moms house. Ask her if she would be willing to watch her grandson while you go to school and maybe help out a little.
You would be better off living an equal distance from your mom's house and from the college. (To save gas)
Another thing, make sure you open up a bank account if you dont already have one. Try to put a decent amount in from every paycheck so you have something to live on if you do happen to run out of money.
You probably have an idea of most of these things, but you really need to think hard about this decision.
If your mother doesn't have a problem with you living with her then why not just stay.. hey its free living quarters.
If you dont mind staying for a bit longer, you should save up a decent amount of money for a security deposit, and a few months of rent.. just to get yourself going and both feet on the ground.
Look around at flea markets and yard sales for furniture in good condition (or the classifieds). Instead of going and spending all of your money, you can find decent pieces for a lot less than you would normally pay.
Find ways to save money and use it towards things you are going to have to pay for in the future.
If you have any more questions you can send me a message
I hope this helps and good luck. |
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fishermanswife
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Here is my "first time moving out story" for you. When I was 15yrs. old I lived alone with my mom due to being abandoned my real dad at age 9mo. and abandoned by my adopted dad at 13 yrs. One day (age 15 yrs.) I came home from high school and my mom was gone and I've never seen her again. I guess I was one of the first homeless people as that was 1968. I finished high school and went to Houston Baptist College (not a university yet) ALL ON MY OWN. I worked alot! I did not finish college. I met a surfer on the beach during spring break and now I have been married for 30 years to the same man (my whole family surfs) and have kids age 25, 27, &29. We have 6 grand children and constantly are helping our adult children who have NEVER been married. We love our family and will always be there for them if they need us but, recently they have decided that I am "too annoying and nagging" so, they don't come around or let us see the kids. Guess what? It's WONDERFUL. My life is my own now. I don't have to worry about all their crap. I can do anything I want all day. I sleep so good. I have so much more money. I shop for myself for the first time in 30 yrs.....well, you get the point. Before you throw away your mother who has always been there for you and still is, you better mean it. Personally I don't think you are mature enough to move out and should be more concerned with how you are going to make YOUR mom feel special on this upcoming Mother's Day. By the way, all three of my kids went to college long enough to practically kill us with worry. You don't impress me, dear but, I wish you all the success in the world and a very happy life. God bless ya'll. |
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JennyJ
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My story is similar, I am 24 and have a six year old, but I moved out at 18 and let me tell you its very hard to live on your own, but its not impossible. You need to consider these very important factors in order to make your decision:
1. Child care for your son when you are at school or working
2. Do you have a reliable car in case of an emergency
3. Most important are your wages enough to cover rent, food, health insurance, child care, utilities, and gas.
4. Would you have enough time to dedicate to your son.
If your answers to any of the questions above is no then you are not ready, but you can learn and prepare for when you are. I can't really give you an estimate on living expenses because they vary from state to state. I can tell you here in South Florida you can pay about $700.00 rent for a one bedroom apartment in a so-so neighborhood not including electric. I pay about $120.00 for my daughter's health insurance alone, and day care can run for about $75.00 a week, food is maybe $400.00 a month, but we are a family of 3. Notice that I didn't include other things like clothing and stuff. Don't be scared you just have to be well prepared to keep up with all the responsibility. |
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foxxxyjank
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I would wait until you're financily independent and have enough money to support yourself. You need a lot of money to go to school and raise a kid! I was thrown out of my house at 18..and trust me, you're lucky you're mom lets you stay there! |
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xo_hippie_xo
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its not to old to be living with mother,to move you'll need atleast 2 thousand dollars.stay with mommy |
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Josh
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good luck |
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Joseph
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I think you should finish up college first. I don't know youre financial situation but if it is hard for you it will be just as hard for your son. You need to know how much you make take out all of your expenses take out what the rent you may be looking at, then maybe 200 more dollars just to be on the safe side for utilities. Then you still have food to buy, toilet paper, shampoo, etc. cable and gas for your vehicle. Then see how much you have left. If it doesn't look to good then maybe its not time for you to move out |
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Olorunsegunfumi
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I advise you to stay where you are for your own good and of your little son. |
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stigma138
 |
Move after college, it will be easier. I moved during college and it was hard. |
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zoeboxcat
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Dude, stay at home and finish college. Trust me, it's really hard out there, especially with a child, to work and put yourself through school. |
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vieja
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if she is annoying and nagging and you have always lived with her,you are using your mother.is that fair?you have a son,do you want him feeling towards you like you feel towards your mom? your focus is on money and using good ol' mom.move out and hurry.and you should be scared, you brought a child in the world for your mom to support. go tell it to oprah.. |
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JC
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I would stay at home and finish college, then move out. Will be alot easier for both of you. It is hard having to work, go to college and take care of a child. Trust me, my friend is doing that, and she rarely sees her son, cause she is always gone. So, I would recommend staying at home for a little longer until you finish school and get a good enough job to pay your bills. I don't think 23 is too old, I have a friend who is 27 living at home raising her kid. All that matters is if your child is happy right now living with you and grandma. If so, then wait til you get out of college. Get an apartment, and to find out how much utilities are, you can usually ask the apartment place that you plann on renting from and they should tell you to help you budget you finances. Try to have a month or two worths of income in savings before you move, just incase something ever happens. You will have some money. |
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firstimer
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I had my son one week before I turned 19. When I was 20 I got my own apartment, started college full time and got a full time job. I was at school from 8-3 daily and from 4-11 at my job. Weekends consisted of 2-12 hour shifts. My poor son!!! I just kept telling myself that I was doing this for him. If I was a single parent and had to do it all over again you bet your butt I would live with my mom this time around to save money. 23 is not too old to live with your mother and I would venture to say that it is good for your son as well provided the two of you don't argue etc. in front of him. As for saving money...save as much as you possibly can because once you are on your own it does not last long at all. Not getting along with your mom is a small sacrifice to make to ensure a better future for your child. Good luck. |
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*dj.girl#7*
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well see i have moved once only...but before my parents made this decision they made sure that 100% they have found the appartment they wanted in that area and made sure that we can cover the costs and that its 100% in need of...
in your case you shall finish college and then you would have a stronger reason to move without telling your mom that its because of her...ok the way u can calm your son down is by making him feel secure and show him that all his toys and clothes are packed and show him pictures of the new place or tell him how it looks like and how your lives will hopefully change to the better...
most importantly calm your self down and make sure you need this move-out even if you may consider problems later in life...to keep in touch with your friends first make sure they know your new cell phone # or home phone # and keep on calling them from time to time and send emails what ever you can do but dont lose your friendship..
i've experienced this! i wish you luck..and ya this is the age where you live alone! +dont drop off college! and think deeply into this and talk to your mom about it..
*dj* |
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serenityfuneralservice1
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First, find the area you want to live in,schools, bus routes, grocery store places you can walk to. You will need first, last months rent anywhere from 50% to 100% of the rental price for damage deposit. Rent =750.00 a month you will need about $1500.00 plus moving costs. P/S pretty high right now. Summer is comming,P/S will be lower, you're not burning any heat, but when winter hits look out! Price the area comparitively. Even set up showings, don't sign ANYTHING. Look for security for you and your child, Police stations close, well lit entrances and exits. How long do you have left in school. If not to long stay home to save money. Take weekends with your child. Rent a room, order pizza, movies. Chill out for a couple days, go home and do it all over again. Don't let even your momma derail you from your goals and aspirations. You do have a child |
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