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brendanconnal | Should I send this email to my boss? |
Dear Patrick,
Further to what happened on Saturday night, I feel that there are a few things that I should explain about Lara and me.
First of all, Lara and I do not like to drink. Granted, I drink beer sometimes, but if Lara is around, out of respect to her, I do not. If Lara had not been at the dinner I may have had a beer, but I certainly would not have joined in with the dozen or so ganbes.
Secondly, I had been sick with stomach problems all last week, I fact I made more than clear when just about everyone at the table came to talk with me. For this reason I was more than a little annoyed when you continued to try to foist beer on me throughout the meal, and when I refused you said it was because Lara told me not to. I would like to think that you have more repspect for me than that.
Lastly, in my opinion, Lara works very hard at this job for very little in the way of thanks. For you to say to her, "Well, you'll never become an ADOS or a DOS if you don't drink!" was... |
 |
 
tmweber
 |
Don't send an email. Confront him face to face about this. My boss used to send emails to me degrading my work and telling me how stupid I was, etc. So I began to send every email to my home email and print it and put them in a folder.
Well that came back to bit him in the butt and he lost a lot and I won A LOT. |
|
fiteprogram
 |
If your boss has truly done made these statements, then I would resign. Basically he's saying that a person with solid moral fiber cannot excel within that company/department. Please learn from my experience, if you have half a heart and/or brain, you won't be happy to act the way that's required for you to be promoted. I would definitely send this letter along with one of resignation or two week notice. I'm not sure what your local economy is like, but here, it's hard for ALL people regardless of race or sex to find a good job with a good employer. You might want to consider some fall back options. One that works here, is registering with temp or employment agencies when you know you're on your way out of the door. I applaud you for standing your ground in the situation and wish you major blessings in the resolution of the matter. *thumbs up* |
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sabrina
|
Please do not send that e-mail to your boss. Keep your communications to situations in the workplace. He may have had a little too much himself and would be embarassed to receive that e-mail and then things would get really dicey at work. Keep after work stuff out of the workplace!
Sabrina |
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Vladimir Putin
|
As long as you want to continue working there, don't send it.
But, do have a low-key conversation in the hall sometime - very easygoing, hey by the way type of talk.
If he doesn't get it then, he never will, so you have an informed decision to make. |
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Sassafrass
|
um.....you may want to spell check it first...in case he tries to use it against you as you seek new employment |
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Trying for Big in Boise
 |
Hey Brendan,
It sounds like a classic issue of a boss trying to control people's private lives as well as business lives. They have a right to the second area to a degree that you are willing to comply with their rules, but your personal life is out of bounds for him to try to control.
I think you should give up on reasoning with the guy unless you really want to stick it out in an environment that sounds really horrible. He is using you or your girlfriend and that's pretty inmature and is wrong.
Don't send the letter. Look at getting out of there with a smile on your face. |
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Thornbird
 |
Your boss sounds like 'a right prick', he is forcing you to drink when its inappropriate. If you want to keep your job, and Lara's, don't send the mail but make a note of, and remember the details however, if both of you are considering resigning; and have another job to go to, then 'Get the big guns out; and BLAST him! I assume that you are in the US because 'ganbes, ADOS,DOS are expressions I don't recognise, In the UK the term 'Blast him' "Does not mean shoot him" but, tell him what you really think of his attitude. Don't get the two mixed up!. |
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Katrine
|
Do not send. If you really can't let it go, save it as a draft and wait five days, then read it again. Then, do not send, I repeat, do not send. Part of a job is staying cool under pressure, wherever and whomever it's coming from. |
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uchaboo
|
You could if you want to or you can tell him. I think you should send this e-mail. If he ever discharge you or fire you or whatever, then, you can go to the HR department and tell them what you told us. Show them this letter and let the HR department know that this person was trying to get you to drink, making you uncomfortable and then insulting your girlfriend. You thought that sending this e-mail on how you felt let him know you did not appreciate that.
If anything happens to you, then you got this. I am just saying this is a "just in case" type of deal.
This boss of your threaten you that if you do not drink, you won't get promoted. He insulted your girlfriend as well.
You know what? Send this to your boss AND the HR department (and whomever hiss boss may be). This should do it.
What do you have to lose? |
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poshbaby24
|
I think it would be a good idea, just reword a few things, other than that I would |
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rhymingron
|
This is a reasonable explanation, although one shouldn't be needed. However, being the jerk he is, your boss would no doubt take it the wrong way. So I wouldn't bother. After all, you have nothing to apologize for. He does. |
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Constance Olivia
 |
What is a ADOS or DOS? I wouldn't send the letter you could get fired. I would perhaps say it politely to his face. |
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cancerman
|
No. These kinds of emails sent only end up making more trouble. I think that you wrote the email you'll feel better. The guy sounds like he may have been drinking and he's the one who needs to clarify himself not you. |
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I'm done
 |
Nah, just let it go and hopefully he will feel like an ***. Otherwise he will probably just make fun of your note. |
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kristen
|
Get O'doull's next time and start giggling. He might not notice the difference. ;) Or hey, maybe u can get him to drink that, too.
Have you ever tried non-alcoholic wine, btw? Delicious. You could be nice and take him a bottle someday. |
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J.D.
|
Forget it... nothing good would come from it.
Sit down and talk with the guy man to man. That's how it should be anyway. Emails like this can be taken so many different ways... and it's usually the worst way.
BTW, what's a "ganbes"? |
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foxymangray
|
No, stuff it, resign. If your boss upsets you this much then nothing will change it. |
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quikboy
|
1st check for errors in your e-mail, and then you can send it. |
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THINKER
|
First of all i get the impression that there was more to this ,but anyhow whether you send this email or not you are going to have to face this man. Never write to someone what you are not willing to say to thier face if you were in the right stand you ground everyone now and then has to confront thier boss and i trurly think you should talk to him face to face man to man it gives a different impression than sending email.Sending the email makes it look as though you are afriad to stand up and face him no one should be afriad to say whats on thier mind |
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AGHOST
|
Dear Brendan,
Can't you take a joke? You'r fired!
Sincerely,
Patrick.
Don't put it in writing. Be upfront and discuss it with him and you won't get the above reply. Your word against his if discussed in private. Then he won't do it again. Good luck. |
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DonnaDoop
|
honestly? ....... wait tillmorning and read it again, if you still want to send it, then find another job, then when you get one, tell your boss to their face!!! |
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wannaplaytoo2001
|
clean up the spelling mistakes ....be ready to lose your job.....but crap it sounds like the guy is a jerk....you know best how he will react...sounds like Lara should maybe find a better job too ...best of luck |
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Overachiever
|
No. Sounds to me like this is a conversation you really need to have face-to-face. Find a good time, a private place, and try to use statements like "I felt ___ when you ___". "In the future, I would appreciate it if you ___" If your boss continues to have trouble separating your private preferences from job performance, it's time to work on your resume. You should not be required to "explain" your beverage choices to anyone in the world other than perhaps your wife and your mother! Good luck. |
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Jeremy
 |
Sending it could hurt your career. Sometimes you have to put up from crap from people in a position of authority. If it's something you feel strongly about you should discuss it with your boss, but I wouldn't do it through email. |
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PuppyPower
|
personally, i don't like to leave anything in writing like that to my boss; it's just further ammo for down the line... he'll save it and put it in your personnel file. just let it die. |
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