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pocketmouse23 | Is it right to ask your rich inlaws for help when buying a house? |
Additional Details
well, they are pretty rich...
and we are pretty poor so it seems fair.
or am i crazy? why dont they offer??
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 |
 
acermill
|
It is NEVER correct to ask relatives for financial assistance. If they OFFER it, that is a different scenario. Assuming that they know you are buying a house and have not offered to chip in at this point, it's safe to assume that they do not WANT to chip in.
Leave it at that and seek conventional financing. |
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Landlord
|
I am not sure what "seems fair". They are successful, you are not. There is a reason for that. You may want to ask them for advice on getting your act together so you can help yourselves.
My expedience "helping" relatives with purchasing homes (yes I have done it) is not good. They are "poor" because of their choices, which do not change. They end up either loosing the house or asking me for another "help".
Also, "rich" is very subjective. I think I need about 9 million in cash and land before I can feel comfortable retiring. I am at 7 million now. I am not "rich", just preparing to retire in a few years. Any loans I give out will have to be replaced, most likely by ME. Your inlaws may be in the same situation. |
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dzwreck
|
As long as the help you are asking for is in the form of a loan that you will do everything in your power to pay back, yes it is OK. However, borrowing from family can often turn bad and cause turmoil amongst family members if the borrower does not follow through and pay the money back. Good luck and there is nothing wrong with asking for assistance, especially if you plan to pay it back. |
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Charley
|
If you have never asked them for anything nor ever went to visit ..No, it's not right.
Maybe it would be wise to ask them how you can acquire a home and how to budget. They are rich for doing something right. |
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cinnatigg
 |
Depend on how well you get along with your in-laws before you needed something. Like for instance, I have one set of in-laws (hubby's father's parents) that would do anything for me. Then you have the other in-laws that wouldn't. So it really depends on your previous relationship with them, how much you are borrowing, and how much you plan to pay back a month. |
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Dana Weasley
 |
No. They should buy the whole house! |
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Austin W
|
Some families consider this quite normal. Others get very upset about the whole idea. Your rich inlaws may be very concerned about retirement, and they may feel that since you're married, housing yourself and your spouse is your responsibility.
If you're retired or getting there, the definition of "rich" is very different than it is when you can look forward to years of earning potential. |
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006
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Probably better to have your spouse ask if it's possible and say you don't know (s)he's asking. Either that or go to them together. |
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hollywoodmelody
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They won't help you unless your willing to help yourselves as well. If they help you with money, it will be considered a "gift" and will have to be a letter in writing and on the contract and escrow instructions saying so.
The bank will also take note of this. |
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rockabettygal
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Just make a point to talk about "how much effort it is to save" but that you are "making it a priority" because you really feel that you need to settle into a home soon. Maybe they will get the hint. You can also mention that your parents will try to help you out as much as they can - a little guilt/competition can't hurt.
There is nothing wrong with asking for help as long as they won't hold it above your head. Just make sure that you don't go for a more expensive house just because you have a larger down payment. Your mortgage should be about 25% of your total monthly income. |
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bostonianinmo
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Sure! Been there, done that! Just keep it all legal so there are no repercussions in the future. |
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shamieya
 |
Yes; they probably want to help you. |
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zento1110
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You will end up owing more than money. If you start getting money from them that will give them the right to tell you how to live. Keep that in mind. |
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halestrm
 |
Only if you want to owe them for the rest of your life. Depending on their attitude, any assistance, even if paid back can "downgrade" you and your spouse for life. |
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Bobyns
|
Well,
That would be your spouses department since they are that side of the family.
It would just depend upon the family.
Some familes have no problem with lending or giving relatives money other familes want people to manage home buying themselves.
Nowadays it seems like you have to have help to get a nice place. |
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carol
 |
it depends on your situation. If you've done the right thing and just need a little help momentarily, then it's OK. Make sure you have a plan to pay them back with interest and draw up paperwork to make it legal.
If you want to ask just b/c they are rich and you want something more than you will ever be able to afford yourself, then NO! It's not OK. It's selfish and greedy. |
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