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Tiffany M | My boyfriend wants me to live with him at his house...? |
the thing is, he lives with his mom who is very old....she does not like me at all...he pays the bills and what nots...what should I do? |
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Blunt Honesty
 |
find another boyfriend |
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Richard W
 |
Your boyfrind lives with his mom? I say find a new boyfriend... Unless you are 12, then I say it too early to be moving in with your BF. |
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financing_loans
 |
Tiffany,
I dont think anybody understands your question. They all make it simple but its extremely complex.
I would suggest maybe spending a weeked.... then maybe a week... then maybe a month.
Nobody has asked why he lives with his mother, he pays the bills (you mentioned that) for people to say he is a loser and you need to find another boyfriend is BS. He probably lives there because this is the person that brought him into life, and she needs help.
The question is he is torn between you, and his mother. His mom doesnt like you but he loves you. But he cant leave his mom in a cellar to die. To even have this question he is showing he cares about you, but he cares about his mom as well.
Like the other freaks on this site that say break up with him because he lives with his mom are idiots. You can see how he will treat you when you get sick. Most of the answers you got from these people probably didnt know it was mothers day, or used a service that just sends flowers out when it is.
His mother needs him because he is the caregiver. It can be diffcult but is it worth it? I think your relationship will get better over time when she knows you arent taking her son away, but you are adding to his life, and hers. |
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Bob Smith
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I would never live with someone I don't like. |
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venus8926
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Either get him to move out with you to a new place or get a new boyfriend. |
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Just_gone
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Uh uh, no no no! Mom will deep six everything! |
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If. You. Seek. Amy.
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live with him, she might change her mind about you once she gets to see how r u are to live with. but thats only if u take him serious and ur in a commited relationship |
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SpiderWoman
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say no!!!!! |
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steve p
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u could explain u are not ready yet ....and hope she dies soon...lol |
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Kayt
 |
You'd be crazy to move in there; you'd be like a guest. Tell him that when he's ready to cut the umbilical cord from Mommy, you'll consider moving in with him. |
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wish I were
|
Moving in together is hard enough without having his Mom live there and not like you! No reason to rush into anything, I'd think real hard before I moved in there! |
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sarell
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Don't go because you already have a problem and you haven't got there yet so what will it be like when you do? |
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charlene_mueller
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Find the girl who already is living with boyfriend and mom is making it hell, I saw a few pages back. It might help you make YOUR decision. |
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admiralpiett50
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get him to move out |
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Narvy
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Communication, communication, communication. You just have to talk it out all you three together. May be she does not dislike you. May be your bf does not know that his mother dislikes you.
At least be open and make it clear that it will be unwise for you to move in with him unless this is sorted out. You don't want to loose him! If you feel his mother dislikes you, there is a realistic chance that the mother-in-law-syndrome may destroy too much. |
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Grisham
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umm, don't do it. you don't wnat to live with someone who does not like you. |
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suhmersmom
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i say visit magority of the week but then have your own place i wouldnt move in with mother |
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drifterpantaloons
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Umm...
if your ready then do it
but i mena, dont let his mom stop you |
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Mr. God
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why would you want to move into a house where someone doesnt like you? Screw that....I wouldnt. There are plenty of guys out there who dont live with his mommy. |
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Jo Blo
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Go with the very first answer,, find a new boyfriend, or like someone else said,, unless your boyfriend is 12 yr old
don't move in with his mom |
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feisty g
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If you plan on being with this guy long term or marrying him, do not do it! Moving in with each other kills the relationship, trust me, I see it happen again and again. |
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Mr. Twilight
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Well, Maybe you should say no for a while, I mean until he actually moves out and ect. I mean, Moms that don't like other people are really annoying....And they get pissed alot. So just wait a while ok?
YAY!! LV. 2!!! |
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Bottom Contributor
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if your having questions before you even move in, then it will probably only get worse when you do live there. |
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sly
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It is difficult to live with your boyfriend especially when your not planning of getting married. It is too complicated and will have to make lots of adjustments. Better think it over a hundred times and weigh the pros and cons. If you've decided to go for it, then be ready to accept the consequences whether it be good or bad. |
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Mimic01
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Don't Bother to move it. |
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T_Rae
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That sounds like it would be a very stressful situation. Living and having to see someone who doesn't like you everyday. That's not going to be good for your relationship. If she says mean or hateful stuff to you on a daily basis, how long could you take that? You shouldn't have to live like that. Your boyfriend probably doesn't see his mother like that or blames it on old age but you can't take that everyday of your life. It might do more harm to your relationship than good. Talk to him about it. You wouldn't want him to live like that so he shouldn't want you to live like that.
Good luck! |
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Cindy
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I don't think that I would do that if it were me. Especially if she doesn't like you, it will only cause more tension for all concerned.
You don't want to be the one to put a wedge between him and his mom, and moving in with them may just do that.
Plus she is very old as you say, so why make her up set with you for moving in. You wouldn't be comfortable living there.
You have to be comfortable living where ever you are, so that even if he pays for every thing you are still not going to be comfortable. Because you will know that she isn't happy with you living there.
I don't think that I would ask him to move out, I only say that as he may feel the need to take care of his mom. She is old after all and I'm sure she took care of him when he needed her. As our parents get older we feel a need to be there for them since they did so much for us. That is a beautiful thing that he is doing for his mom, by being there for her.
It is some thing that every one of us are faced with when it comes to our own parents as they get older. How can we just place them into a home, it isn't right to do that to them unless they are in need of specialized care. But if specialized care isn't needed then how could you do that to the person who loved you the most in your life. It becomes time to do for them, love them and be there for them.
Any son that would do that for his mom is a good man, he is a real man as he stepped up to the plate and is doing the right thing. He is not a selfish person at all. But he is a obviously a very good man, since what he is doing is so wonderful. He is some one to admired, as he won't turn his back on you when you would be in need. That is the sign of a real man.
His mom can be so proud of him, she obviously raised him to be a good man. What a selfless thing to be doing for his mom. As I've said, he is to be admired.
Good luck with what ever you do. God bless him for being the person that he is, as he is a fine example of what a real man is. |
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tick BOOM BOOM
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no dnt do it dnt get between his mom and him if she dont like you then dont you should ask her what she wants be respectful cuz if yall brake up and you move out she gonna tell her son i told you so |
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godged
|
I went out with a guy who still lived with his mom. She was elderly, needed his help with everything. One night, we were supposed to go to dinner, but there was a thunderstorm and he didn't want to leave her alone. I went over to the house once, saw how they interacted, and never went out with him again. It was sort of creepy, she was very controlling and it was obvious that any love interest in his life with been treated with disdain. And he allowed it.
I suspect you are entering a similar situation, where you (or anyone else) will be viewed as mettling and will never receive any sort of welcome from her.
Why don't you try spending the upcoming long weekend there and see how it goes? |
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