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James | I'm 16, my fiance is 21, can we get an apartment together? |
We're in Virginia. I do have permission from my mother to live with him. Can we get an apartment together? If so how can we go about it? (He's military if that matters)
Additional Details
It's spelled pedophile, not "petifile" or the few other misspellings I've seen so far. (Please, if you want to insult him, at least spell the word properly!) I'm 16. Not 6. If anything he would be a ephebophile.
I'm asking for real answers. Not "You're too young". I know I'm young, and I know a lot of you will disagree with it, but that's not what I'm asking. I'm asking if we can get an apartment together. Please leave it at that. |
 |
 
The Darkness Returns
 |
If he's military that definitely matters because the military will not tolerate any time of fraternization with a minor because they can use military judicial action against him which in turn could cause him to lose rank and money or both. You need to think about this before you harm your fiance military career. Enjoy. |
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TennisLover
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Do things that teenagers do and stop trying to rush your life. You are only a kid once.....SO HAVE FUN! |
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Stuart
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Nope.
In Virginia, a child of 16 cannot be involved in a relationship with an adult of 21.
He can be put in prison for statutory rape and contributing to the delinquency of a minor and child abuse.
Sorry, hon. Wait a couple of years. |
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jimdotedu
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In most states your finance could be charged with statutory rape |
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megs
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he is a pedaphile. It is against the law and he can get in alot of trouble. Be careful... |
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jimobasa
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In the eyes of the law, you are a child until you are 18 |
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VLR
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no that makes him a petifile and no affense but thats creepy |
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lilkrazyme3
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TOOO YOUNGGG!!!!! |
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Hi its me again
|
No. go home and finish school.You will only be able to get military housing if he's married and he doesn't make enough money in the military for an apt. you'll have to get a job then and forget about school. or dating or going out with your girlfriends and shopping. No more will you enjoy the pleasures of being 16 because after being thrown into adulthood you'll have only one worry, BILLS,BILLS,BILLS and how you are going to pay for them and food and clothes and housing.?
Go home and get a grant for College through the lottery, get a job to help your schooling then have a life that is better than you would otherwise. Otherwise, play house like I know you'll do anyway, then regret it in 16 years when your a grandmother at age 32 |
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kja63
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James, James, James. You are only 16 and your 21 year old military "fiance" has no business being with a child -- that makes him a pedophile and possibly guilty of statutory rape (if you are sleeping with him) depending on the laws of your state.
You need to finish school. He needs to concentrate on his military service, including the possibility that he might be shipped out overseas.
I'm assuming you are gay (not that there's anything wrong with that), and this adds an extra dimension of complexity to the whole scenario, including added stress for a military man that he probably doesn't need. Please rethink this. If it's meant to be, it will be -- after you finish school. It's only another 2-3 years.
ADDITION: The fact that you even know what an ephebophile is tells me that your relationship is on the WRONG track. You may be post-pubescent but your "education" has taken you way off base. Forget sex with the 21 year old and concentrate on your school work. All it will take is one phone call to the Armed Forces branch your "fiance" serves, and he will be thrown in the stockades for conduct unbecoming a soldier, contributing to the delinquency of a minor, and whatever other charges they can come up with. Then there will be no apartment, no sex, and no way for you to earn a living except out on the street! |
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babydoll53175
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your mother would probably have to legally emancipate you in the eyes of the court.... |
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precious
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You are 16 why are you with someone 21?... Another question why would your mom agree to let you move in with someone who is 21? He is a pedophile.. He is with u because he can't handle a adult.. You are easy manipulated and that is sad that he is taking advantage of you like that... |
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T.Sweet
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your fiance will have to get the apartment by himself since you are only 16. a little young dont ya think? dont forget the fact that you are still underage, that will bring up many problems that people wont deal with. |
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M0nster
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ROFLMAO.. pedofile.. man, you girls give your life too young to a man thats older that will just toss you to the side when another woman comes by, just stay at home, finish school, go to post secondary school, and get a job, BEFORE YOU DECIDE TO MOVE IN WITH A GUY... please, we need more doctors, were in a shortage. |
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snugglebunny
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NO YOU'RE 16.
Do you have any idea what that will do to his military record?? And how long is he going to be IN Virginia? What if he gets shipped out and now YOU have to deal with the bills and rent and laundry and grocery shopping??
Dear god, are you still in SCHOOL? Do you WORK?
I'm from Va Beach myself and there's no way I would ever consider those barracks or base housing. Nasty. But an apartment with a 21 year old soldier? Apartments at the Beach or Norfolk or Little Creek are expensive and unkempt, due to marketing to soldiers. Are you going to keep house? Are you old enough to DRIVE? In VA, It's 16 and 3 months before you get your license, so you probably can't even DRIVE yet.
Don't you think living at home rent-free is preferable? I was kicked out of my house when I was 17 because I went against my parents wishes and applied to college -- Those years when you are just starting out are MISERABLE, and being underage is nearly impossible.
You sound like an intelligent girl, and there's no need for you to be browbeaten over this. But you need to think clearly about the implications of this decision.
Yes, your fiancee could get the apartment. But at what cost to you, your family, your relationship, his career ... ? Are you going to work, or is his paycheck expected to care for TWO people? What happens to you if his commanding officers find out? What happens to his credit if he finds he CAN'T pay the bills, and what happens to yours if you have to start working? How will you get to a job or school? Are you going to finish school? Are you going to go to college, and if so, what will the two of you do then??
Look out for number one, dude. |
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isela e
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geese is that still going on these days???? 16 year old getting married and parents allowing it? Sounds to me like your mom just wants to get you out of the house and you want to play doll house and your man wants to get some from a little one! But I suggest you just stay at home and have your mom continue doing everything for you i mean its not like you know how to wash your own underwear yet! |
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Deliah
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I certainly hope not you are a CHILD! Are you in school? Do you plan to graduate? Do you want more from your life than just barely squeezing by each month?
Do not be stupid you do know this is statutory RAPE right? |
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katydint
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You're under 18, and you want to put this soldier in jeopardy? He could go to jail for cohabiting with you. |
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Robb
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It would only be in his name. Unless you get an act of emancipation, which I doubt you want. |
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rockgirlfury
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your still 16 your mother your legal guardian, there might be a few problems, but if i was you i would call your sheriff office, and just ask them they might know...
If not them then call his sgt. because the military does has certain rules about things like those.
They may actually try to charge him themselves, because they have a no tolerance policy for that underage stuff.
He knows this is wrong, and if anyone on here knows you and who you are they should be calling his plattoon sgt., or his commander, adultery, underage dating, drinking and driving, all those things that are illegal in real life are 100 times more illegal in the military.
Ive been in the military, and i know what it is like to have to charge someone wih something like that. |
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Smelly Cat
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I'd wait till you're 18 and finish high school. The chances of this relationship lasting that long are well under 50%. BTW, he can be arrested for stat. rape. And why is he even with a minor in the first place ? He can even get in trouble with the military ! |
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fyrecrowe
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Him being military does matter, I think. Might want to check the UCMJ on what constitutes child molestation as state laws are superceded by UCMJ.
Even if you have permission...which in my opinion means you MOM doesn't care enough to actually raise you, the military may not approve and can actually throw him in the brig, stockade etc. as well as dishonorably discharge him. He should have a copy or at least have access to the uniform Code of Military Justice. |
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Jennifer D
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You are more then likely going to have to sign a contract and most apartments do background and credit checks you are not legally old enough to sign a contract the apartment may only be able to go under his name - unless the landlord is willing to let your mother sign the lease for you - |
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TomHyberger
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Emancipation is the only way to do it without having problems down the road. |
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crankyissues
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I was 17 when I moved into my own apt. in Oklahoma- My mom had to "cosign" (for lack of a better term) I guess it was more like "consent" to let me move out. I don't know the Virginia laws, but you could easily find out from a local property management company. |
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Andy
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The only way this could ever happen is by your parents permission & come on finish high school & go on to college . If u think that u have all of it planned out think again. First off do u expect him to pay all of tyhe bills like the light, gas, groceries, electricity, rent, phone. Also if you decide to go to college which I hope u do there's lab, tuition, books to pay for. Now that's another bunch of money Ask your mom how much is all of that. Once u r married forget about going out friday & Saterday nights you'll be struggaling going to school & a job cuz he would probably want u too help with the bills. I know this cuz my fiance wants & expects that of me & I'm 23. See u r young u should enjoy yuor life more & so should he. He should finish college too (If he's not done) & if he dose love u he should wait 4 u to find a career u want & get it then get engaged. Another thing is children. If u thought that maybe I'll go to college when my children start school cuz it sounds easy well u r definatly wrong on that.Children are also expensive & Imagine comming home from work kids come through the door as soon as u begin to study your man isn't home yet & 1 says mom I want u to play with me & the other says I'm hungry have to put everything down. Once u think that's setteled your hubby enters the door & u have to set dinner, wash the dishes, do the laundry, clean the bedrooms & so on. Now u have to put the kids to bed after u bathed them. Sure u may say my husband can help but what if he comes home late from work & he's so tierd he hits the bed. U r on your own. So think about it do u want the begining of that or do u want to explore more of life before one day u look at your life & wish you did have more fun with your friens & had a longer social life or do u really want to grow up really really fast. |
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Mr. Georgia
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You're too young to move in with him normally..... You could just go live with him and not own the apartment. He's 21 I would guess he could pay for it anyway. |
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Dr. Deth
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you're not old enough to enter into a contract (a lease). You have to be 18 to do that. |
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T I
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My parents got married at that age (but dad was 22) And they got a divorce. I saw them grow apart, cause my mom who was young, grew up while in the relationship. Priorities change when you get older. Please think about this some more. Why not wait till you are 18?
Very ironic, that my father was in the military also. This is not a easy life either. You will have to move around alot. He will have to leave you behind sometimes. And if you have kids, they have to go to new schools, and find new friends all the time. Not a life for everyone. Think about what kind of life you want to have. Good luck. |
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jitterbugj
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You are not of legal age to sign a contract until you are 18. With your parents permission you could live there with him (if the apartment complex has no issues with him having you there) but you cannot legally be on the rental agreement.
If you are that independent you should go to court and have yourself legally emacipated. It is just a quick court hearing that shows the court you are capable of taking care of yourself financially and can live independently. Once you do that you can enter into a legal contract. |
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Tracey Y
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Has your fiance read anything from the Military Code of Justice? You are not going to be able to get on the lease of the apt until you are either married or turn 18. The reason is that you cannot be held legally responsible for paying rent or for damages until you are considered an adult.
Are you in school?
Law in Virgina states legal age to consent is 18
A person 18 and older having sex with a 13- or 14-year-old faces a felony
charge, which carries a punishment of two to 10 years in prison and up to a
$100,000 fine. A person 18 and older having sex with someone age 15, 16 or 17
faces a misdemeanor, punishable by up to one year in jail and a $2,500 fine.
Also, not wanting to insult you intelligence, but your fiance would be considered an ephebophile, if he were only attracted to underage children. For you sake I hope that is not the case. |
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