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ltsnthf | Confrontation in a small office? |
I work in a sales office which consists of 8 sales people and 3 assistants. One of the assistants has been with the co. roughly 6 mos. and came on real strong. She's backed off a bit but still carries an 'air' and isn't a real team player.
Deliveries will come in, she'll sign but doesn't convey pkgs are here. Her managers travel, but doesn't convey when or how long they are out of the office. She'll go to lunch but very secretive and say's I'm going and I'll be back.
When she originally started I had a hard time communicating with her and expressed I didn't know how. She started to weep and expressed she didn't know where this was coming from. I could say try looking in the mirror. Maybe it's an age thing, I'm 17 years older. I don't want to go to my boss, I want to figure out a way to confront. Anything you can help with is greatly appreciated. |
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Ali C
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what a horrid situation. What I would say is that you can't change her, all you can change is your reaction to her - it's all you have control over. See if you can stop caring whether she's secretive about her lunchtimes - she might even start telling you, when you don't appear to care either way.
The weeping sounds either very manipulative, or as if she's got some emotional issues that have nothing to do with you. Without being harsh or cold (in fact, just the opposite), ask her outright what she's upset about next time she does it, and see what she comes up with. She might be having complete nightmares in her personal life that are spilling over into work (as they can do), and doesn't feel that she can share it with anyone. That might explain the other behaviour too. If you're kind and sympathetic, it could transform your relationship.
If not, and it is manipulative, you will probably have to point out the impact of her behaviour to her on everyone else |
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Norman M
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There are a number of avenues you can try but it's difficult to suggest on the basis of the little info given.
You have to take account of the hierarchies of your office, and why you feel the way you do about this person first.
Do other colleagues have a problem with this person? If so you might try a collective approach. Whatever your approach to this person you should be non-critical. A supportive attitaude will work better than a critical one. For example "I see that this package arrived but it hasn't been noted up. Is there some part of the procedure you don't understand that I can help you with? |
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Karina
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The best thing to do is to let them know what's going on. I had a similar problem. My mistake was going straight to the boss. Now, I regret not going to the person first and letting them know before hand what was going on. If I would have done this maybe the problem wouldn't have gone out of hand. Be professional and let them know. |
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catwoman
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I had a confrontation with a female in an office of 3 people! I was leery about working with her in the first place, cuz I knew her from school. We got along, until she freaked out one day and started cussing, screaming, & accused me of being nasty to her. She then made a remark about my personal life, and I was so mad, I got up and left without lashing back. I called our boss to discuss the problem, and meanwhile they gave me the rest of the day off, and we were to have a meeting following the weekend to "make nice". Anyways, later that day after I left she tried bagging on me to the boss saying I was gonna quit anyway and it was in their best interest to keep her. My boss didn't like her games and she was "laid off" the following Monday after 4 months of working there.
Moral of the story: Do your job and communicate with this person on a professional level enough to do your job. If a confrontation happens, don't say anything you'll regret, but be the bigger person, and in the end she'll hang herself, figuratively of course. If she's not doing her job, and it's causing real problems, address it to the boss. |
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sexylittledevil@rogers.com
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Ask her out for a coffee. Let her know it is to talk about a couple of concerns that you have and you feel a friendly coffee might be able to resolve them. Express to her without blame the way you feel like you have just told us. Let her know in a nice way that it would be much easier if we could come up with a way to work like a team. See if that works and if not I think you are going to have no other choice than to go further up. |
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trymeimbritish
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Yeah, find a bigger office to fight it out in. |
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Lion J
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Office politics-
Beware of how your expectations affect your understanding of other people on your team. Be clear with them as to your needs from them, like scheduling, completion of assignments, and coordination. Sometimes our own good work ethics are not mirrored by our coworkers, and it is very frustrating. |
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Roxy
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I'd suggest a very low key approach. I was having problems with my assistant and things reached a head with a shouting match. We were both upset, so we went out to lunch and talked about it out of the office environment. I explained why I needed her support in that particular instance when it wasn't forthcoming and she said she hadn't realised what was expected of her. It could be something as simple as that.
Maybe you need to go through her job description to ensure she understands the importance of the prodedures currently in place. Ask for her input to see if she can see any flaws in the system - in other words try to get her on your side.
You say she's not a 'team' player - has she been welcomed to the team or is there a stong clique eithic which she feels she can't break through?
Make sure she knows exactly what is expected of her and if she doesn't measure up against written guidelines, then get rid. |
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Senor Pig
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You better go to your boss before she goes to hers! |
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Bex
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Maybe you should manage it up. You risk being blamed for not informing management if not and then causing an office argument - this will make you look like the problem employee. Managers are paid to confront such situations and will have had training in how to deal with management situations. I'm guessing you are not.
Speak to other members of your team too, find out if they have experienced similar problems, so that you have some back-up when explaining to your manager. |
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