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kazwaz01 | Is owning your own home everything? |
I am 30 and live with my partner and 3 year old son.
At the moment we are renting our house and it is really getting me down. I want the security of owning our own home but when we tried for a 100% mortgage we were refused and offered a 95% one, but didn't have the £5,000 deposit.
I feel like a failure and feel that people look down on us because we rent. My partner works hard but the pay isn't that good so I can't see us ever buying a house.
I feel really bad for feeling like this, but I can't help it. I want another baby but won't have one while we are renting because I haven't got that security. I already feel guilty because if something happened to me and my partner, my son won't get anything left to him.
Everyone tells me I'm being silly, and that it's no big deal, but the people who say that to me have their own homes so don't have to worry about it.
Are they right though? Should I just forget it and accept that I am going to live in other peoples houses the rest of my life
Additional Details
I can't work HAPPY MAN!!!!! My son isn't in school yet and I look after him all day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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solosam
 |
good question. i really do understand where u are coming from. everyone seems to strive to own their own homes and i think a lot of people sacrifice other things in their life in order to do so. what is the big deal with home ownership? u work Ur **** off paying a mortgage for 20/30 years then its yours, then if u die a few years later somebody else strikes it rich and inherits it without having as much as lifted a finger!!
you mention that you would like to leave something for your son and i understand that but the best thing you can do for your son is bring him up and provide for him as best u can and that's all that really matters.
at 30 u are still young and circumstances will change, don't lose sleep dreaming of owning a house, life's too short.
all the best. |
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mrsc
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we have been married for 24 years, have 2 kids and still live in rented accomodation and it doesnt bother me one bit. |
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cope_acetic
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A couple things were left out...do you work? If not, get a part time job and start socking that money away toward the $5000. If you DO work, maybe you can pick up more hours, or a night-time job so you don't have to pay daycare.
If that is your dream, GO FOR IT! It will take some work, but you can do it. I feel much like you do--there is definitely security in owning land. I got this house in my divorce, but I had to quit smoking cold turkey to help afford the payments--I was smoking away $250 per month! Perhaps you can look for hidden things to cut out and stash the money away.
Good luck! |
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vici
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my husband and i bought our house 2 years ago, we were very very lucky, but we have no children
the reason we wanted to buy is because when we retire we will have no rent or mortgage to pay, as the house will be paid off
but it really is hard,
i think it is up to you, at the end of the day their are people a lot worse off, you have health roof over your head some cash and food and a family you obviously really adore,
dont accept anything you dont want, if you feel really strongly about this, make yourself a 5 year plan at the end of which the aim is to buy your own home
we had one on it said things like how are we going to do this
we needed to buy and pay for our own car, save money no takeaways, and get rid of all our depts
we didi it
if it is really what you want then go for it
just dont compromise any happiness that you have now
what about the schemes that you buy half and the council buys half, i dont know much about them do they do this in your area
best wishes to you and your family
xxxx vici |
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bertameno
|
Get life insurance, this will be very good for your kids if something did happen. Renting is not bad.
If you live happly and debt free sometimes its better than having a home with huge bills and stress that might mess up your life. (personal and financial) |
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David P
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Owning will take you 25 to 30 years to achieve, even if you were able to get a loan.
You don't realy own the property until the loan is repaid.
These days, many people are taking on loans and finding themselves unable to keep up the payments, so even after paying in a lot of money, the house is reposessed and they loose everything.
There is nothing wrong with renting, and in your position, I think that it is the better option for you. |
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Morrissey
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Don't buy into this crassly rampant consumerism. Rise above it. Don't follow the other material obsessed lemmings off the cliff of life.
Consider your very existence on this planet instead. Read a book or visit an art gallery. You'll thank me for it. |
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Lee Lee
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I think that you just have to do the best you can, many people rent and you know what if something happened to you or your partner your son would get charged 40% inheritence tax, if you're in the UK. So maybe it's best that you're renting.
You're son is not going to think any less of you for renting, it's hard enough in this country to even get on the property ladder. Its the governments mess up not yours so don't feel guilty. Your friends probably brought their houses before the house prices went crazily high. From the impression i get of you, you're a stay at home mum like me and although you could get a job that pays, you're spending the most important time of your sons life at home with him and thats priceless.
Don't be so hard on yourself!! I wish you and your family all the best :) |
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LeAndra
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There is nothing wrong with renting. Owning a house is not EVERYTHING but it is a great investment and can drastically improve your financial wealth. It's also really a great time to buy. |
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robert w
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OWNing a home is NOT everything.
so relax and hug ur kids and 'partner'.
a HOME is where u make it, not a house.
buying a house is more expensive than people want to believe and often becomes a dead skunk/polecat around ur neck.
as for expanding family isn't that counterproductive to ur dreams? and would definitely put u behind on cash.
as for some thing happening to u that is why u have life insurance - much cheaper than a house and easier to move.. why u have education.
as for partner's dead end earnings he and u can visit library . it is where most wealthy or wannabe people started out.
never ever buy a house when u don't have money.
never ever purchase a house with a partner - it is a legal financial emotional money nightmare when things go bad and they do. get married or have a legal contract drawn up including how to dissolve the partnership. Univ of Hard Knocks |
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ricky
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Hi I'm 40 and lived in my council house for 12 years and then had a brain wave that i wanted to buy it. because like yourself i thought that i should get on the property ladder.
but in retrospect I'm not so sure that Ive made the right move.
Ive owned it for 4 years now.
and there is so much pressure to keep on working to pay the mortgage. although in 24 years Ive always worked. but I'm in a job i don't really like. and find it hard to get another job with enough pay to pay the mortgage.
even if i sold my house, because the housing market is so high ,price wise i would have to extend my mortgage to keep up and buy a house of equal size (3 bed semi). if i was still in my council owned house and i lost my job i would get help with any arrears i accumulated.
don't be so hard on your self the fact you've tried to do right by your family says your a caring spouse and father
best wishes and good luck. |
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wordmaster
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Owning your own home together is great, it is a great asset and it opens a huge doorway to credit. However it completely sucks whenn you split up or get a divorce. I ended up paying half the mortgage for three months on top of my own rent until it was sold. Stick to renting, it is safer. |
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Doktorr Hoo
 |
The most important and valuable thing which you have is...
each other. It is far more important than owning a home. My advice would be to try not to get stressed about the lack of home ownership. You do not want to look back on some of the best years of your life to see that you worried and were stressed when you could be enjoying your son's growing up and enjoying your small loving family - something which many people with their own home would probably sell their soul (and home) to have.
You must not feel guilty as you are doing the that best you can. |
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dinky
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even if you own your own home it could still go into negative equity with the direction of the housing market at the moment. wait for the housing market to calm down first. |
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Kat
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Owning your own home is hard work and a lot of worry and yes your family benefit when you are gone but we dont really.. |
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Sam
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I oddly agree with people on both sides of this argument.
I've just bought a home and I've always felt that the capital I'm building is beneficial in the long run. It's also a better investment than any other for security.
In my opinion a mortgage is investment and rent is money for nothing.
However, not everything is black and white.
If I had no choice but to rent, I'd still be happy. You're providing a home for your child, and everything else s/he needs, so don't worry.
Many prefer to rent as either i) they like the freedom to be able to move on without selling or ii) they're worried that if they buy and house prices plummet, they're be in negative equity.
If you can cope financially and you have a place to live, I wouldn't worry about whether you own or rent.
Perhaps look at shared ownership to lower the cost of the house, or get a loan from a family member for the deposit? I know that sounds easier than it actually is.
I only found a deposit by asking my parents to apply for a loan for me and I pay it through them. |
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lianne
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I would never want to own my own home in this day and age. The property market goes up and down up and down, to many threats like flooding. |
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Robin
 |
I am 52 and am a council tenant. I feel extremely lucky that we do not own our house. I personally, think you have the best security in not owning your own home. We could not get a 100% mortgage when we applied 5yrs ago and to this day, I am so glad. We do not have to worry about any major work being done as that is down to the Council. Those people you know who own their own homes certainly worry more than you do. You are not living in other people's houses. You are living in the home that you have made. |
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shiprepairwoman
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Wait until you are married to buy a house. Buying with a friend can cause a mess. Save your money for a down payment and closing cost and earn as much as you can. I am single too and bought my house alone, I have a boyfriend but wouldn't consider buying a house with him. |
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kim
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It is a good investment to buy a house because you will have asset, but I wouldn't risk it if you know you cannot afford it. The Risk is loosing your house to forclosure because you were late a couple times in paying your mortgage.
So my suggestion is buy when you are really ready, don't rush! |
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sanjose.ellis
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It is your choice to accept your current situation or to find ways to improve it. Home ownership is not essential to happiness in, however financial stability is.
Get educated on how to create more income & financial stability & then learn creative ways to buy a home. |
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Happy Man
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You could get a job yourself and stop moaning. |
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