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L i L J u G G a L e T T e | Ok i'm totally freaking out is this normal? |
I'm currently trying to look for a job,I am trying to move into an apartment after I'm done with my transition program (I'll be done in June.)The apartment is going to be for me & my boyfriend soon to be fiance.He can't work due to not having his papers,so I'm trying to get a job as fast as I can to get money for June.But the problem is I look & see how much the apartments are,there around 580.00 rent + 200.00 security deposit.I'm totally freaking out,because I don't think I'll make that at all,I am thinking about looking into subsidized housing.I just want this so bad to live with him & It's making my head hurt I don't know what to do. P.S I'm currently 1 month pregnant also.Is this normal for me to be freaking out over this?
Additional Details
we'll have to get married for it to work & the rules with getting his papers is.You have to wait like I think 1 yr after getting married to fill out the thing for his papers. |
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fontainegraphix
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Finding your first apartment is a very stressful situation. It is perfectly normal to be a little scared! As far as the price goes, you may want to look into someone that is considered a private landlord. What that means, is that it's a person that owns a house or even a small apartment building. Typically the rent will be cheaper because you don't have to pay for all the things an apartment community would have. Such as a pool, fitness center, etc. When you start thinking of renting, also consider your utilites, cost of groceries, cable, anything else that you may have to pay for in a month. You don't want to get into something that you cannot afford. Subsidized housing may be an idea, but they can be a little pricey at times too. If you try to find a private landlord, you can look in your local newspaper, or on a site called craigslist for your area. If you have anymore questions that I did not answer, feel free to email me. Try not to stress too much, just remember..everything happens for a reason. |
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doug0102
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It's normal to "freak out." And you are not the only woman in this country financially supporting a boyfriend, who cannot work, but trusts his pregnant girl to take care of everything. Good luck with your job, apartment and most of all, good luck with your very helpful boyfriend. |
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Roni_Joy
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Yes you are normal to be freaking out about being a new mother, without a job, with a man who doesnt have a job or his papers and without a home. I would be freaking out also. |
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bernie w
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It is normal for any woman to freak out about these things. Make sure when applying for these jobs don't let them know you are pregnant right now. God forbid something happens and you lose the baby, they may not hire you because of your pregnancy. As for a place to live there are some nice subsidized places out there. The best thing to do is go to the local Church organizations. They sometimes can get you into a apt faster. Good luck with everything and its OK to get worried . That's what makes us human. |
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huckleberry
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Well, you have a lot on your plate. Pregnant, not yet engaged, having to support your boyfriend. Is this how you saw your life turning out? Are you really happy with this situation? How long will it take your your boyfriend to get his papers so that he can help you?
You have a perfect right to freak out. However, freaking out is not going to help you at all. So sit down, take a deep breath and then decide if this is really the path you want to go down at this tiime in your life. Once you answer that question honestly to yourself, you will know what to do.
Good luck! |
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tuckerlucydog
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Yes because if you can't afford that now, you should not enter into a lease, beacuse you probably will not be able to afford it then. Maybe you should try to get his papers here faster so he can help out financially. |
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Weimaraner Mom
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First off you should start applying for his residency paperwork now, you don't wait a year until after you've been married to apply. Apply for a fiance' visa then apply for legal residency. Once you apply and get the visa you'll have to be married within a 3 month time frame, be prepared for a lot of interviews, and you'll have to show joint utility bills, credit cards etc to prove that you are legitimate.
Unfortunately in order for you to both qualify for an apartment he'll have to prove he has a job and is making money unless you can qualify for an apartment alone, which means if rent is $580.00 per month you'll have to be making three times the monthly rent which means you'll have to gross at least $1800.00 per month in order to qualify for an apartment, minimum of $11.25 per hour. If he is to live in the apartment then he'll have to be on the lease otherwise if they find he's living there you could run the risk of being evicted, I'm not sure how that will work with him not working unless he has a lot of money in the bank then they will want to see bank statements to prove income. Also don't forget you'll need to pay for utilities like electricity, cable and depending on where you live gas.
If you can look into subsidized housing assistance however, section 8 will not permit you to have your boyfriend living with you if you apply for it yourself as a single pregnant mother, they are very strict and if the complex finds him living there they will notify section 8 and you'll lose your subsidy.
Most complexes will also want first, last and security so you'll be having to put a big chunk of money down up front in order to move in.
It's a tough situation you're in and one I wouldn't want to be in. I'm sorry your parents are racist but if you're pregnant you're going to have to tell them at some point in time that you are and that your boyfriend is ethnic. They might be more supportive than you think. It saddens me that parents make it so difficult for their children to bring problems to them so they can help out. I'd really try and talk to them, yes, they will be dissapointed at first but maybe once they get over their dissapointment and anger they might have a solution for you.
Good luck |
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in COGNITO *
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If you're going to paly house, you need to be married first. (I was pregnant before i was maried, and I played house). I wish I would have moved in with him AFTER we were married. It's easier to make permenant decisions when you know that the person your with will bee there no matter what.
IT CHANGES EVERYTHING!!!
Are you living at home? If so stay there as long as you can. Save money for the baby. If possible stay ther even after the baby if your parents let you. There's something that happens when you parents hear the babys first cry. It turns them into moosh. If they know you're working toward something and want to start your life RIGHT they shoul be happy to accomedate. You'll be off for some time and will need the money. You have the rest of your life to get into debt.
Good luck and God bless |
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acermill
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I'd be freaking out as well, were I pregnant with the child of a man who has no job, no legal stance to be in the country, and no job of your own. You got yourself into a real ugly situation with which you now must deal.
Perhaps you should have thought about this a bit more before becoming pregnant. |
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ebosgramma
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Drop the illegal immigrant and you will not have any of these problems.
Any boyfriend who cannot pull his own weight is a boyfriend you do not need. |
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itschrisk
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You should'nt be freaking out but you should be concerned and highly motivated. It will all work out if you put your mind to it.
Its great that you are in a training program trying to support your fiance but where does his responsibility and obligation come in? You're pregnant and he's not working because he doesnt have papers??? neither do millions of workers in the US but they are still bringing in the bacon.
Tell him to man up and find a job to help you out. |
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Wounded Duck
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Reality sucks, huh! |
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Fonz
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As soon as he gets his papers he will be gone. Don't you think you should have gotten a job and lived on your own for a while before you started making a baby? And really 580.00 is fairly cheap.. |
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