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limbo from zanzibar | HELP on my grammer PLEASE? |
HELP! i need to send this out to my potencial employer, can you please tell me if it sounds right?
i did and internship this semester and now want to get a full time job, i told my boss that i will send him my resume
can u please tell me if it sounds right? (enlish is not my first language) so if u could also help me with my grammar
here it is, thanks:
"
Good Morning Mr. X
I really enjoyed working for X company this semester and I was hoping to continue my career with X company.
I was wondering if you could submit my resume to the HR office. I know it will look better if someone inside the company does it for me, rather than I will do it on my own.
It was a pleasure meeting you
First Last name
p.s. resume is attached"
what do u guys think? any corrections? i really want that job |
 |
 
Trollbuster
 |
Dear Mr. X:
I thoroughly enjoyed my internship at X and would sincerely welcome an opportunity to continue with full time employment. I would appreciate your perusal of my attached resume and an opportunity to continue contributing to the success of X. I look forward to hearing from you. Thank you.
Sincerely,
First, last name. |
|
mario_giordano
|
I have re-written it for you below. See what you think. Good Luck
Dear Mr. X:
Working for your company this semester has been a very enjoyable experience and I would like to apply for a full-time position.
Given your position in the company, I feel it would be more advantageous if you submitted my resume to the HR office rather than if I sent it in myself. A copy of my resume is attached to this letter.
It was a pleasure meeting you and I appreciate your assistance.
Sincerely,
First Last Name |
|
anjel d
|
SOUNDS GOOD EXCEPT THE PART ABOUT THEM SENDING IN THE RESUME FOR U U SOMEHOW NEED TO CHANGE THAT |
|
Tim
 |
rather than I WOULD do it on my own |
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dontimaginetheyllallcometrue
 |
Don't say "was hoping" say I hope to continue my career
Don't say "rather than I will do it on my own" say Rather than do it on my own. or I know it will appear more professional if somone inside the company sends my resume.
Good luck! |
|
Brite Tiger
|
It was a real pleasure working for X company this semister, and I am very interested in continuing my career with X company on a permenant basis.
I hope you won't think this too presumptios, but I would like to ask if you could submit my resume to the HR-office as I think it would have more weight if it were submitted by someone inside the company rather than by a direct submission from me.
Thank you for your time and anticipated attention to this matter. It was a pleasure meeting you.
Resume Attached |
|
Proud Tree Hugger!
 |
I think you meen "I am", insted of "I was".
I really enjoyed working for X company this semester and I am hoping to continue my career with X company. |
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Phoenix, Wise Guru
|
First, it's grammar. There is a spell check.
Second, this is a horrible letter to send! It's completely unprofessional and you clearly just want him to do you a favor. You need to find a better way to go about this. Ask him for a reference on your resume and submit it yourself.
I would be ticked to get a letter like this. Seriously. |
|
***____ //_ \\_____***
|
i guess that i was hoping doesn't sound correct to me if u replace it with and i appreciate to continue my carrer with x company.
i was wondering ....doesn't sound great go ahead and replace as ....i would be grateful if you could submit my resume to ....
well this letter which ur gonna send is not a professional letter u know |
|
Delicious
|
It's okay, but for me I would make a few changes...
First of all you don't know what time of day he'll read it so not good morning.. name address etc gets aligned to the far right but this format wont let me do that.
Your name
address
city, state, and zip
Dear Mr._______,
I have really enjoyed working for _______this semester, and was hoping to continue my career with the company.
If you wouldn't mind submitting my resume to H.R. along with a letter of recommendation or a good word, I would greatly appreciate it. It has been a pleasure working with you, I look forward to proving myself as a valuable asset to this company.
Thank you for your time,
first & last name
Good luck !!! |
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Coyote
|
I would change the wording a bit but its not bad..
Example
Dear, Mister X
I am writing in regards to my summer internship. I just wanted to extend my thanks for giving me such a wonderful opportunity. I really enjoyed my time there, and learned alot. I was hoping there was a possibility that I could continue on at X company.
I was wondering if it would be possible to have me resume submitted to human resources? You will find this attached.
Thank You again for the opportunity and your attention in this matter.
Best regards:
name /contact number
this way you arent repeating as much
anyway good luck i hope you get a job there. |
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truth4u
 |
kosmoistheman's letter was good. |
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Miss Crickett
|
To be honest the letter is terrible. Not to put you down or anything but I would disregard this letter completely and show confidence and ambition by speaking for yourself and asking Mr. X to be a reference for you on your resume. Companies like to see a person who is not afraid to stand up and speak for themselves. Show your enthusiasm for this job. If you did a great job in your internship and are confident in your ability to be an asset for this company then stand up and say so. You can do it! |
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