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eastcoastdebra | Is there a way I can officially/legally ban my boyfriend's son from the house? |
I have been having problems with my bf son for years. Last few times he was at the house he was horrible and I told my bf I didnt want the kid at the house indefinitly.Last night my BF had him stop by the house without asking me first. I am scared of this kid, I locked myself in the bedroom,and I am still a nervous wreck.He is 13 but is very big and strong for his age, and very unstable...cruelty to animals, violence, etc.He called when he was a minute up the road with his mother.He just walked in the door, no ringing the bell or anything. He hasnt done anything to me (yet) that would justify a restraining order, if I can even get one against a 13 year old, but I was thinking of sending a letter to my bf by certified mail telling him the kid is NOT welcome at the house(that I own) Before you call me selfish, remember that I am scared for my safety, or what he might do to the house, car, etc.I am sitting at work with my stomach in knots. The kid has shoved me more than once, I'm done |
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Lori K
 |
Yes, get a restraining order. It may ruin your relationship with your BF, but if he can't respect your rules, AND if he has raised such a monster anyway, I'd have him out the door so fast his head would be spinning. |
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europa312
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Sounds like something you should talk to your boyfriend about. This kid is troubled and is part of the package- so if you can't handle it you should consider ending the relationship. You told your boyfriend and he still had the kid come over. It sounds like the poor kid needs some real help. |
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goz1111
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if you can not work this out with your boyfriend you need to drop him like a rock |
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cinderfella
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your going to have to tell your boyfriend straight...im guessing it's going to cause a strain - you can't expect him to sacrifice his son!! so you've got a tricky decision to make...remember its your happiness that is important - you cant live your life being afraid! |
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KJ
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yes, ban your boyfriend. He had to get like that some how! |
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Landlord
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The shoving and walking into your house against your will is enough to get a restraining order.
Get one for the BF too, at least ban him from your life. He should respect your wishes regardless of his agreement with them. |
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Michelle
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You can get a restraining order, I think. He's so young though... I am not sure of the law in your area.
This kid needs therapy FAST. His daddy should be doing his job here... tell him to take care of his son. |
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biking for life
 |
I would tell the b/f it is over cuz you can't handle the kid. Tell him to respect you and control his kid a little better or that is it. You don't need to go through life being afraid of a kid. |
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LO7VE
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For one, the mother@$#! would NOT put his hands on me! I don't think your being selfish.That is YOUR house and that kid is not to old to get his *** beat! He only comes in without knocking because he thinks he can get away with it, and that his dad does not care! I would put my foot down, and let that kid and your bf know that this will not be tolerated. You need to tell your bf to get his son in check and to stop
disrespecting you! Stand up to that kid. Don't let him know that you are afraid of him. You have the right to say what you want. You are the adult, that kid is not! I would let your bf know that if he loved and respect you at all he would put his foot down toward his son. It could work! |
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Jet!
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If you can't stand the guys kid, then dump him. If your bf loves his kid, then he won't put you first. |
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Amanda H
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You can get a restraining order. You can also get him arrested for tresspass. If you own the home and he is not invited in by YOU, he is trespassing. |
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hotman400006
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firstly...LEAVE your bf....you can do better...and then get a restraining order |
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Judy1
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If your bf is allowing this against your wishes, you've got a much bigger problem than just he son coming to your home uninvited.
I don't think you are being selfish, I think you are being cautious. But you should carefully evaluate the whole relationship - sounds like the kid comes as a package with his dad, and that might not be worth it. The son obviously has major problems, and sounds like he needs professional help. You could try suggesting that to his dad.
Good luck. Stay safe |
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billyghawaii
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You should not ask your "boy friend" keep his "blood son" away. What you should be asking yourself is this. How serious am I with my boy friend? Do I want to spend my life with boy friend? If you say, "Yes" then you should also except that his son will be a part of his life. Puttng your boy friend in a position to choose between two people he loves is unfair to him. Either accept your boy friend and his family or move on. |
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original321
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Yeah, dump the bf. You should be able to get a restraining order on the brat for shoving (that's called battery). If he has threatened you, that's assault. Most places you can actually have someone locked up for either offense. But, your bf is not going to give up his son. Lose the bf. If the brat is still a problem, get a restraining order and an attack dog. |
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MJ3000
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So you're scared of your bf's son. You've told your bf this and that the son is not allowed near you or your house. Yet the boy came to your house with your bf's knowledge.
Aside from having an unstable, possibly dangerous kid, your boyfriend doesn't respect you enough to 1) protect you or 2) respect your wishes.
Dump the bf NOW. This will only get worse. Is your life and sanity worth this jerk? |
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searching_please
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First of all, I don't think I'd keep a BF that didn't respect my wishes.
Second, if the kid has shoved you, you can get a restraining order against him. Call the non-emergency line at your local police station and talk to them about the situation.
Inform your BF and the child's mother in writing via Certified Mail Return Receipt Requested (the little greed card) that the child is not to be on or near your property and is not to have any contact with you. His father can see him at his mother's house or at a local restaurant or something.
Remember that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Consider getting rid of that BF. Good luck. :) |
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rlloydevans
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First, the BF needs to be an ex-bf, if he is allowing the son to come in when he knows you don't want him to. This is a bad relationship, no matter what happens with the son. I'll tell you now, the son comes with the BF. So if the son frightens you - the relationship with the BF should be frightening you.
Second, as long as the house is in your name (not the BF's) you can tell the son to go and if he doesn't you can call the police for trespassing. That might not hold if BF is still your BF, then it is nonviolent domestic. Only if it turns violent. But if it is ex-BF and the son is doing this then the police should take attention. There are some serious stalking laws and the like now.
So your steps are:
BF is now EX-BF!! I can't emphasize this enough. You may love the man but he has a freak on his back. Don't do the "but I love him" thing. There are other men without freaks on their back. Don't do this to yourself. Say with me... the BF is now EX-BF!!!
Make sure ex-BF and son know that son is not welcome!!
Document all contact with ex-bf's son
If he shows up, tell him to leave, then call police about trespasser. Be willing to press charges.
If it keeps up, with documentation and trespassing you can get a restraining order.
Good luck |
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jcontrols
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Your b/f should understand where you're coming from and do everything to deter the kid! My g/f likes my youngest but knows what a liar and thief he is. Therefore I seldom take him over and NEVER leave him unsupervised. Good luck to you! ;-)= |
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Othniel
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Tell the BF to leave. Get a restraining order for the boy. |
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G-Baby
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a restraining order, but that will keep him away from you, not the house. |
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