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I am a struggling student an oh how my life would be made easier through the kind donation of someone more fortunat than I! Miracles truly do happen!
Additional Details
Just a note had ... |
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 Is a 4-bedroom house bettter than a 3-bedroom one? |
| I'm looking for a house with the aim of selling it in about 7 - 10 years time. At the area I'm looking at, there are some 4-bedroom houses which is priced similarly as a 3-bedroom one. C... |
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dantesmuze | I own my own home and significant other moved in, how much should he contribute? |
I own my own home but he indicates that he shouldn't have to pay for 50% of the mortgage, as he gains no benefit. Is this fair? He pays out approximately 50% of his monthly income to his ex for child support and spousal maintenance. An amount he came up with, not the lawyers. When he has his kids, they come to my house. He wants to get married, I don't, so what would be a fair split in expenses? I'm also looking at adding onto my house as I only have one full bath....how does the added mortgage then get calculated into the expenses...he knows of the addition and thinks it's a great idea...how is this settled? Is money the relationship killer? |
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Princess Leia
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He should pay 1/2 the expenses, plus a reasonable amount for rent (even if it's not 1/2 the mortgage - calculate the amount that it would cost to rent a home and have him pay 1/2). |
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bpl
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I think he should contribute an amount that you two have decided. I think the communication is very important. |
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Garbanzo
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No, it's unfair to make him pay half the mortgage. He does not get half of the house. He should help with half the utilities however. Whatever you choose to do to your house is your decision, he has no say in it, so it would be unfair to make him pay for half of it. Determine the value of your home, and if you were to rent a room, how much would you charge? That should be the amount he pays.
If you have problems with money now, it is never a good sign. Perhaps engage a lawyer to help settle this? Since you have no plans to marry, this will have to be a long term solution that you both can agree on. Difficult situation. Good luck! |
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Waterwitch E
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You are letting him get away with murder. Who cares about the ex?!?! The kids are at your place, he isn't paying his share, tell him to GET ANOTHER JOB!!!! If you two are going to make it he has to do his part. Don't let him manipulate you in to thinking that it wouldn't be fair because he gains no benefit! He just doesn't want to pay! |
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sursumcorda
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Look at rental rates in your area and charge him 1/2 of the average. For example if a similar house to yours rents for $2,000 a month, he should be paying you $1,000 a month. Also he should foot 1/2 of the utility bills. You are totally responsible for the mortgage, taxes and insurance. I don't think he has any financial responsibilty for the addition since the house in yours and any increase in value will only benefit you. Money is only a relationship killer, if you don't talk things out and agree on an equitable payment plan. He sounds like a guy who loves his kids and takes responsibility for them. This is a good quality. Just realize that his children will always come first with him. |
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goz1111
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be careful by making him pay half the note, he may in the eyes of the law by the fact of paying have the total expenses including the note has built equity in your house and will be entitled to such equity for the time he paid half the note |
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dancingcrow350
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50/50 sounds fair, but I can see his argument about no return on the investment. But you did say he wanted to get married? then he should have an interest, whether or not you want to. If he houses his children there the 50/50 is reinforced (and that goes for utilities too). Try looking for an apartment or house you think he would rent/buy for himself and see what those payments are... probably more than 50 percent. it was his choice to give that much of his income to the ex, it's not your expense. It's not a matter of how much extra he puts on the bills, it's about having the luxuries the bills pay for, and sharing them! I'm sure an apartment will compare in cost but is often less desirable than a house of your own! |
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muncie birder
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You need to remind him that there is taxes, insurance, maintenance and I will be willing to bet if you look at your mortgage payment most of it is going towards interest and not principal. He should cough up at least 1/2 the interest, 1/2 the insurance, 1/2 the taxes and 1/2 the maintenance which includes electricity, water, and sewer. If he does not wish to, you should find another significant other. Someone who is willing to carry his own weight. Also 2/3 the groceries, since I bet he eats more than you. |
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nth_iq
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if he doesn't want to pay half of the mortgage, at least he should pay half the utilities. that way the house is still all yours.
he has an ex & kids? you must love him alot to be with him, not many people want someone with baggage, and he's paying out to them too. I'm not sure why he'd want to marry again, since how it turned out the last time for him.
do you plan to have kids with him? I need more info... |
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proactiveindy
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Many relationships end due to money issues, usually a lack of money. If your significant other did not live with you then I assume he would have to pay rent somewhere. Since he has kids, a one bedroom is out of the question, so he needs something bigger. What do rents in your area run right now for a 2 br or bigger? He would also have to pay utilities for that place (gas, electric, water, phone,cable). It seems to me he gets a huge benefit out of living in your house. On a separate issue, you sound as though you are not looking too long term on your relationship. Your question seemed a little angry with regard to what he pays in support, also his kids coming to your house and the wear and tear they put on the house. Money can kill a relationship, but it sounds to me like other factors are present in yours which need to be addressed as well |
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Drew
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It's more than fair, as he'd have to pay rent somewhere.
The only thing you have to keep in mind that once he moves in and stays for a while, you cannot just suddenly evict him, should things go sour. You will have to give him a written notice, just as you would if he were your tenant.
As for the addition, you may have to eat the costs, since it's your house and you'll be benefitting from the changes if you should decide to sell.
I think you're smart to think about these things up front. If your significant other isn't happy...better to know it now, than to wait until after he's unpacked. |
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Craig T
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JMHO, but why are you letting him move in? He gains no benefit? OK, then he can just keep paying rent and all the other associated expenses of a place to live.
Just from what little you have written here, I'd say your relationship is already in trouble and headed for a rocky end. |
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godged
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Money can be a relationship killer. But it is good to engage these issues early in a relationship, because if you are honest about money, you can identify areas of incompatibility between the two of you early.
A fair split of expenses should be based on income. If one makes significantly more than the other does, divy expenses accordingly. If one partner brings in 70% of the money, they can pay 70% of the bills. He can also contribute to the cost of the remodel since he lives there.
He should pay his share of things, the benefit to him is a place to live. Does he expect to live rent free? Half the mortgage is only part of the story, what about utilities, insurance, taxes, consumable goods - how are these things being divided?
Ask him if he should revisit his child and spousal support. He may be paying more than he needs to, at a time when he should be putting money aside for his children's educational needs and such.
Don't consider marriage yet. Figure out a harmonious balance in your financial life before you walk down the aisle.
Good luck to you! |
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Alterfemego
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Ya know what, if that is his attitude, I'd have say "here's the door", don't let it hit you in the *** on your way out!
If you are committed to a relationship, it should be shared equally.
I would be careful how you handle things. In some states living together is consider "married" - common law married. And he could get 1/2 if you were to split. |
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Mari
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He should pay half is like if you guys lease something together it isnt benefiting anyone but you still are in it together. |
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saberhilt
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Money can be a relationship killer, but you're both up front about money owed, you can make it work.
My parents openned a joint account to pay house bills out of. They each contributed an equal share to cover the bills, plus an extra cushion each month if they could.
You might suggest that he pay for the add-on. =)
How much is rent in your area for a 1-bedroom unit? That might be a good place to start... |
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Terry S
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Money is ALWAYS the relationship killer!
Smart girl for NOT wanting to get married (Especially to this guy).
Find someone who makes enough money where half the rent is "NO BIG DEAL"
Here's what you want.
Half the rent honey? that's more than fair since I don't have alimony and child support to my ex wife.
Here's the reality your in now:
Half the rent honey? Can't afford it since I'm paying half of my income to ex for child support and spousal maintenance.
He should pay half, but since he can't afford it due to his choosing the wrong spouse and having kids, looks like you're out of luck.
Find another one, this time without the kids and child support. |
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Sophie B
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How much advantage or disadvantage do you have?
What he pays for child support is his problem, they are his kids.
If he is using half of everything then everything should be split down the middle.
However if it was me, I would ask him to pay the utilities and the grocery bill, and I would go the mortgage and related stuff alone.
That way when you throw him out in a couple of months, it won't be as hard to get back to normal... |
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njunprincess
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I didn't know responsibility like this was based on a percent of un-used income. Especially since he wants to marry you and BE YOUR PARTNER. It is a responsibility he is enjoying with you. Don't get into a habit of keeping chart on who flushed and how many times to be able to distribute the water bill properly. It's not your fault he wants to take care of his ex more than he does you. How much would it cost HIM if he were to rent an apartment with the proper number of bedrooms for the kids? Probably about half your Mtg payment & he'd loose that much loved privacy to boot. I wouldn't marry him yet...let him get over his ex first. |
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harleysangel2000
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He should pay half of everything, plus his own expenses unless it was areed upon before he moved in that he wouldn't have to split the bills. Sounds to me like he wants a free ride. |
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