I recently got a job as a wheelchair salesman at a local store. I can use any marketing tactic I would like, I just have to sell wheelchairs.

I have recently been asking my neighbors to cut of their legs so they would have to buy a wheelchair off of me. They have acted like I completely insane, or out of my mind, I don't know why. I thought it was a pretty good idea. I tried a few other ideas such as going to the hospital and shoving my wheelchair under people who were walking out and making them get in it. I also stole handicapped people's chairs while they were asleep and replaced it with my own, then I would approach them in the morning (after they had used mine) and ask them to pay for it because it smelled like *** sweat.

Am I a good salesman?
Additional Details
How can someone be emotionally bankrupt? I love cliches.

You're an idiot slob.